Sweetly Broken

Maybe I'll give blogging another shot...

2012-01-01T19:18:00.000-08:00

Well its only been...oh... a year and almost 3 months since my last blog post. And in the interests of it being a brand new year (and one I'm particularly excited about) I thought why not give it another shot? I'm not making it a goal or anything (which I think in and of itself relieves some pressure to try to keep up), but since I enjoy writing, keeping up with the goings on of others and communicating in general, I thought this would be an excellent avenue of choice for just that.

Lists are easy to read, so I'll go with that format today.

Exciting moment of 2011:

1) March - My baby brother's wedding to Tabitha - so happy to have a sweet sister in our family! And she is just wonderful!

2) April - riding my 2nd MS150 - hard but good!

3) April - going on a much awaited first date with Nathan (I'll share more in a bit!)

4) May - my 3rd and toughest year of teaching finishing. I didn't think it would ever end.

5) June - moving into a cute little house with two sweet friends, both named Ashley!

6) June - becoming an "official" couple with Nathan (again - more to come in a little bit!)

7) July - trip #4 to East Asia. I just love that place! Crazy but very sweet trip.

8) September - turning 28 and feeling like I'm getting old!

9) October - celebrating the weddings of 3 sweet friends

10) November - running my first half marathon! I LOVED IT! (and thought I would hate it!)

11) November - buying a new computer. It was much needed and I'm so so glad I did! It has made life a lot easier to have a working computer.

12) December - performing for the 3rd time in Celebration, wearing a tux and tap dancing in the show! Seeing the Lord again work through this performance to touch and change lives I think is my most favorite part though!

13) December - holiday celebrations and parties galore!

14) December - for Christmas, Nathan got tickets for us to go see the Chinese ballet. I've been waiting for 3 years to see that!

15) Watching Baylor have its first Heisman Trophy Winner (RGIII!!), be ranked #12 in the nation in football and watching them (on TV at a fun party!) win their bowl game in fine fashion!`

Eagerly anticipating in 2012:

1) Celebrating the weddings of more sweet friends (including Audrey, a friend I've known since I was 10 and getting to be a bridesmaid in that wedding!)

2) Trip #5 to East Asia in March

3) Reading books - I want to get more in a habit of that because I LOVE to read but dont' get to do it as often as I'd like.

4) Continuing to date Nathan and seeing what the Lord has in store for our relationship.

5) Summer vacation. Its a ways off but I'm excited.

6) My car being paid off! Only 2 more payments left!

Focusing on this year:

1) Deepening - in my walk with and faith in the Lord, in relationships with my friends and family and in my interactions of those I come in contact with in my church, community and work place

2) Organizing - not a strength of mine but something I'm going to challenge myself to be because I highly value organization but have little capacity to actually be that

3) Simplifying - for an overcommitted and super busy person, its easier said than done. But for the above two to happen successfully, this is a must.

And for those of you wondering about Nathan:

1) I said no the first time he asked me out (dumb!) but am so so so glad I reconsidered :0)

2) He is the most humble, patient, encouraging and servant-hearted person I've ever met.

3) We love adventures - doing all those things that you always say you want to do or try but never know who to do it with. It's been fun adventuring with him and we are always planning some new adventure to go on (some real, some not real) :0)

4) He's an engineer and hard-working, very intelligent one at that.

5) We've been dating 6 and half months now and its been a lot of learning, but a very sweet season.

6) I would put a picture, but blogger is being fussy about that. I'll try again another day. But he's very handsome!

The Bridal Series - Introduction

2010-10-13T19:03:00.001-07:00

Haha. I know what you are thinking. Why would the heck would someone who hasn't even had a date in several years (yeah, shocking - I know! Haha...j/k) name a blog series to be about something bridal?

Well let me tell you.

Better idea - don't use my words. Use the Word.

"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her in to the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her... And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD." ~Hosea 2:14, 19-20 (ESV) ~

In a recent somewhat passing conversation, the Lord affirmed something in my heart I think he has been stirring up for a little while now. It has been tremendously impressed upon me how I need to be living as if I were a bride of Christ. In such an intimate love affair with Him that nothing else matters. I really have been struggling with a lot of distractions and some tough issues lately. I was really convicted how little I fear, revere, submit, honor and obey the Lord and how little I regard my relationship with Him, my Creator and Sustainer.

So, since I am a verbal/written processor and I feel it is something we as believers in Christ should be living like, I thought I would start a series on this ever deepening walk with Him.

Currently, I feel like I'm in a season of renewal in my love for Him for the purpose of deepening it. I am excited to know Him and the things of Him. The Word is coming alive and I am beyond excited about prayer. Never been in this place before. And its hard and sometimes requires sacrifice, but oh the merit it has!

I also have realized that when I am focused on Him alone, all else falls into place and He provides in abundance and beyond what I can imagine.

This doesn't come without refinement and pruning - He is revealing some core sin issues that I have allowed to sneak into my life and that need to go. Painful at the very least. Sweet though. Very sweet.

So, join me as I walk this road. Won't you come along too in your own life?

Sin is Crawling in My Kitchen

2010-09-11T06:37:00.000-07:00

*Note - these are not actual bugs in my kitchen. This picture is from Google Images!

Well, various types of bugs, really. Most are dead now - a few survivors are still creeping around after an intense battle on Thursday night but I don't think they will last very long. My kitchen in my 1 bedroom apartment is about 8x8 and I have set out 8 plastic roach bait things and 6 roach tablets. Clearly, I wasn't playing around.

And then I got to thinking last night about the bug problem in my dwelling. It is so similar when we allow sin to enter and stay and in the dwelling of our hearts! Here's some application points I thought of while driving down I10:

Sin, like bugs, is ugly and disgusting and rather difficult to be around.
The problem started small - just maybe seeing a few bugs scurry around. Annoying, but I thought not too harmful. Then it started to grow. And I ignored it more - mainly because they were gross to deal with and everytime I touched something in the kitchen, I ran the risk of a bug crawling out. Our sin often starts as just a small thing, not too noticeable or effective. But then we ignore it, thinking it will go away, not really adressing where the issue is nesting. And then it becomes such a big problem, that we are afraid to touch it and just let it be.
I tried to get my apartment people to help. They came 2 times to spray. Other people, while they can pour wisdom into your life cannot fix the problem for you. You have to take action and be vigilantly watching over your heart and guarding it, just like I needed to do a better job in protecting my kitchen.
I tried a mild bug spray once to try to fix the problem. It failed miserably and in the process almost suffocated my dog. Our sin affects other people (or dogs in this case!) and can be destructive in their lives as well, not just our own.
At one point earlier this week, I considered ways that I could just stay in my bedroom where there are almost no bugs so I wouldn't have to address the problem going on in the rest of my apartment. Sin tries to isolate and corner us. And it isn't possible to live like that, just like its not possible for me to never leave my bedroom. I have to go in other parts of the apartment. I want my apartment, just like my spirit, to be a place where myself and others feel welcomed, comfortable and refreshed. They can't do that if bugs/sin are crawling everywhere!
Because the bugs were mainly everywhere in my kitchen, I couldn't cook at all and had little desire to go anywhere near the kitchen. This caused me to want to eat out every single night and then that took a toll on my desire to eat healthy. So basically, sin isn't an isolated occurrence. It can lead us into other sin. I was spending more money than I had budgeted for eating out and I was gaining a little weight because of that.
I lived in fear of the bugs. They consumed my thoughts sometimes on ways to end their lives. Thats how sin is. It causes us to live in fear and it can consume our thoughts sometimes. Instead of being focused at work or enjoying time with family and friends, I was consumed with thinking about the bugs in my apartment and how to kill them.
I avoided the situation at all costs. I knew it had to be fixed, but didn't want to deal with it. Thats how we approach sin a lot. We know its wrong and disgusting, but avoiding it just seems like the easier route rather than addressing it head on and ridding ourselves of the impurities that are indwelling.
The battle for my kitchen was brutal. I spent $30 on cleaning and bug killing materials. I suited up with my purple rubber gloves, sprayed my entire kitchen down with bleach, set far too many roach baits and roach tablets out. And I stayed up til 11pm on a school night to fight this battle. Because I waited to address the issue, the battle was that much harder and cost me in my finances, my time and my energy. Sin is like that. The deeper it takes root and nests in our heart, the harder it is to get rid of and the more it costs us. I feel so much better now that my kitchen is clean, smells like bleach and I can see the carcasses of many bugs dying due to ingestion of whatever chemicals are in those baits and tablets. I am able to live in freedom (well, once the carcasses are cleared), enjoy my kitchen and my dwelling that much more. So much like sin. I can enjoy my dwelling in the presence of the Lord because my sin has been cleansed and removed and I no longer live in fear.

So I know thats an absolutely disgusting illustration, but really sin is disgusting. Think about how the Father sees our sin. So true. If only we would come to hate the things of sin as much as I hate the bugs in my kitchen.

Be blessed!

Bittersweet

2010-08-07T19:25:00.000-07:00

Oh my friends. I just returned 5 days ago from my amazing trip to East Asia. I'm so blessed and humbled that the Lord continues to provide ways for me to go back there and that I fall a little more in love with it each time I am there.

That being said, it leaves me with an increasingly bittersweet feeling each time I leave. Do I enjoy returning to my bed, my routine and my comforts of home sweet home? Sure! Who doesn't? At the same time, however, I long for and miss the city and country I never knew I would fall so much in love with.

This trip was amazing. I really loved it. I am so blessed that the Lord put this opportunity before me and made a way to go. On that note, did I ever tell you of how He provided the way completely for me to go? If not, I will now! Its too good not to share.

So, 3 years ago, I was finishing up grad school, which was primarily paid for through loans and grants. Each semester, UNT would send me a check because the total amount of loans and grants I had was greater than all the tuition and fees and such. Well, a few months ago, I get an email from UNT. I hadn't been there in 3 years and honestly don't really have much involvement with them beyond the diploma I possess. I opened the email and it said that in the summer session of 2007, the check they had for me had gotten lost or had never been sent and that they needed to pay me that amount soon or I would lose it. I thought that was great! I had no idea the amount and thought maybe a couple hundred dollars or so since it was just for a summer session. I was a little skeptical too, but proceded nonetheless. At the same time, I knew this trip would be on my dime and I was praying and quickly figuring out ways to save over $2000 I needed for my trip. A few weeks later, the check came in the mail and much to my awe and amazement, the check was for $2500!!! Ya'll - the trip cost $2450. Oh my word. I knew at that point that there should be no doubt in my mind whether I should be returning to East Asia or not. The money basically landed in my lap at the perfect time!

Anyways, back to my trip. This trip was so sweet for a few reasons:
1) Since we were just there to hang out with our friends we had made and there were only four of us on the team, the pace was much much slower. This allowed us to really soak in our surroundings, the culture and really take time to observe how the Lord was working. I wouldn't trade that for anything! If I return to teach English again, it will be hard because I enjoyed this aspect so much!

2) I'm a nut for cultural exchange opportunities and this was truly it. We ate where our friends ate, played the games they play with friends (real MahJong and another really fun card game), saw their city, used public transportation (buses!) and even got to go into one of our friend's homes for a dumpling (jiao zi) making party! Amazing!

3) Because we were soley there to be with our friends, this meant a lot of free time to invest in their lives and see how they live and maybe why some of them have the outlook on life that they do.

4) There were some really deep, meaningful , Spirit-filled conversations that took place and I just love that. These conversations, whether I participated or just listened and prayed, keep playing in my head. Its amazing to watch one's countenance when they first encounter Truth and I just love that!

I could go on for hours about the trip and show you my pictures (I actually took some this time - close to 200! That's a miracle for me!).

For now, I will continue to pray for the country and for my friends there and am eagerly seeking opportunities to return, Lord willing!

"For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations." ~Isaiah 61:11~

Summer 2010

2010-07-18T08:10:00.000-07:00

Oh wow. Too long between blog posts, I know. But during the year, my life is rather hectic and then I lose a lot of motivation to do much of anything during the summer/recovery time. But in case you've been wondering where I'm at, here it is in category and list format (I may have gotten some of my father's engineering brain in me - but if I truly had that, wouldn't it all be on an excel spreadsheet??)

What I have done this summer:

Cleaned/purged/organized/decorated my apartment - its so nice not living in a setting that stresses me out because of the mess I created.
Met with friends for lunch, breakfast, ice cream, coffee, dinner, etc. and just caught up on life with them. My dream job would be to spend all day just listening to people do life and walking with them. Summers allow me to do that dream job a little bit.
Prayed and spent a lot of time in the Word. Such true refreshment.
Spent more time with my family than I normally do.
Spent time alone - very rare for me. Being a true extrovert, this can be hard but its been sweet and refining. The Lord uses my summers to sit me down, do business, refine, sift and speak to me because honestly, and frustratingly, I don't do this very well during the rest of the year.
Prepared for a return trip to East Asia! Its been a lot of work (more than I ever expected) to get this set up, but its been good. I'm really thankful for my co-leader, Philip and the rest of our team and can't wait to see what the Lord is going to do in our trip.
Missed my friends that were out of town, out of country, busy with work, etc. but prayed for them in that and excited for what the Lord is doing in their lives.
Had a mini reunion with friends from Saudi I hadn't seen in like 11 years. I didn't know what to expect going in and was a little nervous, but I enjoyed reconnecting with my childhood and the part of me not many people know too much about or understand.
Went dancing (two-stepping) a lot! I enjoy this a lot and want to become better at it. Maybe some lessons in the near future? Anyone want to join me??
Started a new budget - the first month is going pretty well with only a few minor slip ups!
Started training for a half-marathon. Yes, you read that right. And I know you still don't believe me.
Walked through Ruth with the girls in my Sunday school class. Still in progress. So great.

Things I have yet to do this summer but am planning on:

Finish sewing my curtains. Yes, they were on my list last year too. Don't judge.
Going to the beach or a waterpark.
Run an entire 5K. I am up to running 2 miles straight and then doing intervals for the rest. The heat is not helping in my running endeavors. But having sweet, encouraging trainers and friends is!
Return to East Asia - coming up Friday! Excited doesn't even begin to describe my sentiments on this!
Go to Glorietta, New Mexico on a leadership retreat - I am so thankful for this opportunity and can't wait for all the fun and relaxation that will be had. And its like the cheapest vacation ever - used miles for airline tickets and am only paying $75 for everything else!
Creating materials for my classroom - for my blind student and for my SmartBoard. I started my lesson plan overview for the year the other day and am really going to hit it hard when I return from China. I don't want to be in too much of panic mode before August 23. We'll see.

Things the Lord has taught me recently:

I need to be a woman of my word. Flaky-ness has gotten me by to this point, but I really don't like it. If I say I am going to do something, I need to follow through and be reliable and trustworthy. If I don't plan on doing something, I don't need to say it.
Love is not something you give back once you've received it. I need to love, regardless of whether I have been shown it first or not. Acceptance and approval have been major issues in my life, but they need not define how I love others. True love is selfless and doesn't expect a return. See 1 Corinthians 13.
I need to stop playing it safe. As a recovering perfectionist, I only like to do what I know works and will be successful. I sometimes have good, risky ideas for ministry, life, work, etc. but because there lies an element of potential failure, I tend to back away. Since when did the Lord call us to fear and timidity? So in my life, my ministry and my vocation, I really want to start stepping up, making changes, taking risks and pushing others to do the same. Even if I do fail or mess up, there are lessons of great worth in that and I need to relish those moments.

Au bientot!

Putting the bad days at work in perspective...

2010-02-09T16:12:00.000-08:00

But first, some highlights from the past couple of weeks:

*Mosaic Women's Retreat - so amazing! Just watching the Lord working in women's lives is such a passion and joy of mine. And I just completely felt the words of the Spirit speaking through me as I taught/facilitated which is an amazing and humbling feeling!

*Watching the China team form and seeing daily provisions for this exciting opportunity!

*Performing in the Summit Variety Show! I was in a really powerful drama playing the part of a demon (perfect for me, don't ya' think??) and I got to....are you ready for this.....TAP DANCE!!! Too much fun! I think it all went pretty well too :0)

*Inspiration at work - even though it is difficult some days, I've felt really inspired lately as far as ideas for my classroom - activities, lessons, behavior plans, etc. I love creativity!

*Softball is coming soon! Hip hip hooray!

Okay and now a quote that will put any bad day or week or year at work in perspective. I found it in a good book I am reading (The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan)

"When you have had one of those take-this-job-and-shove-it days, try this. On your way home, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by the Q-tip Company. Be sure that you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change into something comfortable, such as a sweat suit, and lie down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer, remove it, and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer. As you read, notice in small print this statement: 'Every rectal thermometer made by Q-tip is personally tested.' Close your yes. Say out loud five times, 'Thank you, oh thank you, that I do not work in quality control at the Q-tip Company.'"

Bahhahaha!!!!

"Yeah, I'm just clumsy..."

2010-01-26T19:17:00.000-08:00

You would think saying that maybe like once a week would be fairly normal. Try 4 times in the past 5 days! Good grief. This is not my week for being graceful.

*I tripped down some stairs and landed with a thud at Bible study on Thursday night in the middle of a serious conversation after returning from the bathroom (always even more awkward when people know exactly where you are coming from!). I had tripped over the cuff of my own pants.

*I have a blister on my left foot from my tap shoe, so while practicing, I took off the left shoe so as to not rub the blister any more. In doing that, I managed to stomp on my left big toe with my right tap shoe, taking some skin off, shedding some blood and leaving a nice purple bruise.

*On Sunday night, I was teaching part of class at Sunday Bible study. I had been sitting on a tall chair while I talked because I was sore from bike riding that morning. As I was finishing up talking, I got down off the chair. As I was doing that, I somehow pulled the chair down with me, turned around to catch it and it landed on my left foot, leaving another nice purple bruise. At least no one will forget what I talked about now! I went out with a bang...literally!

*Tonight, while heading out to go out to dinner, a guy was coming up the stairs in front of my apartment. I stepped to one side to let him past and started down the stairs. Well, tripped down them and landed in the grass is a better phrase for that. And leaving some nice scrapes on the top of my right foot.

Welcome to the life of Lara.

Busy little bee!

2010-01-19T21:40:00.001-08:00

Hey friends!

So I was planning on blogging tonight anyways and Chels so nicely reminded me it was time, so I guess I'd better do it even though it is waaaayyyy past my bed time.

I have been very busy but very excited lately!

Some cool things I have done lately:
Started MS150 training (I feel like a turtle right now!)
Fed some homeless in downtown Houston (can't wait for that again!)
Tap danced (preparing for the variety show next month!)
Was one of 5 teachers (the only special ed one though!) on my campus to have a proposal accepted to have an interactive whiteboard installed in my classroom (coming sometime next month!)
Prayed for Haiti
Worked the Missions Expo at church and got to tell people about Ch*na

Some cool things coming up:
More MS150 training
Variety show (assuming we make it in the tryouts!)
Preparation meetings for Ch*na (it gets more exciting all the time!)
Possible trip to Syria/Lebanon in the summer!
My class' Women's Retreat (in the planning stages now - its gonna be so great! Have I mentioned how much I still love getting to be a part of women's ministry!?!?)
Softball season!

Some things to be praying for:
Rest and being filled by the Holy Spirit during that time
Financial provision for Ch*na, MS150 and possibly Syria/Lebananon
Women's Retreat
My job and my attitude towards it (more on this later)
Haiti
Ch*na team
My parents' health - nothing serious right now
Kyle's actuary exams

What is going on in your life?

Spin class is hard...sometimes life is too

2010-01-06T19:44:00.000-08:00

So my journey to riding my biggest bicycle ride thus far (the MS150 in April) has begun this week.

It has not been easy. My Sunday ride was FREEZING! I rode decently but came back and laid under a blanket and shook for 30-45 minutes after the ride. My dad doesn't get cold often either and even he was chilled to the bone. I told him I wasn't riding in the cold anymore until we went to the bicycle shop and found some more appropriate winter riding attire.

I went to spin class tonight. The first 20 minutes were dreadful! My lungs started hurting and I felt rather nauseated. Not a good way to start! The last 40 minutes were challenging but I didn't feel quite so miserable as I had started out.

I am putting everything I am doing for training in my planner so I can see my progress. Hopefully, when there is more than 2 entries, it will encourage me to press on and feel confident that I am capable of this seemingly monstrous challenge.

In other news, do you ever have those days/weeks where you feel like everything you say is wrong? In the past 2 days, in conversations with close friends, it seemed like everything I said, the person I was with found something wrong with it. I don't know if it is me with a wrong heart attitude or if its my friends and for some reason it all just piled up, but its frustrating and discouraging nonetheless. I've really been praying through and checking my heart because I just feel awful. Or maybe its all things I am making up in my mind that seem like a big deal but are not. I don't know.

One thing you can pray for is my attitude at work. I don't know what the deal is. I almost cried today because I didn't want to be there. Weird. I mean, the first days back are hard, but I've never felt like this before. I was glad to see my kids and receive hugs from them, but otherwise I just hated today and my job and what I do.

Anyways, I like being back at blogging. Sharing life with others, both theirs and mine, is a passion of my heart, so I like this and I like you! Much love!

Twenty ten

2010-01-01T12:16:00.000-08:00

Hey!

So, one of my few New Year's Resolutions: blog once a week :0) Get excited.

Some things to be excited about in the coming year:
*Co-leading a return to trip to Ch*na
*Riding in the MS150 in April
*Kyle just moved back to Houston, so adventures with my brother will be plentiful
*Finishing year 2 of teaching
*Possible trip to Syria in June
*Weddings of friends

Each year, one of my friends and I (I'll keep her name private...to protect the innocent) have a rhyme about our singlehood. It started in '08. Here they are with this new one:
*Get a date in '08 (didn't happen for either of us)
*Make him mine in '09 (still didn't happen)
*Find some men in the year of '10 (maybe this year will be our luck year???)

Haha. I'll keep you posted on how our rhyme works out this year.

What are your exciting plans for the new year?

Overheard in the special ed class...

2009-09-02T20:11:00.001-07:00

C (my student): I can't wait to get married!

Me: Why do you want to get married, C?

C: So I can live with her!

Me: Why do you want to live with her?

C: Because she is sooo cute!

Me: Why do you think she is cute?

C: Because she is so nice all the time.

Me: What is her name?

C: Um, um, um....I can't really remember.

I love my sweet, special little friends. The little boy I had this conversation with is about the most precious thing ever! Its conversations like the one above that just make my day! I just had to share.

First day of school! First day of school!

2009-08-23T15:34:00.000-07:00

Now if only I could have the kind of energy and enthusiasm that Nemo exudes about returning to school! Don't get me wrong - I am excited for my kids to come. But nervous too... we shall see how tomorrow goes. I can't believe it is here. I think it will be a good one. My kids seem a little more busy than my ones last year, so I think I will be very busy and very tired. But they seem endearing each in their own way. I've met 3 of them and they all have very cute little personalities in their own right. Hopefully I will remember that when they are giving me a run for my money :0)

So it seems that I feel inspired to blog about once a month. Actually, I feel inspired far more often than that, but am easily distracted and only seem to put my inspiration into action about that once a month. Just think how much I could get accomplished if I put my inspiration into action every time I was inspired to do something, not just blogging. Goodness.

This past month has been...trying. And I can't really pin it to one event or moment, but I just feel like I'm struggling to stay afloat. Thank goodness the Lord is there to do the treading for me. I've just been kind of uncharacteristically blue and melancholy and am unsure why. But one thing it has done is that is has forced me to press into Him, constantly turning each thought and action over to Him. I think some refining and pruning is probably taking place. I think its been hard to because I feel like its over the same stuff I've always battle and have seen Him victorious over it in my life before. Frustrating! Right now, I'm in a week or two of pulling back from my normal activity level so I can rest, be filled and listen to His sweet voice guide, comfort, soothe and discipline me. Its hard because I am having to give up that control that I like to hold onto so often, but it is sweet...sweetly broken. Now you know where the name of my blog comes from. Because its in these seasons that I've been in before where I am just hurting and crying out but it is sweet like nothing else.

Anyways. This summer was good. I am sad and happy see it come to a close. I enjoyed the freedom, the abundant relationship-building opportunities, the ability to be spontaneous and the physical rest it brought. But I missed the structure and routine I so often crave, the ability to minister to my sweet special ones and just feeling like a real adult. Having summers off is definitely something that makes me regress into a much younger pattern. But its good. I haven't had a summer off since I was a senior in high school, so I liked it. And it will come again. After the next nine months of hard work.

Something I have been pondering lately is confidence and honesty. Several close friends have semi-confronted me with my inability to be honest about how I feel about things sometimes. Like I'm hiding. And that really bothers me. I hate that I revert to that hiding from others. And a lot of it stems from a lack of confidence in who He has created me to be and where He has placed me for this season. I hate that I am not confident of His creation and His purpose. I think part of it stems for that perfectionist drive that I can't seem to shake but know it is far from attainable for me. Ugh. I want to be confident. I want to be honest. I want His light to be able to shine through me in that, whether I'm doing right or wrong. But if I am hiding and not allowing others to see that, that is a far worse thing, I feel. But it keeps me humble - one thing I pray for daily.

Okay, so that was a long and rambly post. I'm just pensive. Thinking things over and over. Allowing Him to sift my thoughts. Today I was reading in Proverbs and came to the part where it said that it talks about all mans' ways being laid out before Him. I like that. Its scary, but good. He works in that.

Well, I am off to church tonight. Have a blessed week, especially to all my fellow teachers who are going to greet their sweet/sometimes not-so-sweet ones as they file out of cars, buses and off the crosswalks. Love!

Hot days in July

2009-07-28T20:46:00.000-07:00

Hey friends (whether real or virtual)!

How are things? Summer life has been good. Hot but good. Htown has been blessed with some rain over the past few days, which while it is still muggy and hot, at least it is some much-needed moisture for our parched city!

Here's life these past few weeks:

1. Houston Project - Every year, my church does this city-wide missions event where we partner with churches around the city who are in low-income areas and help to support them and make connections within their communities. This is my 2nd year to participate and I loved it. Last year, I was the VBS coordinator for the site we were at, but this year I decided to take on a different kind of role and it was amazing. I served on the prayer team and got to spend each evening just praying over the church, the VBS classrooms, the community, etc. and getting to watch God move in big ways through that. I've been really pressed lately to step up my prayer life lately, so this was one way I could do that and oh my word, I know this, but HE IS FAITHFUL! Wow. On the last night of the week, I took on a role that I really wasn't expecting to take on, nor did I want to - I DROVE THE BUS! A little known secret about me is that I have commerical driver's license from my tour guide days at BU. Well, sometimes your friends leak your secrets and you end up driving enormous buses with really small engines on the streets of Houston. Eek! It was good though. Totally covered in prayer, I gave my tremendous anxiety about this to the Lord and He saw me through it safely and smoothly. Here is the picture proof below:

2. Small group - I've been co-leading a small group for some of the girls in my Bible study class and it has been such a good blessing. I just feel like over the weeks, we have begun to be real and deep and encouraging with each other and that is such a blessing. Women can be super mean to each other, so it is a refreshing blessing to have this and the material we are going through (Me, Myself and Lies by Jennifer Rothschild) is kicking my butt and make me wrestle and squirm with a lot of issues in my heart and mind. Its painful at times, but I love it!

3. Time with friends - This is the first time since high school that I haven't worked a summer. The rest and the freedom and the time to spend on relationships has been good. I've gotten to go do some really fun things, have spent maybe a little too much money, but I have thoroughly enjoyed myself. I didn't get done everything I wanted to for this summer, but oh well. I still have 2 weeks - haha! I need to start getting myself back into work mentality so I can be ready for the newness that awaits me for this year.

4. Living alone - still going okay. I kinda get spooked at times and get bored at times, but I like it overall. Just an adjustment. I still wish I had a backyard for Ella but I try to take her out a lot when I am home. I just need to be cautious not to be out too much, so she doesn't get lonely! Poor thing.

I think that is it for now. The Lord has been doing some neat things this summer and I love it. How has your summer been going?

Cooking ahead of time

2009-07-08T21:49:00.000-07:00

Attention all kitchen-masters/kitchen master wannabes!

So, in an attempt to make my life easier during the school year, I am looking for recipes that freeze well in single serving sizes. I would like to cook a lot this summer and then fill my freezer with homemade frozen dinners. I despise Lean Cuisines but enjoy the ease they bring to life, so why not do that for myself? I so far just have baked macaroni and cheese with veggies mixed in and thats good. Any ideas that are budget-friendly, healthy lifestyle-friendly and tasty? My macaroni and cheese is made with whole wheat noodles, low fat ingredients and frozen vegetables mixed in. Its a little bland, but I add a little salt of other flavoring and it isn't too bad. I will probably do some sort of soup (I have a really great recipe for chicken tortilla soup) soon as well. What are your ideas? I'm really trying to not eat out, but sandwiches are hard for me to do every night. And I love love love cooking, so I want to get that out now while I have the time to invest in it.

Anyways, let me know your ideas. Love you!

In the summertime..

2009-07-07T10:22:00.000-07:00

...it is hot!

You'd think growing up in one of the hottest desserts on earth, I'd be okay with our Houston summers, but goodness, it is awful! I am ready for winter to come back now. I love sweaters and blankets and all things cuddly. None of that is good in 105 degree heat. If electricity weren't so expensive, I would turn down my AC just so I could wear that stuff.

Anyways, here's what I have been up to this past month or so:

Moving into my new apartment and spending lots of money to get it set up - I had nothing besides my bedroom furniture and a papasan chair! I do like living by myself, but it does get a little boring at times, especially since I am not having TV, but I think it is a good thing.
Spending lots of time with favorite people - I don't always get to do this when I am working, but I am getting to do lunch dates and coffee and see movies and lay out and stay out way late and I love it.
Women's retreat in San Antonio - it was a blast! I love planning stuff like that and hope to do it again soon!
Working out - I'm semi-attempting to do Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred and its going okay when I do it. Its a tough 20 minutes! I'm not even joking. But I do mix it up with personal training, kickbox classes and volleyball with friends.
Reading - oh the love of my life! I miss it when I don't have time for it!
Small group - we are doing some exciting things in our women's small groups this summer and I just love how the Lord is moving and working in the lives of the women.

Here's what I hope to do for the rest of the summer:

Lesson plans and making materials for next year. I don't particularly want to, but know it will make my life much much easier starting out in August with my new campus and new sweet ones!
Sewing curtains - no progress has been made here, but I really want to do it!
Take one more road trip - not sure where or when, but I want to go! Maybe not sitting still for 1.5 hours on I-10 again, though. That wasn't fun.
Cooking and baking - done some, but want to do more! I love it!
Time with old friends - Jenny, Audrey, Mina, etc. I get really busy with my friends from church, but I really want to be intentional about spending time with some of my oldest and most precious friends!
Lose a little more weight - vain, but summer is the best time for me to do it because I really have no excuse for lack of time!
Astros games - I'm going to one tomorrow, but really want to go to more!
Finish all the projects I've previously started but never finished!

Okay, I'll do a more indepth post next time. How are your summers going? Love you!

Last Day of the First Year

2009-06-04T21:22:00.001-07:00

Oh my. Today at 12:40, I packed up my sweet little ones and put them on the bus for the very last time this year. We gave hugs. We said goodbye. I wished them well at their new school, which they just smiled sweetly and said "ok, Ms. Stewart", not really comprehending what the phrase "new school" means or even that they will not be coming to school tomorrow. Such is the life of a cognitively challenged child. I slowly walked back to my classroom full of like 50 boxes, trying not to cry (I didn't - so proud of me!).

Today was bittersweet. What a sense of accomplishment I am feeling for making it to the finish line of my first year of teaching. I am ready for summer. I am ready for rest. I am ready to do all those things on my to do list that I have been meaning to do since 10 months ago. I am ready to see friends that I have put off for lack of time.

But I was not ready to see these precious spirits who have slowly worked their way around my heart this past year get on that bus and go. And you know, I didn't become attached until right before I was told I wouldn't be getting them back next year. Even on the most horrible of days with them, I still love them and love investing in them and watching them grow and seeing the small successes that everyone else wouldn't consider anything noteworthy.

I wish I could post their pictures so you could see R, E, O, S and H's sweet faces. You know, a lot of teachers have a favorite, but I don't think I could have picked one this year. Each of them had their endearing and not-so-endearing qualities. They all were my favorites. I guess it is good I only had 5 students!

And you know, I never thought I would love teaching as much as I do. I NEVER saw myself as a teacher growing up, in college or even in grad school. I knew I loved my special kiddos, but teaching them was not what I saw for myself. I am so joyful and grateful that the Lord saw differently.

I'm excited about next year and the changes and the new bunch of sweet faces it brings. I am sad that this unexpected change of campuses occurred, but there are just some job hazards in special education that you can't do anything about. Change and movement is one of them and I unfortunately fell victim to it, but I guess its a lot easier now than it would be 2-3 years from now when I was even more attached to the kids.

Anyways, I just wanted to reflect for you a little on one of the biggest, hardest, most challenging, joyful years thus far in my 25 and some odd months of life.

Much love and look for more posts soon because posting more often is on that to do list from 10 months ago when I got myself into this!

Flooding and cute cartoons

2009-04-28T12:05:00.000-07:00

I thought this was super cute. I found it on a friend's blog. I unexpectedly am off work today because of major major flooding in my area. I've never seen anything like it before. I'm just waiting now to be able to get out of my neighborhood. My area is getting a lot of attention on the news because we seemed to have been hit the hardest. Yikes. You know its bad when all the area school districts have closed schools on a major TAKS testing day. Oi vey.

Well, go to www.awomansworld.com and make your own cute character. I thought this one was fairly close to me, except they didn't have any cute short curly hair...just one that looked like a fro/mop. So I am wearing straight hair.

Have a lovely day! More exciting blog posts coming soon...I've been storing up my thoughts!

I'm in love....

2009-04-03T19:22:00.000-07:00

....with China!

Sorry. That was a mean trick. I missed April Fool's so I thought I'd get a quick trick in.

Anyways, now that I have been back 2 weeks, I decided it was high time for an update. Leading up to this trip, life was just hard. Not neccessarily bad - just hard. The week before, I felt very heavily spiritually attacked and was kind of anxious going into up until about 2 days before the trip. However, once we got there that all left and wow...what a trip. The biggest thing I can say is that I never have observed the power of the Lord work in such a mighty way in such a concentrated amount of time. I just don't have the words to describe it. I loved my English students and getting to share life and Jesus with them. They were so eager and so hungry and it was just amazing. I can't wait to go back! And I'm not even playing. I was kind of waiting for the high to come down, but as it comes down, I still miss it terribly there. I was not ready to leave the Sunday we left. I could sit down and write all the details of the trip but that would be a tremendously long post and a lot to type. Maybe I'll do it bit by bit on here. But I feel like when I say I will write things on here, I never do it. So no promises. Just know that my heart is in China right now, not where I expected it to be.

Hope y'all are doing well! Blessings!

Battles

2009-03-01T15:19:00.000-08:00

So I just got back from my church singles retreat this weekend. Fun times were had - sunburns, softball, 80s prom dresses, sweet friends and the Holy Spirit. It doesn't get much better than that. Staying up til 2am on a nightly basis is not the norm for me, but I sucuumb to peer pressure far too easily and was up way way way late both nights there. And up by 7 or 7:30 each morning. Ugh. Bed time tonight will be roughly 8:30, if I make it that long. I have to sleep tonight or this week will be a nightmare!

Anyways, something thats been on my mind recently. Do you ever just feel like your life is kind of in battle mode on all fronts? I just have been fighting that feeling a lot lately. Even keeping my room clean is a battle of major proportions. Between the retreat, getting ready for the wedding I'm in this weekend, work and China, my room literally looks like a bomb went off in it. I hate it and it stresses me out, but the motivation to keep it clean is very low.

Work feels like a battle too. Its one thing after another. I feel like I am never quite doing anything right or I am always missing something that I should have known but no one mentioned to me. Every day I get emails stating, "Ms. Stewart, you need to take care of this." or "Ms. Stewart, you were supposed to do this." I get phone calls too. Its so frustrating to feel like you are working so hard for your students yet getting nowhere. I know without a doubt that this is where the Lord wants me right now, but it feels yuck right now.

Ministry is a battle right now. I just feel like I am never doing enough for the people I am supposed to be ministering too. I didn't feel worthy of this position when I was asked to do it and still don't feel like it, but for whatever reason, the Lord has chosen to use me here and now. I just wish I felt more confident in doing it. Not prideful. I still want to maintain a spirit of humility and servanthood. I just wish I felt like I knew more of what I was doing and more of a Godly woman to be able to do this job. I love it a lot, but it is hard.

Along those lines, relationships feel like a battle too. New ones. Old ones. I feel like I haven't had a deep conversation in weeks, something I crave. Depth is lacking and I don't like it. I don't know if it is I don't have the time to invest or others don't have the time or a combination of the both, but it is hurting. I was at the retreat this weekend, prime time for relational development and I just had this lack of desire to reach out and invest time in those relationships. I wanted to be lazy. I stuck around people I don't have to make much of an effort with because relating to them is easy. I felt ugly about that. I don't like when I'm like that. I was in hiding and reverting back to grounds that the Lord has given me victory in my life. Yuck.

I am leaving for China in 12 days and my previous excitement about that has kind of faded and I hate that. I don't want this amazing opportunity to fall in my battle category as well, but sadly it is. Maybe as the day draws nearer, I will feel more excited but right now the last minute details are eating at me. Yuck.

Lastly, contentment is a battle. Why can't I just be okay with God and where He has me and what He is doing? And go with the flow on it? Yes, I know I should always have a certain holy dissatisfaction with myself, but I should not have that with God. And that feels ugly too be discontent. He is enough - always has been always will be. Why can't I allow Him to convince me of that? Hasn't He done enough? He paid it all, after all.

So I'm ready for life to stop being such a battle. I just feel like I'm stuck in the mud and not moving anywhere and low on motivation to do so. Ew. Do y'all ever feel this way? Especially when you feel like your life is richly blessed and yet still struggle like this? Double ew.

Look alikes?

2009-02-23T18:56:00.000-08:00

Several people have told me like in the past week that I look like the actress Gillian Anderson (aka Scully from XFiles). One guy told me he was trying to decide if he should ask for my autograph...haha. What's your vote? Does she look like me? I hope this is a good thing!

Seriously...a month and a half??? What kind of blogger am I???

2009-02-16T17:52:00.001-08:00

Oh my friends. I am so sorry. I was telling Chelsea earlier today that I just love to write on my blog about my thoughts and updates in life and funny little stories and whatnot. However, if I don't update on a regular basis (like weekly), I get overwhelmed by the amount of information I have to share and just don't blog. So, from here on out, I will try to better and not let it lapse. Here's a look at the past month and a half or so...

* Started my second semester of teaching and despite being impossibly tired and overwhelmed by the building demands of my job, I still love it. I feel completely at peace that this is where the Lord would have me at this point in my life even though I never planned on being here. I feel a little more confident in knowing what I am doing and am really able to enjoy my students. I still struggle with feeling like there is so much more I could be doing with and for them, but realize I need to take things a day at a time, set my priorities for them and let those good but extra things come with time. Next year will be interesting though because my class size will increase significantly. I have 5 students right now and will 7-9 next year. For a classroom like mine, that is a significant increase and you never know what kinds of things those extra students will bring into the classroom. I am getting more because a Life Skills class on another campus is being closed by the district and my campus is the receiving school. I am very very nervous about this but kind of excited at the same time. At least I have really great job security - something which not a ton of people can say in today's economy.

* I bought a new car at the end of January! It is a blue 2009 Nissan Versa SL (I will post some pictures at the bottom of this post) and I really love it. I was going to wait a while to buy a new car, but just felt like now was a better time and some things were lining up so it made sense. I sold my Buick just today and will start making monthly payments on the new car in March. I feel like a grown up now. My mom even cried when I was buying my car - she told me she couldn't believe that one day I was in diapers and the next am buying a car on my own. Good grief. But I am excited. It is a wonderful car and it fits me and my needs very well. Now if only Ella would stop shedding and getting fur in it. Ugh.

*In March (over spring break), I will be going to China for a week to teach English. I am beyond excited! My friend, Huan (who grew up in China), is leading the trip and asked me a few months back to consider going. After a month of praying through it and going back and forth, I felt that it was somewhere the Lord was leading me. Several people from my Sunday Bible study are going with me and then some new friends from other Bible studies are coming. It is really neat how each person was brought to the team and how the Lord is knitting us together. I love it! A lot of people have asked me why I seem to be going/considering so many missions opportunities lately. Well, for one, my heart is one for overseas missions. I don't feel called to anything long term for the moment, but my heart is definitely passionate about what the Lord is doing around the world. Also, I would never go somewhere I didn't feel the Lord wanted me. I know this comes quickly after my trip to Guatemala, but you know, the Lord said yes, so did I. Lastly, I feel like the older I get, the less my opportunities to do something like this might be. I really regret in college not pursuing opportunities for missions and such over the summers. Well now I am at a point in my life where I am not being held accountable to a husband or kids and have some free reign over the decisions in my life. So I want to use this precious time the Lord has given me now to pursue those passions, so that if/when He brings me to those other points in my life, I won't look at this time with regret over missed opportunities.

*Ministry wise, I am very excited and love what the Lord is doing. I still am serving as the Women's Coordinator for my class and since January, have really been feeling settled into the role. Two of my close guy friends were appointed the co-directors of our class, so it allowed the men's coordinator and I to be freed of some of the responsibility we were carrying while without a director. I am getting to invest in the lives of these precious women and it just makes my heart incredibly happy. It is hard at times, but I love it. I still am humbled that the Lord would use me in this role, but am so thankful He is.

*I just have to share about Valentine's Day 2009. I was blown away. I didn't have a date - I had 14! Haha...let me explain. The men of our class put on a dinner for the ladies. We did not lift a finger! It was beautiful! They had candles and flowers and menus and everything set out for us. They served us our drinks, food, etc. After we ate (pretty good food, too...especially the cake they got!), they sat us down and spoke some words of thanks and appreciation to us as women. Then, two guys in our class who have amazing voices, sang us two songs, one of which they wrote for us! So precious (pretty sure they wouldn't like that I just used that word!)! It was so amazing. I have never met men in my life who are so passionately pursuing the Lord and have beautiful hearts of servants. I told them that they treated us ladies in a way that evening that we dream of when we are little girls. They made us feel appreciated, loved and treasured, something every woman desires. Many of us in the room had never had a Valentine's day and some of us have had it, but had been treated very badly by guys. So it was just refreshing, holy and amazing. I can't say enough about the evening. If you get a chance, go look on my facebook page at the pictures that my friend, Huan, took of the evening. They capture the sweetness of it very well. I just had to share about this amazing evening.

Okay, I think I will wrap up here and leave you with a few pictures. Love you!

^China team!

Not what I expected...

2009-01-02T13:57:00.000-08:00

Okay, so my next post was totally gonna be about Guatemala. And the one after that was going to be about some of the things the Lord is teaching me right now in life. And maybe a post about some goals/resolutions/ideas for the new year.

But as a lot of life goes, this post isn't what I expected to be making.

My mom is back in the hospital. On New Year's Eve, my dad called me in the morning and said they were taking my mom to the ER for shortness of breath. Oh, and I sincerely apologize now to any of my close sweet friends that are finding out like this. If you have ever had a medical emergency or anything in the family, you realize that sometimes it just isn't possible to call/text everyone and keep up. So its not that I didn't want to tell or didn't think you were close enough to tell. Its just life is crazy right now, so don't be too mad at me! Anyways, turns out the blood clots she had on her lungs in May came back. Yuck. Just as serious, just as life threatening. And just as scary.

I am not sure why and I am sure the Lord has His purpose, but again, He has saved my mom again. Most people who get this - pulmonary embolisms - don't even have a warning and die very suddenly. I have even had friends whose parents passed away from it. I am not sure how that makes me feel. Very mixed emotions. Grateful that I am not losing my mom, for sure. I have watched too many friends grieve over the loss of a parent taken too soon. Scared because who knows when He won't choose to let her live. I know my mom's health is horrendous so I'm kind of always on edge about her life anyways. I don't know. It was just a sobering way to spend the New Year.

So yeah. Just be praying. Pray that she continues to heal. She spent 2 days in the ICU and now they have moved her down to a regular room and are waiting for some level in her blood to hit 2.0. Then she can go home. She is breathing much better. So healing is happening. Pray that she will be motivated to care for herself. This time wasn't necessarily her fault, but its source comes from a preexisting condition that was. Pray that I am not bitter about her health. To be uncomfortably honest, I get very upset and bitter about my mom and her health. It is not a Godly attitude and something I struggle with a lot and need to surrender on almost a daily basis. Its hard watching someone literally kind of waste their life away and do nothing and care to do nothing about it. Especially when it has been a lot of your life. So you are seeing my weakness and vulnerability here, but I do need prayer in that area of my life.

Anyways. New Year's was fun. My parents told me to go out anyways. I went to the Rockets game and after party with my singles ministry at church. Pretty cool. Not so much a Rockets fan, but I had never been before, so it was interesting to see. Danced at the party. I love a good dance party! Ate at IHOP until 3:00a.m. I've never had really such a fun New Year's event with such good friends, so even though the circumstances in my life surrounding it were bad, it was a good break and distraction. My brother and his sweet girlfriend came too, so it was fun to spend the New Year with my baby brother!

Hope y'all are doing well and sweet blessings upon you for this exciting new year!

Merry Christmas 2008!

2008-12-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, sweet friends!

I know, I know - I am 2 days late. But hey - I love the Christmas season, so this is just my feeble attempt to make it last longer now that they have cut me off from my endless supply of Christmas music on the radio (which in my opinion is always the worst day of the year!).

This Christmas season has been different. I can't explain it - it just has. To start, I really had a hard time getting into the spirit of it all. I realize more now than ever what Christmas is all about the and the true impact and implications it has for my life. But I just couldn't get there. I dunno. I think work and life and everything else kinda was stressing me out and Christmas came way before I was ready for it. A little bit came finally on Christmas eve at my church's 11pm service, so that was good. I love the excitement and spirit that Christmastime brings, so I was a little sad that I just wasn't feeling it. All that to say, it still was a great Christmas and the rest and break that it has brought has been amazing. I've been sleeping 10-12 hours every night for the past 3 nights, so I am feeling really great, although a little tired from oversleeping. Weird how our bodies get tired from sleeping too much. I would like to know the physiology behind that. Must be something with messing with our circadian rhythms.

Anyways, I was very blessed this Christmas. I got some money from the grandmas, several giftcards, a nice study Bible and Mama Mia from my parents and brother and some other sweet gifts from friends. I also told my parents to save their money on me this Christmas to go towards missions in the coming year, so they will help finance my one or two trips I want to go on in 2009 (another post - I am very excited!).

2008 has been a very different year. Its had its unexpected highs and unexpected lows - but I just love what the Lord has done in my life this year. Seriously. Never have I felt the Lord's presence so closely in my life than I have this year and that continues to grow so I am excited beyond words about the years to come! Let me give a recap bullet style of some things that have happened in the past year.

Finding community - a little over a year ago, I walked into a Sunday evening class called Metrolink (now Mosaic) and never really left! I just can't even express to you what being a part of this authentic community of believers has meant in my life. The Lord is so faithful!
Deciding to teach - all through the spring I worked on my certification to teach special ed and now have finished my first semester of teaching it. The Lord brought me the perfect job at the perfect place at the perfect time. Best decision He has ever lead me to, though I never ever before in my life saw myself making it!
Mom's health - I won't go into too much detail as this is an extremely sensitive issue for me, but we had some scares this year including a collapse and rush to the emergency room in May, very close to the point of losing her. I am very glad we didn't lose her, but continue to pray for her and her health please!
Women's coordinator - in August/September, the women's coordinator of Mosaic asked if I would take over that position as she stepped down. Such a surprise and so humbling! I have been praying for 3 years to do something in women's ministry and the Lord just opened the door for me - how exciting is that?!?! I still don't feel entirely worthy of the position, but I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything. It has been a crazy, exhausting, growing and stretching 3-4 months, but so worth it. I can't wait to see what will happen in the coming year! I just love the women in our class and love ministering to them and connecting with them. So great! I could write a whole post or two on this one!
Guatemala - So amazing! A post is coming about this one very soon ( I PROMISE!), so I won't write any more on here.

Okay, I think that sums up some of the bigger things for the year. I could write a lot more, but we don't want to be here forever.

I hope you have been very blessed this Christmas and reminded of the Savior's love for us. So amazing that He humbled Himself to be born as a baby in a barn (sometimes the most beautiful things have the most humble beginnings!) and then died on a cross just because He loved us that very much. Beyond amazing and exciting - just inexpicable and unexpressable!

Love you!

I love to blog...

2008-12-14T13:16:00.000-08:00

I really do. But time does not allow me :0( I promise updates are coming soon because I have a lot share - including my fabulous adventures in Guatemala. So stay tuned! I will be making a return very soon :0)

And I'm off!

2008-11-22T05:56:00.000-08:00

Hello friends! Well, the day is here and I am off to Guatemala for a week! I could not be more excited!! Seriously. The Lord has blessed me so much with this opportunity and been so faithful up to this point, so I can't wait to see what He is going to do during the actual trip!

I sent an email out to several people last night regarding prayer requests and I thought I would list them here:

An open, teachable, flexible and most of all, humble heart for me as well as the rest of my team.

Health - my allergies have been acting up today (they like to do this for me everytime I travel...makes me feel just great...), so pray that they wouldn't get any worse!

Rest - this week has been long and hard and involved several late nights. Pray that even if there are only few hours for sleep, that those would be deep and refreshing.

The Lord would teach me marvelous things about Him! I am so excited about this trip and cannot wait to see what He has in store.

Team unity - I only know one other girl going on the trip well, so the rest of us are all new to each other and come from all walks of life. What a cool thing that is though and a beautiful cross section of the Body!

My classroom - Pray that I wouldn't worry about it when I am gone. There have been issues in there this week and I just feel slightly unsettled leaving it for 2 days. Pray that things would go smoothly, my aides would agree and get along and my kids would be on their best behavior. Those of you who are teachers can certainly identify with this!

Last but not least, pray that the Lord remove any other distractions from me. I want to be focused on His purpose and will completely during this week (as it should be every other week, but especially this one).

So yay! I hope you all have a blessed Thanksgiving holiday. I promise to post after the trip (I know the posting has been slacking as of late...lots to update you on but just no time!) with pictures and all. Love you mucho!

Oracion

2008-10-12T19:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I hope that is the right translation of the word "prayer" into Spanish. If not, my sweet friend Mimi will correct me because she is beautifully fluent in that language. Yay!

Anyways, I do not put that word into Spanish for no reason. Sweet friends, I have something I need prayer for.

A few months ago, I noticed that there was a trip to Guatemal in November over Thanksgiving break. My interest was peaked and I thought/prayed about going but kinda pushed it aside for various reasons. Below is an email I sent to the Missions Office Executive Assistant about tonight:

Tonight the Lord just brought me to my knees and I believe asked me to step out in faith and obedience and go on this trip if it is still plausible. I understand it is late in the game. But I just can't escape this pressing feeling on my heart about it (which is generally a good sign that the Lord is speaking to/teaching me something) and all my worldly excuses seem to pale in comparison no matter how much sense it makes.

So, like I said in my email, nothing about this makes sense. I will take a several hundred dollar dock in pay because I will be using days off before a holiday (they don't usually dock for days off - just ones that you take right before or after holidays). I have no funds to pay for this trip.

But God will provide. If He called me to it, He will see me through it. I have to stand on that truth.

But some things are in place that give me hope that things will be okay. I have to talk to my principal tomorrow about this matter because He has to approve the days off. One blessing in my life is that my principal is as far as a I can tell, a believer. I am actually in an early morning Bible study with him on Monday mornings with a few other staff at my school. He can't do much about the dock in pay, but he can approve the days.

So just be in prayer, my friends. Thats the biggest thing I need right now about this. Pray that my principal approves and that the funds somehow come in. I have full faith that He will provide for everything, but it is rather scary to put yourself out there like that. But thats the beautiful thing about faith.

Waiting

2008-10-11T16:09:00.000-07:00

We are all waiting for something.

A husband/marriage.

A child.

A job.

The salvation of a loved one.

Healing.

Restoration.

Freedom from debt.

The list goes on. I just got back from my church's women's retreat a couple of hours ago. What an amazing time of coming together with women of all ages and stages in the Body and worshipping together and studying Truth together. Beautiful. The name was "Power of a Word". The main speaker talked about how words affect us, the enemy's words, the words of Truth, our own words and the like. Simply amazing. I learned a lot.

But that is not what I wanted to blog about today sweet friends. There were 2 periods of breakout sessions with like 8 options. Each option had one word of what it was about. There was a Simplify one, a Satisfaction one, a Reflect one, etc. I went to the two called Waiting and Season. Women from our church were the speakers. The one called Waiting is the one that really struck me. The speaker was actually the Women's Associate for the singles ministry at my church, so I've recently been getting to know her as she is who I report to, seek guidance from, etc. in my leadership position. She is an amazing woman of Christ and I am so excited to get to know her more.

Anyways, what a word (no pun intended) she brought! And I would like to share some of what I gleamed from her talk with you.

One thing is that a better word for waiting (which can sometimes have a less than positive connotation in some realms) is divine delay. That really puts it in perspective for me. It is from Him, for Him and its purpose is to draw me into a more intimate relationship with my precious Creator. The delay points to His deity and is a beautiful invitation to walk more closely and deeply with Him. It is an invitation we can choose to accept or ignore.

It isn't easy at all but it really isn't an option. But its what we do with that option that truly makes the difference. This isn't the first thing we have waited for and it certainly won't be the last. So make use of this time because really, the life God has for you is now and to quote a beautiful hymn - "All I have needed thy hand has provided..." I don't need more. I just need to be still, allow Him to work in His wonderful ways right now and be willing to do what and go to where He calls me. This delay can only serve to strengthen our faith and what an amazing thing that is - truly a gift in our lives. The passage she used to illustrate these points in John 11:1-45 where Lazarus has died and Mary and Martha are grieved over Jesus' seemingly inactive posture towards the whole situation. But really He was about to do the pinacle of all miracles during His time on Earth and one of the last. One of the best things she said about the wait was this: If we can finally get to the place in which we trust God's timing, we will also get to the place in which we trust His methods. Another amazing quote in my notes is this: Faith is believing in advance that which only makes sense in reverse.

So cool. And my perspective on this matter is this: we have so many things we worry about in this life, why add one more thing to our pile of fruitless worrying? He is moving, has promised us He has moving and has been faithful thus far to show us that. So let us bow down at His feet, lay our fretting about these things we way for in His hands, and watch Him move and work and draw us even closer to His heart. That is truly what we seek to be anyways, right? Men and women after His own heart.

Lastly, I leave you with a quote from a book she used called The Beautiful Ache by Leigh McLeroy, which is next on my never ending reading list.

Because of His deep love for His children, He allowed them to wait in order that they might know Him in the fullnes of His character, the magnificence of His power and the depth of His love.

Birthday #25 and Other Things

2008-09-28T07:20:00.000-07:00

Hello friends! I planned to blog much earlier in the week, but life just kind of got in the way.

This week was one of the hardest I've had in a long time.

It started Monday, on my birthday, at about 5:30am. I was in the shower and heard my phone get a text message. I thought, "Oh! That's nice! Someone is sending me an early morning birthday wish." Well I got out of the shower, flipped my phone open and read what my message said. "Call as soon as you can. Ella needs to go to the vet." It was from my parents. Ella had been staying there because the fences at my house are down and my precious princess likes to run. So I called and they said she was crying in pain, shaking and couldn't jump up on things (which is abnormal for her - she is a kangaroo in dog's clothing). So my birthday started in tears and trying to figure out when I was going to take her to the vet in my already jam packed day.

So I went to work, all upset and wishing I hadn't gotten out of my bed this morning. Everyone was crazy at work because it was our first day back after or six day Hurricane Ike vacation (which I found out that we don't have to make up! woohoo!!). I asked my principal if I could take off a half day in the afternoon and very graciously, he said yes and told me they were my days anyways. Well I entered it into our sub system on the computer not really expecting to get a sub because subs don't like coming to our school because it is so far out from the rest of the district. A lot of subs don't like coming to Special Ed classrooms either, especially LIFE Skills. But I checked on the status of it 10 minutes later and someone had picked up the job. And as it turns out, she was fabulous! Sometimes the subs we get are AWFUL and should not be allowed to work with children in any capacity. So I left at noon and headed to my parents house. One nice thing was that my mom had time to take me to Chick-Fil-A for lunch before her doctor's appointment. So I ate lunch and then picked up Ella to take her to the vet. Poor baby. She was in so much pain. She was very good at the vet though. They determined that she probably had pulled a muscle in her back playing too much and sent me home with muscle relaxants and cortisone pills. That was a fun $200 trip to the vet (to be fair, half of it was the flea and tick medication I needed for her, so it was kind of my own doing). There went my birthday money. Ugh.

Well, I decided to bring Ella back to my house where it would be quiet and not much action. One unfortunate side effect of the cortisone pills is the increase thirst and increased need to pee. I've been limiting Ella's access to water (only giving her about a half a bowl every hour or so). And she has been peeing non stop everywhere! Sick! She's finally figured out that the towels in my room are where she is supposed to pee rather than on my shoes or directly on the hardwood floor. But then she has decided that even when I'm just in the next room, it is okay to pee and poo in the house still. So rather than telling me she has to go (which I take her every hour when I'm home!), she just goes. Argh.

Well on Tuesday, work was okay. Which was nice. My new kid has really started to adjust and had very few fits this week. However, when I got home from work on Tuesday, my power had gone off! What!?!? Now I know some people in Houston are still without power from Ike, but I had had power for a week! Its not supposed to go back off once you have it! Well, it turns out that the electricity people had taken everyone on the street down so they could get the people on our street without power the whole week up and running again. Unfortunately, I had a ton to do! Like go to the grocery store so I could eat. Like make a dessert for the next nights dinner meeting I was attending. Like do some work on my computer for work and for church. So I packed up my computer and headed to a friend's house so I could get at least one of the three done. Well, by the time I got home, power had fortunately been restored, but what a scare! I was moving back to my parents' house if it had gone on any longer!

Wednesday was also okay at work. I went to my dinner meeting (another girl who didn't have work covered dessert for me). That was fine. Until I got a phone call from my mom in the middle of it. She had had an MRI and other tests run earlier this week and still has some more next week. Without going into detail, my mom might be facing some pretty serious health issues in the near future. Just be praying for her and my family. Its a little scary. So that was another fun day.

Thursday, I got to work at 6:40am and left work at 6:40pm. They were having this parent's night for the general ed and other staff was required to stay and babysit the kids who came so parents could listen to the presentations in peace. Nice. It was a long day. My poor dog had to stay in my room for 12 hours. I felt horrible! Well, I grabbed dinner from Wendy's on the way home because as I said before, I hadn't been to the grocery store yet. And they gave me regular Coke instead of Diet Coke. Sick out! After dinner, I had to go to the grocery store. In the dark. Which I strongly dislike. Those are times I really get frustrated with being single. I just feel vulnerable and unprotected in situations like that. And the neighborhood I live in isn't neccessarily all bad, but there are some sketchy spots, so I just get nervous. After spending a lot of money at the grocery store, I came home and baked and made some Tzatziki (yummy Greek cucumber yogurt dip!) and crashed.

Friday was actually okay. It was early dismissal for the kids and they were really great with the schedule changes (sometimes schedule changes really make life difficult for my kids). We decorated some cookies for our cooking lab (both my birthday and one of my aids birthdays were this week so it was fitting) and they loved that and we had some extra recess which they really enjoyed and the weather has been fairly nice down here in Houston lately.

This weekend was okay. I had to work a lot yesterday on grades and other work things. But I got to bake yummy peanut butter cake (recipe that my grandma gave me - those are always good!) for my dinner meeting last night. Baking and cooking just relaxes me. I love it. I'll post that recipe

Today, I think I am relaxing a bit, working a bit, maybe walking Ella and then meeting my parents for lunch (sushi maybe - yum!). We also are going to get my birthday present. I finally decided what I wanted. So excited! Check it out!

I know you are jealous. Maybe if your nice to me, I will make you a cake with it!

So I guess its a good end to a not so good week. I would like a redo on my birthday week. And I still haven't celebrated with friends. Maybe next week.

But next week is a new week and God is still faithful. No doubt.

Hope y'all are doing well! Love you!

Dx: Cabin Fever!

2008-09-17T21:21:00.000-07:00

*Sorry for the blueness of the last post. I was in a funk. It is gone now. Sorry.

For those of you who know me well, you know that sitting still is not something I do very well. So the past few days have been hard for me. I am very blessed to be sitting in a house with power and water, I finally got gas in my car and did not have to wait in line (a small miracle in itself - for real!) and I have food to eat that isn't out of a can. And I don't have to work until Monday. Nice. So I decided that in my abundance of free time, I would help those who weren't as blessed as I have been this week. My heart breaks when I read the news online. I want to reach out. I want to be there. Well, my church was supposed to be a POD for FEMA, but that didn't happen, so the church doesn't need any volunteers at this point. And I can't just walk out on the streets and offer to help, so where do I go to help?

So back to nothing to do. I had a nice day of sleeping in, eating lunch at Red Robin with my dad, visiting with my long time buddy, Audrey, for hours at Starbucks (I got a Venti for the price of a Tall because they messed up my order and felt bad), running errands with Kate, eating Sonic for dinner (although my stomach is now thinking that that was not the brightest of ideas) and then watching One Night with the King (cheesy but excellent) with Kate and her bf. So I busied myself today. It was good. And come to think of it, all free! My dad got lunch, Audrey bought my coffee (and later a Diet Coke) because I picked her up and drove her around (poor thing had a tree branch smash her windshield) and my birthday is on Monday, and Kate bought my dinner. Very nice.

So what's on tap for tomorrow? Good question. Surprisingly (even to myself), I feel very motivated to run. Gasp! I can't explain it, but the weather is beautiful, the streets are too debris-filled to risk riding my bike and getting mulitple flats, and I have lots of pent up energy. I was going to go today, but caught in traffic for too long (another story). So I think I will wake up and try that (and try not to die!). I am itching to visit Target (with what money, you ask? I wish I had a good answer for that!) so I might venture over there. In the afternoon, I am contemplating driving to the thriving metropolis of Waco! My brother has been wanting me to come, so I figure while I have the rare free few days, why not? I am still contemplating. Ashley might come with me too because she has the same diagnoses I do. So that will be a fun little adventure if we decide to go. We will come back Friday if we go, so it won't be that long. Just enough to get us out of the house and in a city that is operating under normal conditions.

So yeah. That is my exciting post-Ike life.

Hope you are doing well! God bless!

Do you ever have those days...

2008-09-15T15:40:00.000-07:00

...where you just don't feel right?

Its one of those.

I get them from time to time. From out of nowhere. And looking at the blessings I am currently enjoying in my life, I shouldn't have them. I should be grateful that I have a family who loves and supports me, friends that speak truth into my life, a great new house with a great new roomate, a job I love most days, a house that isn't flattened by a powerful hurricane, and the list goes on. I shouldn't have blah days that I am whiny, frustrated and just ick to be around (I don't so much like being around myself on these days).

So where do they come from and why do I have them?

I wish I knew.

Maybe its boredom. But I had stuff to keep me busy today. But I stayed home because I just plain didn't want to. I could have helped cleaned up the church and fellowshipped with friends, but I stayed at my parents house in bed with my dog (Ella is another sweet blessing in my life - she just makes me happy). I just didn't feel like driving the half hour to church (maybe not the best idea anyways given the shortage on gas). I could have moved back to my house and helped my roomate fix up some things there. But I didn't. Ugh.

And to top it all off, I start reading blogs. And it seems that when people get married, it is time to start a blog about how happily married they are and on and on and on. I really am so excited for all my married friends and this new season of life they are entering into. Seriously. So precious. But sometimes, seeing their happiness and the companionship they have with their spouses makes it hard to be content with the season God has me in.

But oddly enough, right now, I have so much joy in where and what God has me doing right now. Love it.

I will be 25 next Monday. Wow. Did I really just type that? In the back of my mind, I still feel very much like a little girl playing grown up most of the time. Weird. I told my dad today that when I entered college, in my mind, I would have been married about 2-3 years ago and living a happily ever after life with my amazing husband. Interesting how we plan these "fantastic" lives in our minds and how far off the mark we can sometimes be.

But you know, as far off as I was, I really am glad I was far off. Yes, I struggle with contentment in my single-hood. But you know, if that is where God wants me, what a beautiful thing that is. For real.

Okay, so writing is therapeutic. Maybe I just needed to get that out. I'm sorry. I need to avoid that. But thanks for reading.

Well, tomorrow's post will hopefully be cheerier. Just one of those days...

Post-Ike Post

2008-09-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

Okay. Ike is over. Thank goodness! Our (as in my parent's - its where I am staying) power went out on Friday night and finally came back on for good about 10am this morning. We had a few flickers of power last night and thought we were in the clear but it was just some cruel teasing. We had water all throughout so I washed my hair in the sink yesterday and took a shower this morning. Bad situations are much better to deal with when you are clean.

We didn't have a ton of damage in our area. A lot of downed trees and road signs. About a 6 foot section of my parents' gutter came down. Our fence is leaning a little bit. Other houses in their neighborhood got a little worse with fences all the way down. But overall, not too bad compared to what it could have been. I think I will be going on a picture taking adventure here soon so you can see some of what I am talking about.

To entertain ourselves last night, we got a little creative. I had the bright idea of having a shadow puppet show/contest, but my mom is the only one who actually did it. Funny because she was the one most opposed to the idea, yet the only participant. Nice. We also turned on an oldies station and danced in the dark to things like the "YMCA" and put the flashlight on as a spotlight. We also ate way too many chocolate chip cookies and 100 cal packs. I don't want to see cookies or baked cheetos for a really long time. Hot dogs either.

Today, my dad and I drove around on a reconaissance mission to see what was open and who had power. Some places do, some don't. The McDonalds and Whataburgers were all open with ridiculously long lines coming out of them. People are desparate. HEB and Randalls were open too, but also very zoo-like. We came back and worked on a crossword puzzle and the lights miraculously came on. Yay! After enjoying the AC, lights, computer and other missed electrical appliances, we were hungry for lunch. We drove around. We saw Buffalo Wild Wings was open, but the line was out the door. I like that place, but not enough to wait for an hour to eat wings that make my stomach hurt. As we were driving by, I noticed one of my very favorite restaurants, Pei Wei was open! Yum! And there was no line. I'm not even kidding. So we enjoyed some Pad Thai and Dan Dan Noodles for lunch. We were going to try to drive up to my school, but the lights were all blinky and it was taking entirely too long, so we turned around. I was planning on attending church tonight for the one worship service they were having, but they cancelled it. Boo.

So for now, I will be staying at my parent's house until water and lights are returned to my house. Work is cancelled for at least tomorrow if not longer, so I will find more exciting ways to entertain myself tomorrow. There is a curfew in the city of Houston all this week from 9pm-6am every night, so I won't be going out much. Even though my parents don't live in Houston, all my friends and activities are based there, so I probably won't get to see them all that much. Boo. But life will return to normal before we know it. So thats something to look forward to. Yay!

Anyways, I may post again today, because as you can probably guess, I am a tad bit bored and have a bad case of cabin fever.

God bless!

Despite Their Fears

2008-09-12T17:13:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know. 2 posts in one day. But there isn't a whole lot else to do, so why not blog.

Anyways, I've recently had a passion ignited for reading the writings of Old Testament prophets. I just started Ezra (I read Nahum and Zephaniah earlier this month) and found this amazing verse that really just spoke to my greatest struggle in life....fear.

Despite their fear of the peoples around them, they built the altar on its foundation and sacrificed burnt offerings on it to the LORD, both the morning and evening sacrifices.
~Ezra 3:3~

To give you some background, the Israelites have just returned from exile. They are adjusting to life back in their homeland.

They are in a place where old memories of hurt, suffering, pain and bondage abound. They are surrounded by people they don't trust and feel threatened by them. And justifiably so.

Yet, despite all of that, they still praise and honor their God by building an altar and sacrificing offerings to Him. And both in the morning and at night. They began their day and ended their day turning their hearts to the Lord.

What a testament of faith in action the Israelites have provided for us in this instance.

I know for me, fear is often the single greatest thing that keeps me from obedience to God as well as intimacy with Him. I have all these pent up fears of being hurt and wounded and allow those fears to paralyze me and prevent me from moving forward.

Because we are human, we will have fear. But it is when we allow that fear to control our lives that it becomes a problem.

We need to be honoring and praising God at all times, no matter our situation or circumstance. We need to continually be offering sacrifices to Him. Now times have changed drastically since the days of the Israelites, but the concept is still the same.

Anyways, I just wanted to share this gem of a passage with you all. I know I am not the only one who battles fear (especially of people) on a daily basis. When we turn it all back to Him and praise His name, He can do wonderful and amazing things in our lives. Don't allow a selfish thing like fear keep you from Him and Him from you.

God bless!

ABCDEFGH Ike

2008-09-12T10:06:00.000-07:00

So we've gotten through 8 letters of the alphabet without a hurricane turning towards Houston. We had a couple of little scares, but nothing to get excited about besides few drops of rain. Well, now Ike is kind of on a direct path for us and we are all hunkering down. Bottles of water, canned foods (a lot of which no one wants to eat but we have anyways), candles, flashlights, etc. abound. Everyone is all panicky. I can't decide if I am or not. Everyone seems to get all worked up about these things. I think I have decided to worry about it when something happens.

So far I am just sitting here with a much needed day off (its been a rather difficult week at work with the addition of a new, fairly difficult student to my class), and honestly kind of bored at my parents house. My friends are all hanging out and that sounds fun, but I guess if something were to really happen, I would much rather be with my family. I love my parents dearly, but sitting around all day with not much to do just isn't that exciting. I might even take a nap soon even though I slept 9 hours last night.

Anyways. Just be in prayer for Houston, Galveston and the surrounding areas no matter what happens. I shall post after the storm passes. And maybe even a few exciting updates/thoughts on life.

God bless!

All Things New

2008-08-23T15:45:00.000-07:00

So it has been way long since I've written on this thing. Oh well. Life has been way to crazy.

Well, I think I am entering into a season of newness. Let me tell you about the exciting new things God is doing in my life!

New Job!
As most of you know, I have just started a new job. I am so blessed to be at the school I am at doing the job I am doing. My principal and co-workers are simply wonderful and have been so supportive and encouraging. My kids come Monday (3 precious little boys!) My to do list is about 10 miles long and makes my head spin, but I am so excited for this year. I realize it is going to be hard, that I will be tired and not every day is going to be great, but nonetheless I take great joy in knowing that is exactly where God wants me at this point in my life and nothing really gets more exciting than that.

New House!
I am moving out of my parents' house next week (I think - It is still up in the air). A girl in my Sunday School class bought a house earlier this summer and has asked me to move in with her and has offered me an unbeatable deal on rent and bills. It will be closer to work, closer to church and closer into Houston where all my friends live. I haven't had roomates in a year, so I am so excited to get to live iwth girls again. Ella is excited because she will have a HUGE backyard and a cat friend to play with.

New Role!
I can't say a whole lot on this topic because nothing is official quite yet, but over the next month, I will probably be transitioning into a new leadership role in my Sunday School class. It involves an area of ministry that I am way passionate about and have wanted to do for several years now. I feel completely inadequate for it but am so honored and blessed to get the chance to do it. I'll let you know more when everything is official.

New Bridesmaid!
My sweet friend Mina got engaged a couple of weeks ago and has honored me with the request of being one of her three bridesmaids. So excited! She is kind of on the fast track to the wedding as she is getting married in January so tomorrow I get to go to eat lunch with her and the other bridesmaids and get measured for our dresses. They are going to be a rich blue/turquoise color which I think is gorgeous and I am way excited because we get to pick our own style of dress. This makes me very happy because as pretty as strapless dresses are, I am very uncomfortable in them, so I will get to wear some kind of spaghetti strap/sleeveless dress and not be so concerned about how my dress is fitting or falling down. Yay!

New Boy!
Haha...joking. You got excited there for a second, didn't ya'? Believe me, no one will be more excited than me the day I get to write about a boy and it isn't a joke. :0)

Okay, that is it for today. I am going to shower and then go out to dinner with mi padres for Mexican food and margaritas! Yum! Be praying for me on Monday as my kids come on Monday. I am way nervous.

Love you and God bless!

Random Ramblings

2008-08-04T21:19:00.001-07:00

I love to write on my blog. But life gets in the way of that love. That's okay. Life is crazy and overwhelming and a little frustrating right now but nonetheless, very blessed. Anyways, here's some random things I have to share.

A friend of my dad's found this article in the Chronicle earlier this week: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/headline/world/5918603.html I really just love the land of my birth and all it's quirks and idiosyncrasies. The things they come up with there never cease to amaze me.

This girl named Jemma Leech (she is from Wales - how cool is that?!?!) is in my dance class this week. She's brilliant. Like think Stephen Hawking. Here's a link to an article about her and some of her brilliant writing: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/5658069.html I feel really stupid next to her! Sad thing is that since I teach dance/movement, her involvement in my class is fairly limited at best. Anyways, this kid is amazing and I'm pretty sure she will be famous one day.

A hurricane named Edouard (weird name for a Texas hurricane/tropical storm) is on its way to Houston tomorrow morning. My mom made me go to the store with her and grab insane amounts of water, canned goods and other non-perishables. I think everyone is getting all worked up, but oh well - I don't have to go to work tomorrow because of it! I'm trying to decide what to do with my day tomorrow besides sleep. Maybe a good post about an awesome conversation I had last week with some friends from church. I think you will like it.

Real work starts in a week! So nervous but soooooo excited!

Hope this finds you well! God bless!

Interesting tid bit...

2008-07-24T19:47:00.001-07:00

So I opened up my email this afternoon to read about this news:

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/5905981.html

Very interesting. I'll be interested in seeing where it all goes from here.

And don't read the comments. People say HORRIBLE and untrue things about my beloved BU. It may not be perfect or even the best, but I loved it. And I think it is silly when people critcize things they know absolutely 0 about. I guess some people feel like they are entitled to an opinion about everything.

Anyways, just thought I'd share.

4 seconds of fame

2008-07-23T13:18:00.000-07:00

So you know how they say that everyone has their 15 minutes of fame? Well I am four seconds into that. So I have 14 minutes and 56 seconds left.

I made the news here in Houston the other day! Well not me really, but the place I am working at this summer. One of our local news stations has this thing called Education Station and goes around featuring different places and stories around Houston that relate to education. Anyways, I just wanted to share the video with you so you can see me in all my glory...haha

Hint: I am at the very end of the story teaching hula dancing to 5 little girls and a lot of teenage volunteers. Yeah. My famous moment was me hula dancing. Nice. That's how I always saw it happening.

http://www.click2houston.com/education/16843911/detail.html

Enjoy!

PRAY!

2008-07-14T19:32:00.000-07:00

So, I was working on a recap of Houston Project, but this post simply couldn't wait any longer.

This is a picture of my friend, Jenni, and I (pardon the attractive helmets - we were about to go horseback riding in the mountains of Colorado). Some of you may know her and some of you may not. She and I went to Baylor together, were in KXA together and then when I moved to Denton, she lived about 5 minutes away from me with her parents so we became close during the time I lived in Denton.

Anyways, this girl is way precious. I mean just a sweet, gentle spirit, who speaks truth into the lives of others and is about as authentic and genuine as they come. Unfortunately, after I moved last year, her and I have not really spoken as she has a crazy work schedule and I can sometimes be horrible at keeping in touch.

Moving on. I got the saddest phone call yesterday from a friend of both of ours from Baylor. Jenni has 2 brothers and 1 sister, all of whom she is very very close to. Her oldest brother, Jason, who would have been 26 yesterday, was killed in a horrible horrible wreck in DFW on Friday afternoon. (Here's a link to the news report/tribute on it: http://cbs11tv.com/local/jason.powell.remembered.2.770336.html)

Not only were his parents and siblings left behind, but his precious wife (who I had the privilege of meeting both of them once last year) and their 5 month old baby boy.

Yeah.

I don't even have any more words to write. It is so tragic. And this is not the first time I have watched someone lose an older brother to a horrible car wreck. If you remember, my roomate from sophomore and junior years at college lost her brother to a car wreck. And this is not the first time this year that I have watched a friend lose a loved one. My heart just aches for Jenni and all of these people in an indescribable way. And it hurts so much knowing I can do nothing for them.

Anyways, just be praying for their family that they would feel the peace and love and comfort that only comes from Christ. They are all Christians and love Jesus passionately. Pray that there are people there to love on them, hold them up and speak truth to them even in their darkest hours.

Anyways, just wanted to put that out there. Thanks!

Painting Pictures of Egypt

2008-06-30T07:23:00.000-07:00

Painting Pictures of Egypt
by Sarah Groves

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know

BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

So I usually don't like putting song lyrics up here. But this was sung for us last night at church at our wonderful Pastor's request because it directly applies (and is actually inspired by) what we are talking about in church now as we walk through Exodus.

I can't even begin to explain to you how much this song is about my life and where I've been and where I'm going. And the faulty mindset that this song so aptly describes about God moving us. I'm not much of a crier most of the time, but as this song was sung for us last night, my eyes just filled with tears because I knew I have been exactly where those Israelites were in their thought patterns. I think I might have sobbed had I not been holding it together because I wasn't able to sit by my girlfriends last night and was sitting next to a really cute guy (I know him, but not super well - certainly not well enough to sob in front of).

Anyways, just wanted to share how the Lord spoke to my heart as of late. Here's a link to the youtube video of this song...I promise it won't be a waste of your time to listen to it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSXciv06218&feature=related

Remembering the Lettuce Wrap

2008-06-27T12:55:00.000-07:00

Today, my mom and I decided to eat lunch at Chili's. Her and I are both attempting to lose weight with Weight Watchers and although Chili's might not seem like a good place to go for losing weight, it has salads that we both like and fit in our diet plans. My salad happens to be lettuce wraps and I have been eating them for years. Well when I opened my menu (even though I know what I am going to get, I still like to look at the menu...weird, I know), I couldn't find my beloved lettuce wraps anywhere.

When our waitress came up, I asked her where the lettuce wraps were. She told me that they are taking them off the menus! The horror! However, she said it was a recent change and that they might still have the ingredients to make them if I wanted them. They did, so today, I enjoyed my very last lettuce wraps.

Now this might seem like a silly thing to blog about, but you have to know that if you have ever dieted and eaten out, you know that it is hard to find things beside dry grilled chicken that fit within your diet plan. Lettuce wraps were one of those non-threatening, guilt free items that I truly enjoyed and didn't feel like I was eating diet food when I ate them. And they were at one of my favorite restaurants. But apparently, not enough people shared my love for them and the lettuce was going bad, therefore making Chili's lose money.

And I like to blog about silly random things, so this fit in perfectly. Join with me as we say adios to the lettuce wraps!

And a more serious post is on it's way...not sure what it will be about, but I have a lot of thoughts swimming around in my head, so one of those thoughts will eventually make its way onto the pages of my blog.

God bless!

Your Thoughts Please...

2008-06-24T20:04:00.000-07:00

I love to blog stalk. Not gonna lie. I love to read about lives I know little or nothing about. I came across this blog. This girl recently got married, but has sensitivity for those of us who are still waiting for a God-fearing man to walk into our lives and sweep us off our feet. I found this quote on her blog today in a post:

“Why do we pray for women who want to have children, but can’t or haven’t yet, to have open wombs. But for women who want to be married, we pray that they would be content in their singleness. Why don’t we pray that God would bring them a man of God and start their family?”

It was actually a quote from a friend of hers, but she was relaying the conversation.

What are y'alls thoughts? I'm not sure how I feel about it. I want to agree with it because as most of you know, getting married is a deep desire of my heart. Just like those women who are having difficulty conceiving have a deep desire in their heart to have children and be a mother.

So why do we ask the single women to be content in their singlehood but don't ask the married but childless women to be content in their station as life as well? Isn't that somewhat of a double standard?

However, shouldn't we be praying for peace and contenment wherever we are at, no matter the pain we sometimes feel in any of those situations? They are different kinds of hurts, but hurts all the same. I don't know. Since I've never experienced the inability to conceive or lost a baby to a miscarriage, disease or whatever the case may be, I can't really comment on it. But I can comment on the singlehood. It hurts sometimes. Sometimes, the hurt is more than sometimes - it is a lot of the time. It depends on the day.

Anyways. Let me know what you think. Some of you are married and aren't thinking about children. Some of you are married and have children or will very soon. Some of you are in my exact position. I really do want to hear your thoughts.

God bless!

Everybody Dance Now!

2008-06-18T20:03:00.000-07:00

Hello all! My new job and various activities outside of work have kept me so busy that I just simply have not had the time to visit blog land to update.

For those that don't know, I have spent the past week and a half teaching dance/creative movement/physical fitness at a nonprofit organization that exposes children with disabilities to performing and visual arts. Whoever thought I had the credentials for this job must have been crazy because I spend most of my days wondering how I got this job and why they pay me to do it. I don't feel like I know what I am doing but I am slowly learning. Too bad I only have 4 more weeks of camp to get it right. I'll probably get it right the last week. Anyways.

So yeah. I definitely can tell I was meant to be an elementary teacher. All (well, let's be honest - some/most) of the activities I plan work great with my younger classes (I have 4). They get into it and I am able to fill the whole hour of class without too many lapses in time with nothing to do except go crazy and run around my smallish dance room. However, my older classes (ages 12-19) look at me as if I am crazy half the time and just stare at me. What on earth am I going to do with them? All they want to do is play volleyball. And that is definitely not what I am being paid for. I tried Little Sally Walker with them today and they stared at me like I had asked them to run around naked. Big time failure. So anyone have any ideas? Seriously. I feel like I am dying in that class. And not only that - the girl who this organization was started for is a volunteer in my class and reports to all my bosses what is happening and which teachers she likes and does not like and what she thinks they should be doing (she is 15 and somewhat thinks she runs the place - sweet girl, just kind of a big head). Today she told our Artistic Director that she should fire the music teacher (who is great IMO) who has been teaching at the organization faithfully for like 6 or 7 years. Geesh.

Anyways, enough about work. I must sleep now and pray that tomorrow is not as big of a failure as today was (every class went fairly poorly). Outside of work, I have just been getting ready for my real job that starts in August, doing church stuff, trying to have a social life before it ends in August and my real job consumes me and just hanging out with the family.

Next post should be more interesting. Seriously, if you have any ideas for any of my age groups (I have classes from ages 5 all the way up to 19), please please please comment. I've done a lot so far but don't want to get in a rut just doing the same things over and over (especially because a lot of the kids are repeats).

God bless!

Personal Training

2008-06-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

You know, I used to think that personal training was only for wealthy suburban women who had way too much time on their hands and were overly invested in their looks and appearances.

However, my skepticism has slowly faded and I now have joined the ranks of those who have a personal trainer.

I have several reasons that I decided to do this. One, I really just needed the accountability and focus that personal training provides. Yes, I could have found this in a friend or something, but all my friends live in other areas of town and it would be fairly difficult to coordinate schedules, work out places and times. I work out with my dad a lot, but he is really really fit and motivated to be so, so it is hard to compare to him when you lack the same zeal for working out that he has. Also, his schedule and my schedule often clash, so being consistent would be hard.

I really just feel that doing this now is a wise investment for my future. The older I get, the harder it will become to get back in shape, so why not set a good pattern and develop positive lifestyle habits early on? They will teach me how to safely and effectively exercise my body and muscles and I can take those recommendations and such with me and carry them even after my period of personal training is over. Also, if I take care of myself, I will be healthy for my future husband, children and so forth so that I can care for them and give to them the best I can. I don't want to take away from them because I am bogged down with health problems that I could have prevented by a healthy lifestyle and good choices.

Also, honestly, I want to lose some weight (15-20 lbs.) and look good. I know that is silly and somewhat vain, but seriously, what girl doesn't want to look her best? I have the rest of my life to be chunky, so if it is attainable to look decent now, why not try? I probably will be curvy/a little plump later in life because every woman in my family is and struggles to no avail with a sluggish metabolism.

So there you have it. Personal training is hard for me and sometimes just flat out miserable, but I keep reminding myself how good it is for my body and of all the reasons I listed above.

I also know I am not the only girl doing this. Several girls in my Bible study class are doing this as well and several more have expressed interest. So at least I am in good company.

God bless!

The Post with ADD

2008-06-04T19:25:00.000-07:00

Since I have been not so diligent in my posting lately, I now present you with a post about a million things that is all over the place. So hang in there...

Marjie's Engagement (and everyone else in the world)
My sweet cousin got engaged. Her Australian fiance (hot accent!) proposed to her on an island in Honduras while on a trip with friends. How great is that!?! Anyways, so excited and I will have my dancing shoes ready for next May! (Don't worry, Paul - she told me it would the end of May, so I should be able to come to your wedding!)

Summer Job
So, I don't know if I mentioned it before, but God blessed me with a really amazing summer job. It is at this local non profit organization that provides performing and visual arts education to children with disabilities, illnesses and who are economically disadvantaged. Every summer, they run 6 weeks of day camp (2 weeks in June, 3 weeks in July and 1 week in August). I originally applied just to be a teacher's aide in their dance/creative movement class, but they shocked me when they asked me to be the actual teaching artist in there! So I get to make up all the dances, activities, etc. for all these sweet kids that are so dear to my heart. I also didn't expect to make much money at all since it is an npo, but I asked my salary after being hired and I had to ask them to repeat it when they told me - $25.00 per hour! Holy moly. That's almost as much as I will be making teaching full time next year. I am a little overwhelmed and feeling inadequate for this position, but am super excited and have really been getting into my lesson planning - I already have 2 weeks done!

Missions
I desparately wanted to go on a missions trip this summer. I was certain that was what God wanted out of me. But, as usual, His ways are bigger and greater than my ways (PTL for that - amen!) and I have just felt this really strong "NO" being spoken to my heart for this summer. I was very disappointed. I wanted to go to Cuba. I wanted to go to Kenya. However, as soon as I made a movement towards one or the other, I just felt this deeply unsettling feeling in my hear that I couldn't shake. So I said no. Interestingly enough, as soon as I did that, God dropped an unexpected but exciting opportunity in my lap. Every year, my church does this 5 day project at different sites around the city, partnering with local churches located in poorer neighborhoods and helping them to connect with the neighborhood and minister to those living there. Well, I ended up being asked to be the VBS coordinator for our site. VBS is the thing that everything else that is going on centers around, as I understand it (that's what they told me anyways). So yeah. Again, overwhelmed and feeling inadequate, but am so so so excited about this opportunity! So even though I don't get to serve overseas, I get to serve in my own city to people who are in desparate situations and desparately need the love of Jesus in their lives. I think I underestimate the importance and neccessity of stateside missions, so I think in my trying to serve and teach these precious little ones, they will teach me even more.

Mom's Health
Many have asked for an update on her, so here it is. She is actually doing pretty well. She went to see one of her doctors yesterday and he told her that he never would have guessed that she had been through what she had been through by the way she looked and stuff. Anyways, when she was discharged from the hospital, she was put on home oxgen for 24 hours a day. Which meant we tugged around oxygen tanks anytime we went out and the machine was always running when we were at home (however, it actually kind of has a calming sound - like a fan would - it helped my dad sleep!). On Monday, she went to the pulmonologist and he told her that she could be oxygen free! Yay! So things are looking up. She will have weekly appointments and blood tests for about the next 6 months, but that isn't that bad. So thanks for your prayers - they were definitely felt in a difficult and scary situation. Just pray that she starts and continues to take better care of herself than she has been in the past few years.

Ella
Ella is doing well. Yesterday, she ate 5 peanut butter chocolate chip cookies and part of a peanut butter cake. I think she was miffed that I had been gone all day and not playing with her. That is the only time she counter surfs - that stuff had been sitting up there for a week untouched by her. She is very excited about a new addition to the family soon. My parents are adopting a golden retriever very soon. His name is Lance (after Berkman and Armstrong - two family favorites). He is currently staying at his foster parents' home because he is undergoing heartworm treatment (which requires much rest and quietness - not possible when living with Ella!) and will be having his "surgery" on Friday. Poor guy. Anyways, he should be here in about 2-3 weeks, so Ella is very excited to have a friend again! I think she misses Gibson a lot.

Okay, I think I have tortured you enough for today. I will update again and try to get the Japan pictures up eventually. Sorry for the delay. Love you all! God bless!

Breaking the Ice

2008-05-31T15:14:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago at Bible study, we had an ice breaker question sort of thing. We have one every time, but I really liked this one. I like ice breaker questions in general, but this was one I thought would translate well to a blog post. Here's the question(s):

What has changed about you in the past year?
What has not changed about you in the past year?
What would you like to see change in you in the next year?

I had some answers that night but had to keep it pretty short since everyone in the room had to answer. But lucky you gets to read more of my thoughts on here. Yay.

What has changed about you in the past year?
- I live in Houston now. I lived in Denton a year ago.
- I was still in grad school a year ago and now I am finished.
- I did not want to be a special ed teacher last year, and now I can't wait to start!
- I had glasses I hated and hardly wore and now I have glasses I like and wear regularly.
- I went to The Village Church and loved it but was not involved. Now I go to HFBC and love it and am getting very involved.
- I lived with Lauren and Ashley last year. Now I live with my parents.
- I did not spend regular time in the Word and now I am doing pretty well at that.

What has not changed about you in the past year?
- I still have the same natural, untreated hair that I have always had.
- I still love kids with special needs.
- I still have a passion for missions and for women's ministry.
- I still have my sweet girl Ella!
- I weigh about the same.
- I still love wearing skirts this time of year - not only is it much cooler, but I feel pretty and feminine.
- I am still single - however, I am much more okay with it now than I was a year ago.
- I still love to travel.

What would you like to see change in you in the next year?
- An ever increasing passion for and intimacy with the Lord.
- An opportunity to go on an overseas missions trip - China maybe?
- Lose about 20 pounds (I signed up for personal training today! More on my decision to do that in another post)
- Investing time in one or two things at church/in the community.
- Develop even deeper and Godly relationships with those around.
- This may be to hopeful, but go on a date!?!? Hehe...we shall see.
- More balance in my life.
- Finishing a century bike ride (100 miles - right now my tops is about 60, I think).

Anyways, there is much more I could put on here, but I will leave you with a very applicable verse. God bless!

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. ~Hebrews 13:8~

Isn't it great that while we are changing, our sweet Jesus does not?

Today, we have a guest blogger!

2008-05-29T07:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I figured you might enjoy hearing from someone other than me for once. So, today, we have a very special guest blogger. Get excited!

Today's very special guest blogger is....

ELLA!

Yes, it is my sweet pup (and I do realize this makes me slightly crazy). She is going to tell you about her afternoon at the Bark Park! (thanks Ash, Gibson and Riley for telling us about it!)

-------------------------------------------------------

Hello, friends (both furry and not). In case you haven't heard my mama talk about me incessantly, my name is Ella and I am the princess. I am very cute and just the sweetest thing you will ever meet. And perfect in every way. I am also very humble.

Anyways, on Sunday, my mama and grandpa took me to the best place ever - the Bark Park! It was like Disney World for dogs. I got to run around this great place off my leash, not listen to my mom when she wanted me to do something and meet lots of other doggie friends. I have some pictures to share with you to show about my fun afternoon.

Enjoying some swimming time. I normally don't swim, but since it was hot, I got in a few times. But I didn't dare get my head or the top of my back or tail wet.

Enjoying some time in the trees watching the other dogs, sniffing and being off the leash!

Playing with new friends in the mud! I love mud. My mom does not. Something about it getting all in my white fur. Eh.

So that was my fabulous day! I hope my mama takes me again really soon!

----------------------------------------------------

Well, I hope you enjoyed that little treat. She is precious. I love her. As if you haven't heard me say that enough.

Anyways, I have a bunch of topics to write about that will be coming soon. Some of those include bikinis, Esther, the early church, my summer job, Japan pictures (probably the next post), anniversaries, singlehood and other various topics. Hope you are doing well!

God bless!

PS - Sorry the alignment of pics is off. I have a really hard time with the formatting of this thing!

What a week...

2008-05-25T07:53:00.000-07:00

Well, in the best news yet, my mom came home on Friday afternoon! She came home with her very own oxygen tank too because her oxygen saturation levels were not quite where they wanted them (hers were reading about 85% and they want them at least at 92%). But otherwise, she is doing pretty well. We even took her out for thai food on Friday night so she could have a decent meal (although, surprisingly, the hospital food wasn't too intolerable). I actually have been gone the past 24 hours on a women's retreat for my Sunday school class, but she says she is feeling good and my mom and dad even had a couple outings yesterday with oxygen tank in tow. The next few weeks and months will involve much follow up with doctors, blood tests and what not, but things are looking good. :0)

I am exhausted from everything this week! I was supposed to go to church and lunch this morning (our evening class and service got cancelled this weekend because of Memorial Day) with some friends and am supposed to go to a volleyball/movie/cookout tomorrow with friends, but I may just stay close to home and enjoy some time with the Lord and some quietness. I've been running nonstop since last Tuesday, so I think some time out is necessary.

Anyways, hope y'all are doing well. Love you and God bless!

News that is Bueno!

2008-05-22T15:42:00.000-07:00

Well, the doc came and talked to my mom this morning and gave her some good news! There is some level in her blood that has to be between 2.0 and 3.0 and right now it is sitting at 1.7. So, they expect it to get there tomorrow or the next day. And when that happens, she gets to go home! Yay! They also told her, that the dangerous part had passed and things are on the upside now.

A couple things to pray for though. One is that she would take good care of herself with the treatment regimen they are giving her and with other medical issues that she already had before all of this. Also, they found a nodule on her thyroid and in a while (like a few months), she will have to have it biopsied to see if it is malignant (cancerous). However, if thyroid cancer is caught early enough, it is one of the "better" ones to get because it is one of the easiest to treat. Lastly, she has to do an outpatient sleep study to see if she has sleep apnea (where she stops breathing intermittently at night). If she does in fact have it (which she probably does), she will have to wear a CPAP machine (oxygen mask) at night and she is kind of scared of it as she is claustrophobic. So just pray for those things that they would be resolved and treatments would go well.

Thanks friends! Love you all!

Regular Room!

2008-05-22T06:24:00.000-07:00

So, right after I updated yesterday, they moved my mom to a regular room. Very good news! I moved down there with her and it is a pretty good set up they have there. It's a double room, but her roomie doesn't seem to bad. She has a TV, which is an improvement over no entertainment whatsoever in the ICU. She also can order food when she gets hungry at meal times and has a small list to choose from rather than being surprised every time. Also, I get full reception on my cell phone in her new room so I will be able to answer and make calls from there.

Thank you so much to those of you who have called, left messages, facebooked, etc. with your encouraging words and prayers. I haven't had a chance to respond to everyone, but am trying. Anyways, I'll keep you posted on the latest. Love you!

Update

2008-05-21T14:54:00.001-07:00

Hey sweet friends! Here is just a quick update on my mom.

She is doing okay and in good spirits. She is still in ICU, but maybe today or tomorrow might be able to move to a regular room. Last night, they took her off the face mask for oxygen and put her on a nasal cannula (the tube under the nose) which means improvement because it is a little less oxygen than she needed before. They have been running various tests (blood, echocardiogram, thyroid sonogram, etc.) on her all day. Otherwise, she has just been talking to us, sleeping and whatnot. She loves her nurses. So far she has had two male nurses - Noel and Jimmy - and has been pleased with both of them.

Anyways, I must get off the computer because it is a public one. Keep on praying. Love you!

PS - I need to decide if I want to go to Kenya in July on a missions trip and need to decide by Friday. Just pray that I will be able to discern God's will in this quickly. Thanks!

The past 24 hours...

2008-05-20T19:55:00.001-07:00

....have been difficult to say the least.

I planned on my next post being fun pictures of Japan.

But it is not so.

Today, I spent the day at the hospital.

I'm fine. My precious mama is not.

Here's the scoop: So, the past few days, she has kind of been short of breath. However, she has had a cold and cough the past few weeks and we just kinda figured that it was part of it. So, she went to our family doctor yesterday afternoon after my brother left to go work at camp. The doctor said her lungs were clear, so set up an appointment with a cardiologist and for a chest xray for this morning.

As my mom was getting ready this morning (I was taking her), she was really short of breath and light headed, so much so that she couldn't really make it from her bathroom to her recliner in our living room. She decided that maybe going to the ER was a better option. So she called my dad at work to come home so we could all go together. When my dad got home, we were helping her stand up and she completely passed out and collapsed on us, not breathing or anything. So I grabbed my phone and made a frantic call to 911. Meanwhile, she came to, but just barely. The EMT arrived and put her on oxygen (which made things a little better) and checked her out and took her off to the hosptial (which is conveniently 5 minutes from our new house).

When we got there, they immediately started running tests, took a chest xray, took a CT scan and did some other stuff (it was a whirlwhind...I don't remember). After a while the results were in.

Pulmonary embolism. (it's hyperlinked to wikipedia)

So basically what that means, is tons of blood clots all throughout all regions of her lungs. Yeah...she could have died had we left it much longer. It is that serious.

So, because there were no ICU beds in the SL hospital, they transported her to the main hospital in the Med Center to the Surgical ICU there so they could watch her ever so closely.

She is there now, resting (not so comfortably because of all the stuff they have her attached to), but in good spirits given the situation. My dad and I have been with her all day besides lunch and dinner breaks and are taking turns tomorrow hanging out with her (and will continue to do so until she is discharged).

So, I guess all I am asking is to please pray. I have a lot of jumbled and mixed thoughts and feelings but am too drained to type it out. You can call if you want (it really doesn't hassle me at all), but I may not be able to answer because my phone is supposed to be off while in the ICU and I get horrible reception at the hospital. I will check my phone for any messages (text or voice) throughout the day.

So thanks sweet friends. God bless.

Things I Learned in Japan

2008-05-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

*How to count to six:

1 = ichi

2 = knee

3 = sun

4 = see

5 = go

6 = rock

*The difference between temples and shrines. Shrines are Shinto. Temples are Buddhist. Most Japanese are both Shinto and Buddhist. All Shinto shrines are open to the public. Only a few large Buddhist temples are open to the public. There are over 700 temples and shrines in Kyoto alone.

*It is not polite to blow your nose during a meal. But it is polite to slurp your soup and noodles and you are corrected if you fail to do so.

*The most polite way to bow is at 33 degrees. If you made a mistake, 45 degrees. If you were really bad, 90 degrees. And there are certain rules about the number and type of bows you do that is complicated and only Japanese people know. So therefore, an American can just do a polite nod and Japanese people find this acceptable and know that Americans don't know about bowing.

* There are many more things I learned and wanted to share, but can't remember now. If I remember, I will share!

3rd Day in Japan!

2008-05-16T09:24:00.001-07:00

The third and final day in Kyoto was another thrilling one. I wasn't sure what I was going to do that day because there was no accompanying persons tour scheduled and although Japan is very very safe, the language barrier can be a problem if you are lost and need help. However, at breakfast we saw my Canadian friend and Korean friend and they invited me to spend the day with them. They were planning on going on this really cool walking tour of Kyoto (apparently it has been fairly popular - like on the Discovery Channel and stuff) and it only cost 2000 yen ($20). So we took off and found our tour guide (named Johnnie Hillwalker). He's this cute little Japanese man that has been doing this same five hour walking tour for 47 years. Seriously...47 years! He moved to Kyoto right after getting married because he wanted to be a tour guide and has been doing it every since. Anyways, on the tour we walked all through town seeing different shrines and temples, different artisan parts of town and other neat things around the city. I didn't know this, but Kyoto is the handicraft center of Japan. If you have a fan from Japan (like the real hand painted ones) it came from Kyoto. A lot of pottery comes from there too. And other various crafts. And the craftsmen all living in these towns live and work in their houses and their families have been doing it for 17 generations. And all the potters live in one part of town, all the fan makers in another, all the tatami mat (the mats on the floors in their houses) makers in another and so on. It is very very cool. I even got to see and take pictures of the craftsmen making these crafts. After walking through all the crafts parts of town, we went to this really good sushi makers place and got to try a piece of inari sushi (vegetarian). Oh my I have never had such good sushi. And ours was simple - the flavored rice with tofu wrapped around it and lightly fried. Delicious! After the sushi, we went to a Japanese pastry maker's shop (one of the best in Japan) and tried a pastry and some tea (of course...nothing can be eaten without tea in Japan). We also went by the pottery painter's house and watched him paint and then outside, there was racks of pottery on sale that you could buy that they actually painted. I bought a really pretty bowl with purple flowers on it.

After the really long tour, we caught a taxi back to the hotel. My dad wanted to do some stuff so I freshened up and we headed off (on foot...so much walking in Japan). We went to the handicraft center again and got all the gifts/souvenirs we planned on. I got a really pretty miako (geisha) doll. We got my brother this really cool puzzle box that can only be opened a certain way and its like a logic puzzle. We got my mom a musical kokechi doll. Kokechi dolls are really pretty wooden painted dolls. And Audrey, I got you a couple of prints there...I'll get them to you soon. After the shopping (we got it all done in an hour...record timining!), we headed over to this part of town called the Philosopher's Walk. It's just this pretty stretch along the canal that has lots of trees (it is especially popular when cherry blossoms are blooming in March and April) and there are little restaurants and shops all along the way. It kind of reminded me of the River Walk in San Antonio but more quiet and peaceful. None of the shops or restaurants were opened because it was 5:00, so I wished we had gone earlier, but oh well. It was still peaceful. By that point, I had had my fill of walking (8 hours....ouch!) so we trekked back to the hotel. Since I hadn't eaten lunch that day, I was starving.

We decided to leave the hotel for dinnner, but stay pretty close by. So we got a list of suggested restaurants from the concierge but really just kind of looked at restaurants as we went by. We ended up at this really cute little restaurant (they are all really cute and little in Japan) and we chose it because it had english translations on the menu. This place, you also took off your shoes and sat on the floor to eat. Very authentic. In Japan, some of the restaurants have pictures or wax replicas of their food outside the restaurant so you just point to what you want (without really knowing what you are getting) and not much is in English. However, you do find some with english translations, so that way you kind of have an idea of what you will be putting in your belly. My dad and I both ordered Tempura Soba (buckwheat noodles in broth with some tempura shrimp). So yummy. I would love to eat Japanese noodles for my whole life. The bowl was huge but so good to my hungry belly. We also talked to this older couple from Denver who were on a month long tour of Asia and they were really funny. People from Colorado are always interesting. After dinner, we headed back to the hotel and packed up. I am proud to say that this is maybe the best packing job I have ever done thus far. After the disastrous packing job I did for Boston, I didn't want to make that mistake again. Not only did everything fit in my suitcase that I brought, but I was able to pack all of our souvenirs (including one fairly large box) and all my clothes and shut the suitcase without struggle or having to sit on it. Nice. I was very pleased with myself :0) Then it was time to sleep. Yay!

The next morning, we ate breakfast and checked out. So sad to leave! We boarded our flight and there was the same male flight attendant we had had on the way there. He was so loud and obnoxious and gave everyone random nicknames. Ugh. It was a long flight with him being our flight attendant. But otherwise it was okay and I just read almost the entire 13 hours (this is why I don't read constantly because once I start, it is very hard for me to stop and I can swallow up hours and hours just reading). The rest of the trip was uneventful and we made it back to Houston!

Another exciting day in Japan...

2008-05-13T15:37:00.000-07:00

Day 2 was another great day! We woke up and had the international buffet for breakfast again. Immediately after breakfast, I met the rest of the accompanying persons group in the lobby to head off for another day of seeing the sights. First, we headed to the Golden Pavillion (called Kinkaku-ji in Japanese). It is basically this beautiful Buddhist temple that is all gold and set in a very pretty garden (actually, all of Japan seems like a really pretty garden). We walked around there and took a lot of pictures. It was so crowded. Since it is one of the temples on UNESCO's World Heritage List, it is very popular for tourists to go see. Also, spring is the time for schools to take field trips to all the historical sights, so everywhere we went, there were like thousands of Japanese students of all ages running around looking at the stuff and taking pictures. One thing I find interesting is that any time a young Japanese person (like under 30 or so) takes a picture, they flash the peace sign. Can't figure out the significance of it yet but they all do it for every picture.

After that temple, we headed to another temple (that also is on the list) called the Kiyomizudera Temple. It is humongous! There are three springs right next to each other there that you drink out of. One is for health, the other for wealth and the last for wisdom. You choose one so you can receive that in your own life. So we all stood in line and did it. I drank out of the wisdom one. Why you might ask? Well, as we were walking up to the temple, our guide, Daisy, mentioned that there was a matchmaking shrine up the hill that we could visit if we wanted. Well remember how all the other people in my lovely group are chemical company executive's wives? Yeah. They all wanted me to go and were laughing about and chatting about it in their various languages. The Spanish lady was laughing and pointing at me to her friend saying, "Senorita. Senorita!" But we didn't go and I was okay with that. Well, when we got to the springs, they again asked me what I would pick so I could get a good husband since we didn't go to the shrine. So I told them I chose the wisdom one so I could pick a good husband. They liked that and then told me that when I get married, I need to bring my husband back and have him drink out of the wealth spring. Haha. These ladies crack me up!

Anyways, after that, we walked down this street with all these shops that were selling various Japanese cultural things. The Korean lady in the group treated the American lady, the Canadian lady and me to some green tea ice cream. So good! It isn't super sweet like American flavors of ice cream but rather has a gently sweet and very refreshing flavor. I think if I could find it in the States, I would probably eat it. After our ice cream stop, we loaded on the bus again and made our way back to the hotel. My dad had waited for lunch for me, so we tried the Japanese restaurant in our hotel. Pretty good. They were like set lunches so you got a mix of things. I think there was a noodle bowl, some vegetables, some sashimi (still liking the raw fish...weird!), some really good rice and some tofu with stuff on it (I didn't really like the tofu stuff...it had an odd flavor). After lunch, we walked to the Kyoto Handicraft Center, which is about five floors of different Japanese handicrafts. It is neat. I still have yet to buy anything because I wanted to see what was available, but I think my dad and I decided today (Wednesday) was our buying day. Like I said, I don't want to buy much, so what I do buy, I want it to be good.

After the Handicraft center, we walked around Kyoto in the rain for a while. We were looking for this other craft center type thing, but found it but it was all boarded up. So walking around the streets and seeing how Japanese people really live in their city was neat. We actually entered the Gion district of Kyoto, which is where you can see modern day mikos (geishas) walking around in the traditional kimonos and obis. Kyoto is kind of like this weird clash of old world Japan meeting modern city life. It is neat. You walk through the streets and see shrines and temples right next to motorcycle shops and restaurants. Very interesting juxtaposition.

We finally made it back to the hotel and cleaned up for our Gala Dinner that night. Little did we know what a treat we were in for for this dinner. AMAZING! It was a traditional Japanese dinner (very expensive...but the conference/company pays for it for its guests) with like seriously 9 courses. It started with a little plate of vegetables and tofu, some of which I liked and some of which I didn't. Then there was some kind of soup (kinda like miso, but it wasn't). Then some sashimi. There were several other dishes that I can't remember but there was the traditional shabu shabu (Japenese hot pot) course. That was cool. Basically it's a boiling pot and they put really good meat and vegetables in and you take what you want. Very good. Definitely a real treat this dinner was! After dinner, we dressed up in kimonos and stuff and took pictures. The night was so so fun! One fun thing was that we ate with no shoes on and sat in these little tiny half chairs. Kinda weird being at a fancy dinner all dressed up but in your stockings! After that, we headed back to the hotel and once again crashed from a busy day!

Day 1 in Japan

2008-05-12T15:28:00.000-07:00

Konichiwa my friends! Day 1 in Japan proved to be pretty exciting. In the morning, we woke up, got ready and then went to the breakfast buffet in the hotel. You have the choice of that international buffet or a Japanese set breakfast. We decided the buffet was probably a better option because the Japanese set breakfast consists of things like poached fish, miso soup and other things that might not settle so well on an American stomach so early in the morning. After breakfast, we decided to trek out and see some of the sights within walking distance of our hotel. We saw 3 temples/shrines which were all gorgeous. I really like Japanese architecture. I got a lot of pictures of the outsides of the temples/shrines but photos aren't allowed inside. Neither are your shoes.

Funny story: Trying very hard not to be obnoxious American tourists, we were following all the rules we knew and had been reading up on Japanese cultural customs before our outings. When it said no pictures, we took none despite the other tourists around us happily snapping away. Well, as we left one of the temples, we were retrieving our shoes. We started to put them back on thinking we were free and clear of the temple and it was now the appropriate time to put them back on and continue about our day. Well just as we got them on a monk/priest comes out and starts yelling, "shoes! shoes! shoes!" and wildly pointing at us and glaring at us very angrily. And the other tourists looking around to see who was causing such a commotion. Apparently, although outside the door of the temple, we were still standing on the wooden floor that is part of the temple, and also the part that shoes are not allowed on. Had we walked maybe 5 feet further to the stone steps and walkway, we would have been in the clear. But no. So we quickly got our shoes off again, ran to the stone, put them on and hurried out of there to avoid any further scene or embarrassment.

After our morning hike out in town, we returned to the hotel, where there is a garden and bird watching sanctuary so we started to hike through that. It had some beautiful views of the city! We had to cut our hike short because lunch was starting. I had to get down some lunch in about 15 minutes so I could join up with the accompanying persons tour group. Lunch was okay, nothing too exciting.

I found my group and was asked if I had to get back to little ones back in the United States. I kinda stood there thinking, "Seriously??" and then was like, "um, no, I'm with my dad...I'm a daughter!" The lady who was asking me this (she was an American) just told me that it is usually just wives that come and so she assumed that I was with my husband. The group of wives was very interesting as well. I was a total misfit! They are all these chemical company executive's wives and fare from all over the world. One was from Korea, one from Canada, two from Venezuela, one from Brazil and then the one American lady, who is from New Jersey. Well after they figured out that I was a daughter and only 24, they all decided that they should marry me off to their sons. Nice. On the tour, we went to this Movie Land thing which is kind of like a Japanese version of Universal Studios, but without the rides. We saw a ninja show and a haunted house. Interesting look into Japanese film but maybe not the most interesting part of the trip. After the movie land, we went to this area at the base of the mountains called Arishiyama. There is a famous bridge there whos e name when translated means "Moon Crossing Over Bridge". When it is sunset, I guess you can see the moon setting over this bridge. It is supposed to be very pretty and romantic. While we were there, we went to a tea house and had traditional green tea (very bitter!) and a Japanese sweet (very sweet and very interesting). The two need to go together to balance each other out. After the tea, we walked around some shops, but I have yet to purchase anything. I don't want to get a lot, so I really want to put thought into what I am getting.

After we returned to the hotel, I showered and got ready for the conference dinner. The conference dinner was pretty tasty. There were different stations with different kinds of Japanese cuisine to try. I tried tempura, kobe beef, a noodle bowl and some real sushi (I think maybe called sashimi?). So yummy! I liked that everything was just a small sample so I could try it all. I was surprised to find that I liked the raw fish sushi too! I usually do not eat fish because I can't stand the taste, but decided to take the plunge here. I am so glad I did. The fish wasn't fishy tasting at all. I liked it so much I might even get it in the States when I return now instead of my usual Philadelphia Roll. Haha... After dinner, I crashed. I was starting to fall asleep even during dinner, but so was everyone else so I think we all called it an early night. I came back, laid on my bed at 8:30 still in my dress clothes and slept there until 10 when my dad woke me up to put my pjs on.

So yay! That was day one of my fabulous adventures in Japan. I have been keeping busy so my updates are a little behind, but have no fear, I will get it all in. Also, I am going to wait to post all my pictures until I get back because I need to sort through them all (the count is at 163 right now!) and pick my favorites to put on here. Hope y'all are doing well. God bless!

Arrived!

2008-05-11T15:46:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am writing to you from Japan. It is almost 8:00 a.m. here, but for my friends in Texas, it is still yesterday there and not quite 6:00 p.m. Kinda crazy how that works out. In fact, when we leave her on Thursday, we will arrive in Detroit on the same day technically before we even left (does that make sense??) Anyways, we haven't done much yet. Yesterday we took a taxi from the airport in Osaka to our hotel here in Kyoto (so cool!) We got settled in our room and decided to eat something. We went to the hotel's cafe and I got to eat some Udon noodles...yum! (pictured left...but that is a picture from the internet, not actually my picture) The only thing was that they took all my silverware from me before my meal came and I was forced to eat with the chopsticks - something I try often but still don't quite have the hang of, especially with noodles! But I did okay and enjoyed my meal.

Last night, I actually slept okay despite reversing my sleep schedule. I slept for about 2 hours, woke up, went back to sleep for 2 hours, woke up and continued this until about 5:30 this morning, which isn't too bad considering the crazy schedule change. My dad's conference stuff doesn't start until about 12:30 so I think we are going to explore a bit this morning. While my dad is conferencing this afternoon, I will be going on a tour of this Movieland thing where they have historical like buildings used for movies and TV shows and then to a park that has lots of cherry blossoms. Then tonight is the Conference Welcome Dinner, which I will be attending with my dad. Should be fun! I'll let y'all know how it all goes and maybe even post some pictures.

God bless!

And I'm Off!

2008-05-09T22:12:00.000-07:00

In just a few short hours, my dad and I will be loading our suitcases into the Mustang, driving to the airport and jetting to Japan! I AM SO FREAKIN' EXCITED!!

My plan was to be in bed a lot earlier tonight but that didn't happen. Not because of my procrastination. Oh no. I actually finished packing (and did an excellent job if I do say so myself...I don't think I overpacked too badly this time!) early this afternoon.

Well, you see, this morning I woke up feeling a little congested and didn't think much of it because I have been in and out of feeling congested the past few weeks. So I went about my merry way visiting my school for next year (I'll tell you more about that in another very exciting post), eating lunch with sweet Ashley (my friend from Baylor, roomate in Denton and precious friend who I am very excited to have moving back to Houston!), packing and what not. Well since we will be out of the country on Mother's Day (don't mention that to my mom...she WILL cry), we celebrated tonight by taking her to this super yummy Indian restaurant called Mayuri. I knew I wasn't feeling a hundred percent, but figured I could knock it pretty quickly. Oh no. That was not the case. As dinner progressed, I started to ache all over, be dizzy and just feel plain yuck. So I said maybe we should go to Urgent Care (mind you, my mom had been asking all day if we should go to the doctor...should have listened). Unfortunately, since I waited too long, all the urgent cares were closed (they close at 9). So I got to make a really fun trip to the ER. Woohoo. I would get sick before a big trip (and sadly, this is not even just the first or second time it has happened). So after an hour there and them deciding that it was hay fever (bad allergies) and some discussion with the cute, single doctor, we again were on our merry way....to the 24 Hour Walgreens...where we waited about another hour. Also, while at the ER, they gave me this fabulous shot of steroids that actually has worked a miracle in about the last 2 hours...I feel MUCH better. PTL!

Anyways, at Ashley's suggestion, I am going to try to post every day about what I am doing in Japan. Get excited (and pray for my hay fever!). Love you!

I have a J-O-B!!!!

2008-04-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

Sooooo...big news!! I now have a job for the upcoming school year :0) And I couldn't be more excited! Let me tell you the neat story of how God provided this amazing opportunity....it's a good one!

So rewind to last week. I had interviewed with a school in this same district a few weeks ago. Well, they called last Thursday to offer me that job and gave me only 24 hours to decide (given that I still had several interviews and a job fair scheduled, that wasn't a lot of time to give me to weigh my options). I just didn't feel a peace about accepting it and it wasn't really the type of Special Ed job that I wanted (it was a Resource/Inclusion type job). The principal advised me that the district can be hard to get into (true) and that the job I wanted (LIFE Skills) was usually given to more experienced teachers (also true). However, I just couldn't escape the feeling that God was really calling me to teaching something like LIFE Skills. Plus, the Resource/Inclusion jobs are plentiful so if I didn't take this one, I knew there would be more because of the dire need for them. So, I turned it down, knowing full well God would provide.

Saturday morning, I went to the job fair for this same district. In one word, it was overwhelming. Thousands of people vying for a job in the district all milling around this huge (but not huge enough) arena. Since I was looking for a very specific job, there were only a few with openings so I just went to those tables. However, some did not have a job opening for a LIFE Skills teacher (I had been sent by HR there - I guess HR was misinformed) and some had already filled their opening. However, at this one table, I waited in line to talk to the people manning the table and told them what I wanted. The lady sent me right on up to interview (they do on-site interviews in the bleachers of this arena). The interview itself went fairly well and I really like the teachers I was interviewing with. But, I kinda knew, realistically speaking, they would probably hire someone else with more experience under their belt. So, after milling around for a while longer, I left the fair, feeling somewhat discouraged and wondering why I even came. I also was frustrated that I had stayed up late working on something like 30 portfolios to hand out and was returning home with about 25 of them. Anyways, I went on my merry way and drove to Austin to meet up with people from church there for our Extremely Short Term Missions Trip (another post).

We were eating dinner at Kerbey Lane (SO YUMMY!) that night. I heard my phone ring but didn't get to it in time. It wasn't a number I knew, so I just decided to let the person leave a message. Well, I listened to the message and almost fell out of my chair! He said his teachers really liked me and that he was recommending me for the position! I had also been told to expect to hear something either way in about a week or so so the fact that he called that night shocked me too. What the recommending bit means is that he tells HR that he wants to hire me and then they check all my paperwork and background check and other stuff and then they have to call and officially extend me the offer (hence the reason I waited until today to tell you this story). I did accept this morning with a full peace that this is where I need to be (despite upcoming job interviews that I will now have to turn down/cancel). I had been told by many many people that if I could get in to the district, especially in Special Ed, I needed to take it.

But I have more to tell you about the ways God has provided this perfect job for me. I had several criteria that I really wanted met, but knew realistically that I might not be able to find the perfect school to meet all my criteria. Well, God answered every single prayer about those things! The first is the actual position of LIFE Skills teacher - I wanted it and felt called to it but knew it might be out of my reach until I had more experience, especially for this district. I'm not sure what prompted them to take a chance on me, but I am glad they are! The second is the demographic makeup of the school. It is a Title 1 (which means low income - a certain percentage of the school is on free/reduced lunch) school. Now in other parts of Houston, that is not uncommon. But in this district, it is the exception rather than the rule. The rest of the district is fairly affluent. I worked at a Title 1 school last year as an aide and really liked it. Also, if I work at a Title 1 campus for 5 years, I get loan forgiveness. Yep, you read that right! That means loans I have from my last year at Baylor and all of my grad school (mostly in loans) would be paid for. So yay for that! Next, the location is perfect. I wanted to be able to live in a good part of town that would place me equally distant from church and work and neither would be a chore to drive to. This school, where it is located is perfect and I will probably be able to live in the middle of the two and only drive 10-15 minutes to each! And against the flow of traffic!!! So cool. Another neat thing about this school is that my mom's best friend (who now lives in Kuwait) was a first grade teacher there for a few years and loved the school, so I know the school has a good reputation. Lastly, many of the elementary schools in this district have 900-1000 students and are overcrowded. Yuck. This school only has 450 students! So great.

So that is my wonderful story of how God provided a job for me - not just the minimum - but did immeasurably more than I could ask for (He said He would, so I don't know why I had any question about it). Anyways, I couldn't pass on sharing this info with you and the marvelous way God has provided for me in this. AMEN!

God bless!

10 Things

2008-04-23T07:30:00.000-07:00

So, lately a lot of people have been making lists of things that people may not know about them. So I'm going to jump on that bandwagon and do the same. So here goes...

I hate tomatoes, fish and bell peppers. Those are probably the three things in this world that I refuse to eat (I have tried them though...). There are other foods I don't particularly care for but will eat if I don't have a choice. Those three though, I refuse! Like if they bring me a sandwich with tomato on it and I asked for no tomato, I will return it and ask for a new one because simply removing the offending tomato leaves tomato juice on the sandwich and I can still taste it. Normally I'm not that ridiculous of a customer... Funny thing though, I think all three of these foods are beautiful and look tasty and wish I liked them. Weird, I know.
I can read for hours on end. Literally, hours. And I've done this since I was really little.
I will jump at any chance to travel. Like even if it is just a weekend trip to San Antonio. I just love going out and doing and seeing things. Something about traveling just makes me feel excited and alive.
Along with the travel, I absolutely love to fly! Just going to the airport excites me. Some people are airplane phobics, but not me!
The two things I am most passionate about in life are children with special needs and ministry to women and girls. There is just something that tugs at my heart about both of those things.
There are three things in life that I feel like I can never have enough of and will always find a way to justify the purchase of a new one: bags (purses, travel bags, totes, etc.), blankets/quilts and jackets. I've gotten a lot better but whenever I walk by these things, I get excited and have to talk myself out of it.
I love to start crafty projects but have difficulty finishing them. If only you knew how many half completed craft projects I have sitting around.
I love to sing at the top of my lungs but pity the person who is around when I do so. I wish I could belt things out and people would enjoy it, but that is not my gift in life, so far now, my life as a diva will be limited to my car and my shower.
I am a list maker. Post it notes are my best friend. If I have several things to be done or several things I need to purchase, a list will be made. When I was in college, everday I would make a list in my first class of the day of what needed to be done that day. Lists calm me down and help me to prioritize. If I don't make them, I get very overwhelmed.
Wherever I go, I must have a sweater/sweatshirt/jacket with me. I get cold often and am miserable when I am cold. So even if it is the middle of summer in Houston and 100 degrees, I will carry one of those things with me in case I am somewhere cold.

Is Something Wrong? Maybe...

2008-04-21T20:16:00.001-07:00

I'm just gonna be brutally honest for a sec here. Pardon my dust...

So, since there is a significant amount of mental illness (bipolar, depression and the like) in my family, I always feel like I'm living under this threat that I may too have something wrong. I mostly just take that with a grain of salt but then sometimes I start thinking about and really wondering if something truly is wrong. Since I'm fairly familiar with some of the manifestations of these illnesses, I know what to look for. But I need a second opinion (I know some of you out there know a bit about this topic...). I'm thinking it may or may not be a mild form of depression, but am not sure if it is permanent or temporary and if it is a true mental illness or a misaligned spiritual attitude. Here's what I am seeing...

Excessive sleeping and not feeling like I can ever get enough - I've never been like this up until this point.
Apathy in some areas of my life - like working especially - I will find any excuse not to substitute and don't even care that I am losing what little money I earn (but need!) over the deal.
Some degree of anxiety.
Bouts of extreme frustration over small things - example: tonight I was making dinner and could not find the right seasoning that I had just purchased last week - I nearly had a melt down but talked myself out of it before I started crying.
Sensitivity - like emotional sensitivity - this is to some degree part of how I am wired but than there are times when I know I am being hypersensitive and all around ridiculous.

Now here's the thing too. These aren't constants. They kind of ebb and flow and I never know when they are coming.

So what are your thoughts? Is there something truly wrong that I need to seek professional help for? Or am I afflicted with a sinful attitude and need to break the cycle of sin I am in? I really am baffled so any advice/experience you might have would be helpful.

So enough about that junk. In exciting news, I have an interview this week with a really neat charter school! I am going to Austin this weekend on an Extremely Short Term Mission Trip that I helped to plan (one of my favorite pastimes - planning things!) so I am pumped about that. I have a job fair on Saturday with a really good district. My dog is really cute.

That is all for now! God bless!

Konichiwa!

2008-04-17T14:36:00.000-07:00

So big news! In an unexecpected turn of events, I will be going to Japan for 5 days in May! How very exciting is that!??! My dad is going there on a business trip and I am accompanying him there. Every time he goes on a business trip, we jokingly talk about how I should come with him because he knows I love to fly and to travel and always jump at the chance to do so. Well this time, instead of remaining a joke, it became serious and now I am going. I will digitizing (is that even a word??) all of the photos from our whole life (like we are talking before I was born up until the time my dad discovered a digital camera) and organizing them all into albums and such, so Japan is my payment for doing this. They were going to pay me for doing the photos but I suggested that Japan be my payment instead (maybe not the wisest financial decision, but I figure travel now while I can and worry about earning money later). So yay! That is my super exciting news for the day!
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In other news, I have a great book for all you dog lovers out there (and even those who aren't so fond of man's best friend). The name of the book is Marley and Me. It is by John Grogan. So I've never cried at reading a book before. I bawled in this book. It was soooo good and really captures the spirit of why we love our furry friends so very much. Just read it. Trust me, you won't regret it.

Learning to Like Wine

2008-04-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

So up to this point, I really haven't been much of a drinker. Not because I'm opposed to it (in moderation of course) but mainly because aside from really expensive fruity drinks, I don't really like the taste of alcohol.

However, I have recently stumbled upon not 1, but 2 different wines that I actually like. The first, Chelsea shared with me. It's called a Spatlese (sp?)...it's a sweet German wine that is very tasty.

The second, which I didn't think I would like but my brother convinced me to give it a try, is White Zinfandel (another sweet wine of course...). I had it at my cousin's wedding this past weekend and it was very good!

So now I can order more than just diet coke and water when out with friends! I feel kinda like I'm getting older and less like I'm 8 years old. Not completely, but this is a step up! Haha... anyways just wanted to share, especially for those of you who share in my former disdain for wine. Give it a try friends!

Beantown!

2008-04-07T14:50:00.000-07:00

I think it is hilarious that they call Boston "Beantown". I'm not sure why. Maybe it is because I think the word "bean" is a funny word. Just say it. It just kinda makes you chuckle. And then to call this huge, cultural, socially aware city by it. Anyways...on to my fabulous week there! Sorry this post has been so delayed. I love to blog. I really do. But for whatever reason, even though I have a million ideas to write about currently, I can't seem to make myself do it. Go figure. Anyways.

I left very early Tuesday morning with my new pink traveling backpack (I am going on several trips in the somewhat near future so decided it was necessary - and it was pink) and my majorly overpacked suitcase (never doing that again...I thought I was getting over my overpacking disease!) I'm not kidding you...for a four day visit, I think I packed enough for 2 weeks! Chelsea found me at baggage claim and off we were on our grand adventure! It started off with a bang trying to get all my excuse my french, crap, loaded off and on the three buses/subways that it takes to get to their apartment, walk with it all the way to the apartment (which was a lengthy walking distance from the T stop - especially w/a heavy suitcase) and then up 4 flights of very narrow stairs. Chels was a great pal and never complained and helped me lug that baby up. Oy. After a light lunch, she took me over to see some of the shops at Coolidge Corner and to Trader Joe's - a really cool supermarket that is like Whole Foods but way more affordable. Then we came home and rested a little and waited for Jeremy to come home. We made hot dogs for dinner. After that, we went to their pastor's house for a baby dedication and party. They have some really sweet people at their church. I really enjoyed putting some faces with names I had been hearing since they moved here.

On Wednesday, we woke up and even though it was cold and rainy, we wanted to make the best of our time and headed out. We went down to Government Center and saw some of the sights on the Freedom Trail. Chelsea, having been on it several times, knew all the cool facts, even the little ones that not a lot of people know, was a great tour guide despite the yucky weather. After walking around some and seeing the inside of Quincy Market (this really cool famous hall that has been turned into a food court, but a really nice one with some neat restaurants), we decided to trek over to Little Italy (the Italian neighborhood in Boston) for some lunch and some real Italian food - not Olive Garden. We went to this restaurant that Chelsea had been to before. SO YUMMY! I had this yummy saffron risotto with shrimp in it. Boston has this thing called restaurant week and we so happened to be there during it. Basically what that means is that the fancy restaurants around town pick their best meals and put it on a set menu for like $20-$30. You get like four courses too. So Chelsea, for $20 got four courses. She got a salad (I think it was bruschetta maybe?), an appetizer (don't remember), a pasta (some really good pasta in a tomato based sauce) and some very yummy stuffed chicken breast (I know it was all yummy b/c she let me try it - don't worry, I let her try mine too!). After that, we walked around a bit more and then decided that the weather was too much for us (well me, mainly) and headed back to the apartment where we rested and watched Rachael Ray. I don't remember what we did for dinner that night but after dinner, Chelsea had a special treat for me. There is the fabulous dessert place called Finale near her apartment. For my Christmas present (better late than never...and I'm always in the mood for Christmas!) she took me there. I got this rich and gooey molten chocolate cake (think Chili's but better!) and she had Creme Brulee. Soooo yummy.

The next day, the weather was a little more pleasant. So we headed out to see Fenway! So cool. I'm not the biggest baseball fan, but I do like the sport and have a pretty good appreciation for it's history. We actually had the opportunity to walk right on the field through a construction entrance but figured that if we got in trouble for it, Jeremy wouldn't be too pleased about bailing his wife and her friend out of jail. After that, we walked to Government Center and went to this shopping center. We browsed through Barnes and Noble (I could spend hours in that store!) and then ate at the food court where I got some deeeee-licious clam chowder complete with a bread bowl and everything. After that, we walked around some more seeing the Boston Marathon finish line and took a picture pretending to run across it (like anyone would ever believe that I could run that sucker...haha), saw the library (which is more like a museum) and then she took me to this fantastic gem of a store called H&M. Too bad the funds are low b/c I could have gone wild in a store like that! We then headed over to meet some of her friends to go to Bible study. They are doing a Beth Moore study (isn't she fantastic??). It was really neat to get to meet these women and know more about the people Chels is always telling me about. Really neat ladies with some amazing, authentic faith. After that, we went home and ordered Thai food for dinner. You can't go wrong with Thai food! If I had to eat one type of food for the rest of my life, I think it would be Thai food.

On Friday, we went back down to Government Center and saw some of the sights we had missed on our previous bad weather day (such as the Boston Massacre sight, where the Declaration of Independence was first read and the like...) We ate lunch at Quincy Market (sooo good...even Rachael Ray at there for one of her shows!) We also went to the fruit and vegetable market which is so neat. I would love to live in a place that had that. Chelsea got some stuff for her and Jeremy and I got two things called pluots (a cross between a plum and an apricot). They were so sweet and delicious! I have tried to find them here in Houston, but have yet to discover where they are hiding. We also went over and walked through the Holocaust Memorial. It was very neat, moving and sobering. I'm a big history nut and especially am intrigued with WWII and Holocaust history. Sometime during this day we also went and saw Harvard, which was pretty cool. We also found a really neat bookstore there and browsed through there for a good long time. After our fun day out, we headed back to her apartment so I could pack up and sadly leave me sweet friends and fly back to Texas.

So all in all, it was a fabulous trip not just because I was getting to travel but because I got to see two of my very favorite people! Below is just some of the pictures of my trip...enjoy! And so sorry for the month delay in the post! I'm horrible! And that's also the reason some of the details/days are mixed up because I have now forgotten what order they happened in.

Stewart Star of the Rub-Al-Khali (aka Ruby)

2008-03-31T09:12:00.000-07:00

A piece of my childhood died today.

Yeah, it was my precious cat. I've had her since I was 6. I mean she would have been 18 in a few weeks and that is extremely old for a kitty. And I knew when my mom took her to the vet this morning that that was probably what was going to happen. She was sick. She has been for a year. And the last few weeks, she has just really slowed down and obviously deteriorated. But yeah, sweet Ruby will be missed. I think even Ella senses that something sad is happening. Ella loved Ruby. Ruby despised Ella, but that did not stop Ella from constantly trying to gain the affections of this aging and crazy cat!

Anyways, I know it is kind of silly, but could you pray for my family in this? She has been a big part of our lives and so it is like saying good bye to a huge portion of our lives. My mom is especially sensitive to this kind of stuff so pray for her too because a lot of her life revolved around taking care of the cat and meeting the cat's needs. So yeah. I know people are dealing with bigger things than their cat dying, but many of you have been there - losing a pet hurts! My family has suffered this several times over the past 18 months with my first dog, Maya, dying 3 weeks after I got her (she was sick to begin with and I didn't know), Zeke, our 13 year old dog died last year of cancer and now Ruby. Kinda funny how the oldest pet lasted the longest!

Anyways, Ruby is in kitty heaven now (no, I'm not looking for a theological/philosophical debate on the existence of pet heaven). She will be missed!

In her honor, here's a list of things that we will miss about her:

The way she yelled/meowed at you when she was hungry

The way she whipped all the dogs in her life into shape into doing exactly what she wanted

The way she would jump on your lap the minute you sat down as if you were her personal pillow

The way she would jump around all the counters in our old house

The way she loved my dad's BBQ chicken - I kid not

The way she thought my Barbie Dreamhouse was her personal house

The way she cried/meowed in her crate on every single trip to the vet

The way she would eat Ella's dog food

And many many more that I just can't think of right now - I mean really, how do you sum up 18 years?!?!

Coming up next is the promised Boston post! I've already started it but have yet to finish it or upload my pictures. Get excited!

*And yes, the title in my post is her full name. My brother and I were 3 and 6. My parents were trying to appease us. I wanted to name the cat Star really badly so they put it in there. She was the Stewart's cat so obviously. And the Rub-Al-Khali is a desert in Saudi Arabia that has reddish sand - Ruby's fur was kind of a similar color to it. So yeah there's the explanation in case you were wondering.

Thriller...

2008-03-24T15:04:00.000-07:00

Since I didn't watch the commercials doing Superbowl this year, I stumbled upon this beauty just last night. Because I have a fairly strong affinity for Michael Jackson music (notice I say "music", not an affinity for the actual person...oi vey!), you will understand why I like this commercial so much!! Just click HERE to see it on YouTube :0)

Coming up next is a post about my FABULOUS trip to Beantown!

*If anyone knows how to post videos from YouTube on here, please share with me how! I know Ashley and Chelsea do so tell me how! Thanks guys!

Post #100!!! (and Rascal Flatts!!!!)

2008-03-14T19:38:00.000-07:00

It is my 100th post!! How exciting is that!?!?! Break out the champagne and the "100" sunglasses (the kind they wear to celebrate the 100th day of school!). That's all...hahaha

Now that that excitement is finished, let's move on to the real excitement - RASCAL FLATTS CONCERT!!! Can we say AMAZING!?!?! I'll give you the run down of what we did and then post some pictures of all the fun.

When we got there, we decided to eat first. A bunch of good restaurants set up booths there and we decided on Pappasito's. I know it isn't BBQ, but my taco was good so whatever. Then we walked up 5 levels of Reliant Arena (hey, I'm not complaining - those tickets were free!) and found our seats. For the next 2 hours, we watched all the rodeo events. Very cool. It got a little old after 2 hours of it, but it was still interesting (and there were some rather attractive cowboys...). Then, they had a calf scramble where high school students chase calves that have been let loose and get like money or a scholarship or something for catching the calves. Talk about a rough game! Those calves stomped all over those poor kids. Not a sport I'm wanting to get into any time soon. Finally, the stage came out and started rotating and the sweet music of Rascal Flatt's filled my ears :0) Since I know many of their songs and so does Jenny, we sang along. So great. I even got some illegal videos (they said no videotaping but my camera has a video function so I got a few clips of some my favorite songs - shhhh, don't tell!). However, I'm somewhat technologically impaired and cannot figure out how to post videos on here so I can't share those with you. Pictures will have to suffice...

Jenny & me excited for Rascal Flatts!

Calf Scramble!!!

Excitement!

2008-03-10T13:30:00.000-07:00

I am so excited about several things this week and the weeks to come that I feel like I'm going to burst! Since I am home alone this week (the rest of the fam is in New Orleans enjoying free food and fun on my dad's company's tab - they are at a conference) I decided my blog would be the best choice for an outlet for some of my excitement. So here are the exciting things!

Job Interview!
Tomorrow morning, I will have my first interview for a teaching position with Katy ISD. It is just really a screening interview, but it's a start! Plus, Katy is a great school district and is supposed to have a fantastic special ed program (people relocate there just so their kids can participate in their programs), so if I could get a job there, that would be fabulous! I've had positive interactions with the district so far, so hopefully this will be another positive interaction.

Rodeo!
So, I've never really been to the Houston Rodeo before (sad, I know, since I have lived here for 8.5 years and all). I have been to the BBQ cookoff briefly but we didn't really do anything but that - like concert-wise and stuff. Well, that is all changing tomorrow evening! Jenny called me this morning and said she had two free tickets to get this, THE RASCAL FLATTS CONCERT!! Not only am I excited about the rodeo, but I also get to see one of my favorites in concert! And for free!! I about peed my pants I was so excited when she asked me (FYI - I didn't really pee on myself - that would have been funny though). Anyways, I'll post pictures from the event! Be jealous!

Paul's Engagement!
Well, this actually happened last week, but still! My good friend Paul (yes, Tall Paul) proposed to his sweet girlfriend on Friday night! I couldn't be more excited for him. I have known him since our senior year in high school and it has been amazing to watch what God has done in his life in the past few years and I am so excited to see where God is taking him as he steps into this next phase of his life. Truly amazing! I haven't met his fiancee yet, but I am sure she is just precious and I am soooo excited for them two!

Boston!
We are now down to 8 days until I get to see Jeremy and Chelsea in Boston! Two months ago when I bought my plane tickets I thought this day would never come but now it is here and I just cannot wait! And she is already being a wonderful tour guide to me by telling me fun things we can do. So far we've talked about the Freedom Trail (a three mile walk around Boston to see all the historical things there), Fenway Park (how could you go to Boston and not see this, really?), outdoor ice skating, and many other fun things. It is going to be so great not just to see those cool things but to spend time with some of my favorite people in the world! Again, pictures will be posted of this exciting thing!

Okay, so that's what I've got for now! Hope exciting things are happening to you! God bless!

Beautiful

2008-03-02T08:39:00.000-08:00

Oh Lord, You are beautiful

Your face is all I see

And when Your eyes are on this child

Your grace abounds to me

Brought To You By The Letter 'R'

2008-02-25T19:46:00.000-08:00

The past week...

Rolands
I attended the visitation and funeral/memorial service for Mr. Roland (Audrey's dad). Both were nice (can you say that about those...they aren't really nice things to go to....I guess maybe well done or something like that is more appropriate) but heart-breaking. Just please keep praying for Audrey and her mom and brother.

Radiating
At the funeral, the pastor talked about Mr. Roland's radiating faith. It radiated through all that he did, in the good times and the bad. I want faith like that. In the good times and the bad. One thing I thought about as the pastor was talking was the irony of the radiating faith of a cancer patient like Mr. Roland. Many cancer patients go through some type of radiation treatment (I don't know if Mr. Roland did - all I know is several treatments were tried on him). It makes them ill and has other unpleasant side effects. But for Mr. Roland, the more of this "radiation treatment" (using that as a general term for any cancer treatment in this case) went in, it caused his faith to increase and radiate even more to those around him. Just an interesting juxtaposition to me...

Regurgitation
Yeah, that's gross. It came on very quickly, I threw up for 2 hours and couldn't move but then it stopped and life returned to normal (sort of...I was still a little queasy). Very weird. Glad it's done. I haven't thrown up since my 2 horrible stomach viruses when I worked at the elementary school last year.

Retreat
HFBC's Singles Ministry (Summit) had a retreat this weekend at Trinity Pines near Livingston, TX. AMAZING. I did everything there but sleep (I can't sleep through many noises, so I don't expect to on weekends like this). We left Houston at about 8:45 on Saturday morning. When we got there we listened to a speaker, had some worship and then ate lunch (if you can call it that...) and then played all afternoon. There were several options for activities and I chose to play softball all afternoon. How glorious! Not only was it a beautiful day, but I just love playing softball so it was perfect! I am fairly sore now because I haven't used my softball muscles in a while but it was so worth it! After that, we ate "dinner" and had another session of good preaching and good worship. We then worked on our skits for Oscar Night. My class is a hoot! We wait til the last minute on a lot of things and this skit was no different. Other classes had been preparing for a while but we waited. Too much fun! And we pulled it off pretty well too! The audience laughed a lot. Although we didn't win any awards, I think we did pretty well. I wish I had a video of our performance to show you. Anyways, after that we had a great late night dance party with some not so great music (it was like popular songs made into Christian ones...Mambo #5, Eminem, etc...some of that stuff just shouldn't and doesn't translate well into Christian ones). We then went to bed very late. The next morning, I woke up early (I told you, I don't sleep at these things!) and had a very deep and eye-opening quiet time (more on that later in the post) out on a rocking chair in the beautiful morning sunshine. We then had a little breakfast, another great session and worship and then split up into our classes and had wonderful discussion and prayer time. I really love the people in my class. I have never been involved in such an authentic community of believers and am so blessed and excited to get to know them more and to be more involved in the class. After that, the last session occurred and ended with an altar time (again, more on that later in the post). We then ate burgers made by the Summit leadership for lunch (good burgers although I am not a huge fan of burgers...weird, I know) and ate out in the beautiful sunshine. Then we packed up. Of course, our class can never get moving very fast anywhere so we were the last to leave and ended up helping leadership pack up everything. We did not get back to Houston until 6:30! We were supposed to have been back by like 3:30 or 4. Haha...oh well. I just came home, showered, ate dinner, finished some nagging homework and crashed for 11 hours. What a weekend...so AMAZING! I was hesitant about going but am so very glad that I did.

Renewal/Refreshment/Reminders/Reignition
My heart and spirit were very renewed this past weekend. I've really been struggling with feelings of dryness and apathy. I needed to hear what I did this weekend. It was about roots in our lives (check out Jeremiah 17:7-8). It was as if the Lord created this whole weekend and used the speakers just to speak to my heart (I know that's not the case...but it sure did feel like that!). It was like a flame was reigniting in my heart that had just been kinda smoldering for a while.

Refinement
Okay, now the tough topic. The Lord surfaced several things in my life that I need to be working on. Specifically, the idols I have placed on my heart that I have tried to replace Him with. I just hate that I am allowing these ugly and awful things to control me and replace a God that is so beautiful, loving, perfect and merciful. Why am I trading something so wonderful and beautiful for some things so hideous and ugly??? I have spent much of the last two days in tears over the status of my heart. It started with the quiet time I had. One of the speakers had posed the question about idols to us so I was thinking about it during my quiet time and God just revealed to me these things that I have been grasping for rather than grasping for Him. Such a painful thing but I am so thankful that they are being revealed to me and I am being refined by His fire. During the aforementioned altar time, I just got on my knees and was just so crushed by what I have been allowing in my heart and the sin in my life. Approaching the altar during these altar times is something I rarely do but I knew that's where I needed to be at this time. I know the road ahead is long. It is like as soon as I brought those things before the Lord, Satan immediately stepped in and is attacking me from all sides on these idols. Satan doesn't want me to give them up. He wants me to remain distant from the God that I love and so desire intimacy with. I can physically feel this battle going on inside me. It's so weird. I can't even describe it. I want to be so free of these things that have been holding me back from the life abundant that has been freely given to me. Just pray as this process of intense refinement of my heart occurs. It is going to be rough. It already is. Thanks...

Anyways, I know it was a long post, but when I tried to omit any of the above topics, I just couldn't. Hope you are doing well. God bless!

Interesting Article

2008-02-21T07:17:00.001-08:00

I came across this article about a girl with autism. There are lots out there but I found this one particularly interesting. She's an unusual case but very interesting anyways.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4311223&page=1

If you are interested in autism, this is definitely worth your time to read!

Excitement and Boredom/Depression

2008-02-20T14:55:00.000-08:00

Exciting things lately:
I PASSED my teacher certification exam!! Major step out of the way...
My hair cut turned out well today
I got 3 inexpensive cute shirts at Target the other day :0)
I get to go to Boston in 1 month!
HFBC singles ministry retreat this weekend :0)
Intramural softball for my church starts soon

Boredom/Depression lately:
Unemployment sucks :0(
No structure to my life b/c I have no job and only some stuff for my classes to do
Lots of rain and mud
Attending Audrey's dad's visitation and funeral tomorrow and Friday - my heart hurts so much for her
Unemployment sucks... its boring and depressing so it needed to be said twice...

Audrey

2008-02-18T05:41:00.000-08:00

So, remember how I've been asking you to pray for Audrey and her family?

Her dad's battle with cancer ended last night and he passed away.

I mean I really don't have much to say about it. I love her and her family so much and my heart just breaks for them and hates that they have to suffer through this.

So pray for them in this tough week ahead as they go through funeral services and things like that and for them in the days, weeks and months ahead as they deal with this devastating loss.

Thats all. Just pray.

Singles Awareness Day (SAD)

2008-02-14T10:00:00.000-08:00

Haha... no, I'm not sad because I'm single but I do think whoever came up with the acronym in my title was fairly clever. It gives me a good chuckle every year. In my mind, Valentine's Day is just another good excuse to wear lots of pink and eat some chocolate (although oddly enough, I am wearing a purple shirt today and ate very little chocolate... go figure). However, I certainly wouldn't mind if a cute boy wanted to spend this day with me! Haha..

One thing I've been thinking about a lot lately is generational sin and its role in my life. Its a tough thing to look at and something that is very scary to me. I can see myself falling into patterns that my mother, her mother and my mother's mother's mother have laid out. I want to break the chain. I don't want to be like that. I love them all very very much but to be honest, some of the sins they are or have been entangled in are nothing I want to be part of. However, they are very difficult to escape. I want to flee from them. I want to break that chain. I want to set a new precedent for my daughter(s) if I have any. One sin that has bound all of us (myself included) is food and our attitudes towards it. We all struggle with our weight just genetically speaking but add food issues along with that and its a pretty scary ball game. My grandmother smokes so she won't eat so much and gain weight. My mom has issues with food too. I'm starting to realize I might have some as well. No, I'm not obese but I'm certainly not at a healthy weight for my height and age. Another issue we all struggle with is the desire for control over others in our lives. It can get pretty bad. I have several stories about my family and this issue. No bueno. I want to be free of these sins. I don't want to be the next generation that falls captive to those holds. So yeah... pretty scary stuff.

If I could just ask for prayer for myself (I feel awkward asking this, but feel like I need to). I am really struggling with a lot of self-image and self-concept issues and consequently, some depression issues as well. Really having a hard time there. I know in my head that I am His beloved and His child, but my heart is beating to a different tune and I can't seem to get it back on track. I hate how I view myself which further perpetuates the problem of trying to be okay with myself. Anyways, its a vicious cycle that I desparately want out of but am finding little relief from.

In other prayer requests, please please please pray for my friend Audrey and her family. I spoke with her for a few minutes this evening and have been following her emails and journal. The doctor has basically given her dad just a few days to live. She is doing as well as possible given the circumstances. Please just keep praying. I hate to see such a sweet precious friend going through such a nightmare as this.

In good news, my teacher certification exam went well and my unofficial score report that I got indicates that I passed and scored fairly well. This means I can now be hired as a teacher because I am considered "highly qualified". Haha...but yeah. So glad it's out of the way. Thank you to those of you who prayed for me and wished me well. It worked!

Hope your Valentine's Day was good, couple or not. God bless!

"Oh What A Night!"

2008-02-06T07:48:00.000-08:00

Last night, I got to go see Jersey Boys at the Hobby Center here in Houston. What a treat that was! If you don't know anything about this Broadway musical, its based on the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. They wrote songs hits like "Oh What A Night", "Big Girls Don't Cry", "Walk Like a Man" and many, many more, all of which were featured in this musical. It was fantastic! At first I didn't want to spend the money on a ticket, but I'm glad I did. It was funny though because the people I was with and I were probably some of the youngest people there. Most of the audience was people our parent's age and on up. Guess that music isn't really my generation, but it still is wonderful! Anyways, if you get the chance to see it, I highly recommend it (be forewarned though, there is some language and some rather risque content). And if you ever need a buddy to see a musical with, I am your gal!

Hope you are doing well! God bless!

You Break, HE Buys!

2008-02-01T14:49:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday in church, Pastor Gregg, who is doing a great series on milestones in our lives, talked about salvation. Because I like to think in images and allusions, his preaching resonates well with me. He was talking about going into a store with little kids and there are always those signs that say "You Break, You Buy". But the marvelous thing about salvation is that we can change that sign to "You Break, HE Buys!". Such simple words yet such a beautiful concept. He knows we are broken. He knows we are going to break. Yet, still, we were bought at a ransom by Him and through Him. Sometimes I struggle with feeling the joy of my salvation (Psalms 51:12) but that phrase has been running through my head all week because the picture it paints in my head and on my heart. Just wanted to share...

In less happy news, I want to ask you to pray for my sweet, long-time friend, Audrey. Her father has cancer and after a doctors appointment on Wednesday has been given weeks, maybe a month or two more. Oh how my heart breaks. I know you may not know her, but please just pray. Her family and my family have been friends for a while, so its a difficult thing to watch. Its also sobering to watch this happen to someone my age because it could be me and I can't even imagine losing my father (or anyone in my family). In her words, "This sucks. It just sucks." So yeah. Please pray.

Hope you are doing well. I will post some love quotes from my planner on here soon. There's some good ones that are worth posting.

God bless!

Metacognition

2008-01-28T12:32:00.000-08:00

"...take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
~2 Corinthians 10:5b~

I've been thinking a lot about my thoughts lately, or in other words, spending a lot of time doing some metacognition. I feel like my thoughts have been running away with me. I need to be focusing on things that are holy and pleasing to Him and avoid thinking about things that are not. But the more I try to refocus myself, the harder and harder it seems to get. Oy! Does anyone have any ideas for how to get out of this quagmire? I can't just stop thinking - thats silly! But how do I keep my self focused on things that I should be thinking about and flee from things I should not? Anyways...

In some sad news, I have been following through blogs a couple of families that have have given birth to or are about to give birth to babies afflicted with T18 syndrome. Its basically a syndrome that is mostly incompatible with life and there are like 2 people alive today that have survived it. Its pretty serious and most babies die before they are born or shortly after birth. However, one family, the Hostetters (its linked - click on their name), had little Tristan and he survived an amazing 56 days and seemed to be doing very well and hanging in there. So much so, that they were preparing for his medical care in the future (therapy, surgery, etc.). However, yesterday, he suddenly went down hill very fast and died. How sad for this sweet family. If you think about it, even though you don't know them (heck, I don't know them!), keep them in your prayers. They are a sweet Christian family that has been through a lot.

I was reading a friend's blog today and came across this very intersting article (its linked - just click on "very interesting article") about an Iranian man who made a movie about how Muslims view Jesus and his life. I previously thought that they thought he was just a good man in history. But apparently I was wrong. You'd think I would know this stuff having lived in a primarily Muslim nation for as long as I did! Anyways, just read it. I think you will find it interesting.

Hope you are doing well! God bless!

Don't Swallow Your Gum

2008-01-27T13:17:00.000-08:00

So for years, we have discussed the health problems with swallowing your gum and what could happen if you did (not digesting it for several years and the like). Well my brother sent me a good picture the other day of one very good reason not to swallow your gum. Haha..

How Can This Happen? But It Does...

2008-01-24T20:26:00.001-08:00

I asked myself that the other day after coming home from subbing. I was subbing in a Life Skills classroom yesterday and there was a student in there who's story really touched me and got me thinking. This student was in a wheelchair, probably functioning on a 2 month old level at 8-9 years old. I mean, the highest level thing she could do was press a button on a toy for music to come on. Not much else. She kinda yelled/screamed constantly and put anything and everything in her mouth. Not an atypical student for a Life Skills classroom. Her abilities (or lack thereof) weren't what phased me.

It was a conversation with the aide in there that I had later. The aide mentioned briefly that this child had brain damage. Okay. I asked if it was through a car accident or an illness or what. The aide's voice got real low and she began to share this child's story.

This child was normal when she was younger. Walking, talking, etc. But someone (not sure who - the aide just said "a lady") beat this child. To this point. Within an inch of her life. And she was in a coma for a year. And this is the end result.

Oh how my heart breaks. And I wonder how one human being can possibly do this to another human being. A child. But it does happen....and I've heard similar stories before.

I know this is the exception rather than the rule, but I also know that it happens far more often than we know and/or prefer to admit. I might have students with her story in my classroom in the coming years.

I hate that. But its true life. Its so far beyond me and the life I know and so difficult to wrap my mind around. But its there.

Sobering....

Fullness of His Grace

2008-01-18T20:53:00.000-08:00

"From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another." ~John 1:16~

A Truth I often let fly out the window.

Because I am not exactly working full time, just doing teacher certification stuff and don't have a very full social calendar, I am left with some much needed time to think about things. I think when I originally entered into my current situation, I did not think it was a blessing and more of a curse really. But God has shown me quite the opposite, a lesson I think I really needed to learn.

I also struggle with coveting the blessings of others (horizontal thinking gets us nowhere) and wishing my life were way different and frustrated over the fact that it isn't.

But lately, as I'm learning to focus more vertically, I am beginning to love my life and the things God is doing in it. And I'm seeing the fullness of his grace more and more in my own life. And it is true - I feel as if I am receiving one blessing after another, even if I don't realize its a blessing when I receive it.

Anyways, I just love this passage and how it really puts life in perspective and reminds what He has done for us and His unending and amazing love for us.

Funny Ella story: So, the only toy Ella really likes to play with is these tiny tennis balls made for dogs under 25 lbs (which she clearly is not!). She holds them in her mouth, tosses them in the air, chases them and basically entertains herself with them. Well, one day after work (spending the week with emotionally disturbed children made for an interesting week at work), I was snacking on some baby carrots and dip. Now I know Ella doesn't like carrots, but she wouldn't leave me alone during my snack, so I tossed one on the floor for her planning on picking it up after I was finished eating. Ella looks at the carrot, nibbles it a bit and then she starts tossing it in the air, chasing it around the room and bouncing it off the floor just like she does with those tiny tennis balls! It was hilarious! Who knew baby carrots made such great dog toys?!?! Haha... And FYI, baby carrots actually bounce really well off the floor, even carpets. Anyways, I thought it was cute. My dad took a video, but I seem to be uncapable of loading videos on here.

Hope y'all are doing well! God bless!

Oh, and I got asked again if I was pregnant this week at work. Kids... I know I need to shed a few pounds, but I know its not that bad! Just because every other teacher is pregnant at school does not mean that all of us are! Geez louise! I can't handle much more of this kids asking me if I'm having a baby. Its a little damaging to my self esteem!

New

2008-01-14T12:51:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've felt my heart being prodded to try some new, kinda daunting, things in my life.

One thing I am trying new is running. I've tried it before and been miserable. Completely miserable. But now its not just to lose some extra pounds (although that is highly motivating!) but just to be healthy in general. I've mapped out about a 1.3 mile route to start out with through my neighborhood and will be trying that today. I just think I would feel less tired, have more energy and just feel better about myself if I started engaging in some sort of regular exercise. Now I exercise but its usually random activities and at random intervals. I really like raquetball but once my brother's guest pass at the gym expired, I had no one to play with. My dad likes going to spin class at the gym and its hard to pull him away. Bicycle riding is fun, but I do not enjoy it on my own because a) there is no one to draft off in the wind, b) I am afraid of getting lost, c) its dangerous to wear your ipod when cycling because you can't hear traffic, d) I am still a tad bit nervous around the traffic in Houston, and d) Ella can't go. So giving running a try just seems like a good option to me. I'll keep you posted on my progress. Its going to be hard to be regular at it right now between my work and training schedule, but hopefully I can get a good base going.

The other new thing I am trying in life is keeping a notebook of letters to my future spouse. I've tried it like 2 times before but felt kinda silly and awkward about it. Well last night, Pastor Greg talked about how he did it for his wife and recommended that the singles in the room think about doing it as well. So I figured why not give it another shot? Plus, I've been thinking about the topic lately, so this is a good way to focus those energies and not allow them to consume me. So I wrote one today and didn't feel too awkward this time around. So this too, we will see how it goes.

I didn't post last week so I didn't get to put up the quote from my planner. So this week, you get two! Yay!

"Never change when love has found its home." ~Sextus Propertius~

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved." ~George Sand~

Also, I have decided to start posting some yummy recipes for you to try because I love to cook and I want everyone to share in my joy! Haha... here's one I fed my family a few weeks ago that was a hit and very very easy!

Foil-Pack Chicken and Artichoke Dinner (from www.kraftfoods.com - amazing recipes here!)

Ingredients:
3 cups instant white rice uncooked
3 cups warm water
6 small boneless chicken breast halves (1 1/2 lbs.)
1 can (13 3/4 oz.) artichoke hearts, drained and quartered
2 cups chopped tomatoes
1/2 cup light zesty italian dressing
1/4 cup pesto

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Mix rice and water. Spoon evenly into center of each of six (I only used four) large sheets of foil. Top each with one chicken breast (I cut the chicken into chunks and thought the chicken was much more tender and easier to eat). Cover evenly with artichokes and tomatoes. Then drizzle with combined dressing and pesto.

Bring up foil sides. Double fold top and sides to seal packet. Leave room for heat circulation inside. Place packets in single layer on baking sheet.

Bake 30-35 minutes. Remove packets from oven and let stand for 5 minutes. Cut slits in each packet to release steam before opening.

I hope y'all like this as much as I did!

PS - I don't like tomatoes at all so I just pushed them aside but they didn't ruin the flavor of the rest of my dinner. FYI for those of you who dislike tomatoes as much as I do.

God bless!

I'm pregnant...

2008-01-08T20:38:00.000-08:00

Haha. Not really. But a third grader today told me I was. Love it. I was hugging another student and he yells out, "Don't touch her belly! She has a baby in there!" I thought I was gonna die. And never wear that shirt again! Its one of those with an empire waist line with a sash that goes around and ties in back. The other kids started yelling at him about how rude that was to say that to a lady and I just stood there in shock and horror. And thats how my first day of a four day sub job started today.... it's gonna be a long week!

Anyways, the topic on my mind lately is stillness before the Lord. In the first part of Psalms 37:7, David tells us to, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him...". Stillness is something I do not do very well at all but need to do. I'm going through a lot of changes in my life, sometimes almost faster than I can handle (hence the reason I need the Lord). I have a hard time settling and calming myself down. What does stillness before the Lord look like? I know its shutting myself up and letting Him speak to my heart. And don't even get me started on waiting patiently...another thing that needs improvement in my life. So yeah. Thats all I have. Just something I've been trying to focus on as of late rather than getting so caught up in myself.

Well, must go to bed. Day 2 of my 4 day job is tomorrow and clearly, I need my rest!

God bless!

Planning on Love

2008-01-03T20:41:00.000-08:00

"Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?"

~Henry Finck~

No. I don't have a boy or anything (more commentary to come on that topic later in the post...). But I do have a new planner - an eagerly anticipated purchase each year - yeah, I'm a HUGE nerd! "What does that have to do with love," you might ask. Well my new planner is a Mary Engelbreit planner. This is my second year to have a planner designed by her and they are just precious with pictures and quotes for each new week. Each year also has a unique theme to it and many of the quotes for each week relate to that theme. 2008's chosen theme is "From the Bottom of My Heart" and all the quotes in it are about love, hence the quote for this week I posted above. I'll try and post each new week's quote because they are simply precious and worth sharing.

I decided that this was a good theme for my life this year as well. I want to love God more deeply than I ever have before. I want to love others more deeply than I ever have before. I even want to love myself more. One year in middle school I went to Kanakuk summer camp in the Ozarks for a week. It wasn't a really enjoyable experience (not knocking Kanakuk or anything - it just was not a good situation for me personally) but I did take away a few things from that week. One was a simple acrostic of the word JOY. Jesus first, Others second, Yourself third. Cheesy and elementary, yes, but also a good way to put things in perspective in life. Thats how I want to love, like I previously said. I want to know what the Word has to say about love (a work already in progress) and the infinite ways that Jesus loved. I want to learn from others and how they truly love. I want to learn more about love as a choice and as actions rather than just the "feeling" the secular world promotes. I really just want to understand more deeply what love is and what it needs to look life in the life of a Godly woman (because that is what I seek to be). So this, folks, is my big resolution for the year (and for life really...).

Anyways. I mentioned above about boys and that I would comment on that. I was blog stalking around some today and read a girl's blog that said she wanted to have sex in '08. That was her resolution. She is a Christian and was basically referring to "finding a mate in '08". Pretty bold statement but as I've mentioned before would be something I wouldn't mind happening in '08. Or '09. Or just someday (hopefully sooner than later...)! But I'll leave that in God's hands because He has a much better plan than I do (and I'm not just saying that to hopefully make myself feel better - I really do mean it).

However, I decided that a half serious, half joking resolution of mine would be just to go on a date in '08. A real date. I have been on a couple acci-dates (where you don't know you are on one until later - surprise!). I've taken boys as dates to KXA functions when I was in college (but seriously - you have to ask the boys to those). I've been set up on a few blind dates that never really worked out. Dating just hasn't ever been my thing. I want to go on a real date. One where the boy asks if he can take you out to dinner or to do something fun. Where its obvious its a date and he is interested in getting to know you a little better. Even if its just one or two, I'm okay with that.

Now you might say this is out of my control. Yes, that is partially true. And since it is sort of not in my hands, I'm okay if it doesn't happen.

But there are a few things I can control. I really inhibit myself a lot of times from even getting to know boys at all. Mainly because they scare me. I know for one I am horrible at making eye contact. I feel like I'm sending the wrong message if I maintain 2 seconds of eye contact. Yeah, I'm ridiculous. I avoid complimenting boys on things because again, I don't want to send the wrong message. I shy away from conversations where I have to share my opinion or feelings on a topic because I don't want them to think I'm ridiculous for thinking or feeling one way or another. I'm so focused on not sending the wrong message that I leave myself little time to send the right message. And by the right message I don't mean, "hey, take me on a date". I mean, "Hey, I think you are nice. We could be good friends. Etc., etc., etc.". I know much about good personal communication skills. But I can't seem to use those skills that I use well in other arenas when I am talking to someone of the opposite sex. Oi vey. I'm a mess. I have a dad and brother. I should be okay with boys!

But the truth is, I'm not and I need to make some changes. Not just to get a date. That's not my goal in life (mainly just a nice idea that I hope would happen). Honestly, I think a lot of this stems from low self-confidence on my part and lack of love towards myself. I often in the back of my mind trick myself into believing that I am not worth it, boys like other girls better than me, other girls are more worthy than I am, I am ugly, etc. But I know these are the lies that Satan has planted deep within me (and most girls) and I am allowing them to take root in my life.

I want to stand on the promises and truths that God has given to me and fully believe in them and live my life in such a way that displays this. God wants His promises and truths displayed in us. We were created for that. And I'm not just talking about dealing with the opposite sex now (although thats how this topic started). I'm talking about all areas of life, big and small.

So thats my other big resolution for the year (and life too...): to allow His promises and truths to be displayed in my life.

Amen.

God bless.

PS - I tried to put spaces in my post between paragraphs so it would be easier to read. But Blogger wouldn't let me do that. I'm having trouble with the formatting. So I apologize for the gigantic neverending paragraphs that are my blog posts. Love you!

Vertical Perspective

2008-01-02T21:57:00.000-08:00

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

~Hebrews 12:2~

So like the last post I heard about this topic twice in a short span of time and felt it was fairly noteworthy and worth some thought. The general idea is that we ought to look vertically towards Jesus rather than viewing the world horizontally and looking at others. I don't need to compare my life and what God is doing in it to those around us. He has a unique plan for each and everyone one of us and will be faithful to complete it. But if I am so busy focusing on the lives of others, how can I possibly be focusing on my own life and what God is doing in it?

I just need to be looking up. My life is between God and I and what He wills for it. Looking at the lives at others is a) a lack of faith on my part and b) sometimes breaking a commandment - coveting thy neighbor. It also can cause me to miss the beautiful things He is trying to do in my life because I'm so distracted by the lives of others. Yes, I can definitely learn from the lives of others and should do so. But I shouldn't base my life around theirs. We all have our own joys, blessings, sacrifices, idols, etc. And my life is not going to be identical to anyone elses. My focus needs to be on what is occurring between Him and me so that His purpose in me can be carried out. Looking at the lives of others is bailing out on Him and His plan.

So as I enter this new year, another resolution and I can add to the list is a more vertical perspective and a less horizontal one.

God bless!

Post #3 for the evening...

2008-01-01T20:17:00.001-08:00

I felt like splitting up my posts this evening was a better idea (and easier for me).

I just had some random thoughts that really didn't fit in my other 2 posts.

One thing I've been thinking about lately is God's 400 years of silence. I hadn't really given it that much thought before but I heard it mentioned twice in one day so I figured God was trying to tell me something. I knew there had been a silence from Him. But geez! 400 years! And His followers waited that long in eager anticipation and faith that He would speak again. I get upset when God is silent for even a few days! But I also think He uses that silence to still us and to prepare our hearts for when He does speak. Maybe I should appreciate the silence more (even though it is a harsh reminder of my sins) and ready myself for when He does speak to me.

Another thought on my mind is the frailty of humans as well as their dominant position over other creatures of the earth. Seriously. There are many many animals out there that could rip us to shreds in seconds flat. We wouldn't even know what hit us. And we really aren't strong enough to stand up to it or even fight back. Yet we are at the top. I know our intellectual capabilities (although I question some - okay many - members of our species) put us steps above them but seriously. I think our weakness and frailty keeps us humble to a certain degree. I think if we possessed both intellectual and physical prowess, our world would be an even more messed up and crazy place than it already is currently. Just an interesting juxtaposition of superiority and frailty in my opinion.

Okay, enough lackluster philosophical thinking from me. I like pondering deep things but I do not always possess the ability to articulate them well nor debate them anyone. So I'm done.

In VERY exciting news - I'M GOING TO BOSTON IN MARCH!!! I found a good deal on plane tickets so I will get to see my favorite happily married couple who are on a grand adventure there! I have been wanting to go since they moved their last June and my dream is coming true :0) I wanted to do something around spring breakish time and after some playing around with ideas and doing some research I decided that it was time to make my first visit (of hopefully many more!) to Boston.

So my computer is about to run out of battery power so I need to go. I hope y'all are doing well! God bless!

Excited for the New Year! - Post #2

2008-01-01T19:49:00.000-08:00

So I don't think I've been out doing something fun for New Years since I was like a freshman in high school (you think I'm kidding....oh how I wish I was!). My family has always had like family friends over or last year I went with my brother to his friend's house and hung out with her and her family. Nothing too exciting. But this year that changed!! I got to dress up and everything! Luckily, I had several dresses from KXA semiformals in the past to choose from (and luckily, almost all of them fit!). Ashley had also lent me a really pretty dress but I opted for a slightly less formal one (thanks though Ash! I really loved the dress!)

The singles ministry at the church I'm attending (HFBC) put on a party/dance/game night thing and it was so fun! Some people from my class went to eat at this sweet little italian place by Memorial City Mall before the party and then we headed on over to the party. I mainly just socialized and danced all night long! Too much fun! Jenny went with me too so that was really great :0) I love the people in my class and ringing in the New Year with these precious people was such a treat! Below are the 3 pictures I took of this fun night.

Jenny, Me and Jonathan

Some really fun girls (Jenny, Me, Staci and Kate)!

My sweet precious friend Jenny and I looking hot in our great New Years hats!

As far as resolutions go, I don't really make official ones but I do have some ideas of things I would like to accomplish in the coming year. Here are a few of them:

Increased faith, more pressing into Him and more discipline in my spiritual life.
Like everyone else in the world, eat better, exercise more and hopefully, lose weight. I know I don't look horrible or anything but I don't feel good about myself. I just want to feel comfortable about myself and how I look (although, I really am coming to realize its not the most important thing in the world).
Get a job (finishing teacher certification), move into my own place and really establish myself as a somewhat more self-sufficient young single adult.
Learn how to budget my finances better (I've been somewhat learning....but I haven't done that well....)
Try more new recipes! I just love to cook :0)

So thats just a few ideas I had. What are yours!??!

I hope y'all have very blessed coming year! Yay!

Funny story - We found out that Ella is terrified of fireworks! We were all out last night and when my parents returned, they couldn't find her anywhere! Finally after much searching (and panicking!) they found her..... in my bathtub! Haha...who would have guessed?!!?

Christmas - Post #1

2008-01-01T19:16:00.000-08:00

I'm doing 3 posts tonight. One for Christmas, one for New Years and another post of my most recent random thoughts, news, etc. Here was Christmas at the Stewarts:

Ella being very excited about one of her yummy gifts!

Rachael Ray pots and pans! Yay! Now I just have to wait and get my own place so I can use them...

Dad being really excited about his new coffee maker for the new house :0)

Grandma and Grandma sporting their "Ask Me About My Granddog" tshirts that Ella gave them

Yay for a GPS system! Now I won't be as lost in Houston :0)

Ruby playing with the only Christmas present she's ever gotten...poor kitty!

I got my dad 10 beers from around the world (he likes trying beers from different places) for Christmas. Here's just one of them!

Mom overjoyed at getting her Roomba for the new casa!

Kyle trying on his jacket I got him for Christmas. The best part about this jacket is that I got it 60% off at JCPenneys!

Excited about the digital photo frame my brother got them :0)

And last but not least (probably should have been first) the picture of our small but sweet Christmas tree and the presents before they were opened.

Christmas was pretty exciting at our house. We are truly blessed :0)

Wedding Dreams

2007-12-29T20:19:00.000-08:00

Ever since I was very very little, my dreams have always been extremely vivid and seem extremely real and believable while they are going on in my head. And when I have one (its not a nightly thing for me...just every few weeks) I tend to mull it over in my head over the next few days (what happened, why it happened, why I dreamed about it, etc.).

But last night, I am very bothered by my dream. No one died. No one was sick. Nothing bad happened. I dreamed I was getting ready for my wedding. Should be a happy one, right?

Now, like most girls, I like to think about my wedding every now and then. Its fun. I like to plan events and things. I like collecting ideas. Its just something I think about from time to time.

But I hate dreaming that I am actually having a wedding. For one, I never seem to be ready or prepared in my dreams. Its right before the ceremony and several huge things are not done (in this most recent one, I had on ugly black shoes and could not find the white ballet slippers I wanted to wear). It stresses me out. And its like this in every dream. I am largely unprepared for the day and can't seem to get my act together. Another thing that bothers me is that my soon to be husband is always a mystery guy. Sometimes I never see him (like I'm getting ready in the bridal room or something...). Other times I'm getting ready to walk down the aisle and there is just a figure there but my dad and I are still way too far away to see his face. Last night, I could kinda see the guy's face (kinda fuzzy...didn't really remind me of anyone I know). But what bothered me most last night is that my fiance/husband was kinda cold and distant. I had worked hard on a sweet letter to him for our wedding day and had given it to him. He was kinda just walking around the church before the wedding, seeing me before the wedding and then just kinda shrugged at me and said, "oh, thanks for the letter" in a rather nonchalant manner. It was horrible and cold.

But I think what I hate most about these dreams is that they make me focus on something I'm trying not to focus my energies on. I really am desiring to enjoy there here and now and cherishing my singlehood. But like most girls, I go through phases where I just so badly want to be married (or even go on a date....sheesh!) and I get extremely green with envy towards my friends that are already married or are about to be married. I was doing pretty okay with not being upset about it until last night's dream.

I could analyze this dream til I'm blue in the face. Part of me wonders if it is a reminder to not think that once I am married and such that my life will be fixed and everything. I used to be naiive and believe that. But I am observing a lot of my friends who are around that time in their life and realize this is just not true. Marriage is a beautiful thing but it seems to come with its own set of unique difficulties that us as young single adults do not currently face. I also think this dream reminds me that I still have some deep-seated fears of being seriously involved with a man. I haven't dated in 3 years and my last relationship was quite the flop. And honestly, as nice as it would be to go on a date and have a boyfriend or whatever, it kinda scares me too. Boys as friends aren't threatening. Boys as more than friends is intimidating to me even though its something I desire. So enough analysis about my weird dreams.

But they are making me struggle. I just wish I wouldn't have them. If they are daydreams, I can cut them off and move on. But these night dreams, I can't stop until they are over no matter how much I want them to.

I want to be content where I'm at. I don't want this strong desire to control me. It shouldn't and it can't. But if I'm being 100% honest, there are phases I go through where it does. Ugh.

I'm not quite sure why I felt compelled to share my thoughts on these dreams. But I did. So there. Does anyone else have this issue? I wish I didn't!

Anyways, Christmas was pretty good. Got some very sweet and nice gifts that I am more than enjoying. Some things, I have to wait to enjoy. I got a set of Rachael Ray pots and pans (blue, not the ugly orange!) but will have to wait until I move into my own place to use them :0(. Oh well. Something to look forward to! I will post pictures of the day in my next post. Hope all of your Christmases were good and you were blessed. Love you!

Happy Birthday/Anniversary Ella!

2007-12-24T10:12:00.001-08:00

So today marks one year that Ella and I have been together! I decided that since this was the day I got her, it would be her unofficial birthday as well because who knows when her real birthday is (I'm not even sure exactly how old she is even!) so Christmas Eve seemed like a good day. For her birthday, I got her microchipped in case she runs off so I can find her again. It probably didn't feel like much of a present (it involves two large needles!) but its good for her and since she is a roamer and a wonderer, its rather necessary. My mom had gotten her some cool bones at PetCo but yesterday, she got bored, went into my mom's closet and since my mom had "hidden" them on the floor of the closet, Ella just helped herself. She ate four out of twelve dental chew bones (now she has really clean teeth!) and half of a large meat filled/flavored bone. I really thought she would get sick from all that but she didn't (Praise the Lord - for real! I was expecting a fairly nasty mess!)! Today, I found a recipe for dog birthday cake online so I baked it for her and will frost it with cottage cheese later. Yes, I am obsessed with my dog. But who wouldn't be with such a sweet face like that!?!?

Merry Christmas Eve! God bless!

Shag Dancing?!?!

2007-12-23T20:40:00.000-08:00

So last night, we were visiting my dad's cousins who live in The Woodlands. You must understand that my dad's side of the family is fairly large (my late grandfather was the youngest of 10) and has some rather interesting members. These cousins (a brother and sister) mentioned that their younger brother (another cousin) who is from Carolina was in to Shag Dancing now. We all kinda looked at each other with puzzled looks wondering just what that was. When I hear the word "shag", some cool dance that older relatives are all impressed by is not what comes to mind! So, I went on Google to search for some video clips of this and found exactly what this was. It actually is kinda really cool! Here is just one video of the many I found. Apparently this style of dancing is mainly done in the Carolinas and much is done at Myrtle Beach. Let me know if the video works are not. If it doesn't, I found a lot more I can link you to. Check it out! It is pretty neat.

Hope y'all are doing well and surviving the craziness of the season! God bless!

Santa Paws

2007-12-21T07:45:00.000-08:00

I was subbing for this really great third grade class the other day and their assignment was to make up their own version of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. Some of them were having some difficulty with the assignment, so I did the assignment myself and here's what I came up with. Its not that great and it doesn't really rhyme but thats okay. The name of the Santa character - Santa Paws - was also not my own creation. I had just put Santa Dog for lack of any other idea and one of the little boys in the class came up to me and said, "What about Santa Paws for your story? Get it? Santa Paws instead of Santa Claus!" I told him it was such a great idea that I was going to use it. And that I did. Now why didn't I think of that? Oh and this is written from Ella's point of view, of course.

'Twas the Bark Before Christmas

'Twas the bark before Christmas

And all through the doghouse

Not a creature was stirring

Not even a cat.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

In hopes that Santa Paws would soon be there.

The puppies were snoring all snug in their beds

As visions of treats and bones danced in their head,

And Mom in her human bed and I in my dog bed

Had just settled down after much gingerbread.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,

I barked from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash

Barked at the shutters

As Mom threw up the sash.

The moon shown bright on the now yellow snow

And made all things shiny and icy below.

When what to my big puppy eyes should appear,

But a giant flying bone and eight tiny puppies so dear:

With a little old driver, who had big furry paws

I knew in a moment it must be Santa Paws.

More rapid than kitties his coursers they came.

And he whistled, and barked, and called them by name:

"Now Fido, now Cookie! Now Snoopy! And Sparky!

On Clifford! On Spot! On Bruiser and Barky!

To the top of the doghouse, to the top of the wall!

Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the house-top the puppies they flew

With a sleigh full of dog treats, and Santa Paws too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard but not saw

The sniffing and scratching of each little paw.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Santa Paws came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his paws,

And his fur was all dirty from rolling in soot just because.

A bundle of bones he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled!

Those big eyes how merry!

His nose was all wet and looked much like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the fur of his snout was as white as the snow.

The big rawhide bone he held tight in his teeth,

And some more treats by his feet just beneath.

He had a sweet little face and a rather plump belly,

That shook when he walked, from eating too much jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly ole pal,

And I howled when I saw him, for I'm not a quite gal!

A wink of his eye and a cock of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He barked not a bark, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

And putting his paw right up to his nose,

And giving a yip, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a bark,

And away they all flew for a quick walk in the park.

But I heard him bark twice as he flew out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Anyways, I wanted to share what fun I was having subbing. Again, I realize this isn't that great (although with some more time spent on it could probably be really cute). I'm just bored and post just about anything. Hope y'all are doing well! God bless!

A "Mary" Christmas

2007-12-20T21:32:00.000-08:00

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." ~Luke 10:38-42~

The Lord has really laid this on my heart during this season. Especially today. Like I said, I tend to get really wrapped up in the going-ons of the holiday season (gift buying, wrapping, food planning and preparation, etc.) and forget myself and what I really need to be doing. I think I do this in life in general a lot. I get distracted like Martha. It is ever so hard for me to have the posture of Mary when my sinful nature tends to bring out the Martha in me. And I get frustrated with others when they aren't doing what I think they should be doing. And the list goes on. Martha and I seem to be twins separated at birth (and by several centuries...haha). I just love this passage because it resonates so deeply within me, almost as if it was written just for my heart.

But what I really need to be doing is laying at His feet, soaking Him in. I'm in a season of a lot of changes, decisions, etc. and I need to be there now more than ever. I can't figure out what He wants from me if I'm not willing to listen and am consistently pouring myself into various other things in my environment.

So I'm praying this season that my Christmas is more "Mary" and less "Martha" (although, I'm sure Martha was a beautiful person as well but just as conflicted as the rest of us!).

One prayer request - I found out yesterday that some sisters in KXA who are a few years younger than me unexpectedly lost their father on Monday. And not only is it just these two sisters, but they have four other siblings as well. I can't imagine what their mother (or any of them for that matter) is going through. I don't know these girls very well at all (they were pledging as I was graduating) but my heart aches for them and their family. So just be in prayer for them as not only is such a loss so devastating, but especially so close to Christmas.

Hope y'all are enjoying the holidays so far! God bless!

I Have a Masters Degree....Now What?!?!

2007-12-18T14:00:00.000-08:00

So like I said in my previous post, I graduated from grad school this past weekend! Here are some (not so great) pictures of the festivities:

So that was my exciting weekend. It feels so good to officially be done! After the ceremony, we went to the Cheesecake Factory and celebrated. Too much fun.

Anyways, now I'm just continuing subbing, getting ready to start preservice training (classes) for teacher certification and really not much else.

God bless!

Light at the End of a 21 Year Long Tunnel!

2007-12-13T21:20:00.000-08:00

So on Saturday, a rather momentous occassion will occur. I will finish my 21 year long stint of a schooling career. I started preschool at 3 and am FINALLY ending school at 24. PRAISE THE LORD!!! Now this doesn't mean I won't go back later or anything but I am so glad to be done with the papers, the tests, the late night studying and the craziness of it all. I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything but I am very glad they are finished :0)

Unfortunately, for my teacher certification, I will be in class 3 times a week, one time online and will be taking tests and such for it. Not really school but still! I will be done with all that junk in April and hopefully well on my way to being a teacher.

Anyways, just wanted to check in before I head up to Denton. I am leaving tomorrow morning and will be stopping in to see my Bear Creek (the school where I worked last year) friends and students and then will be heading up to Denton to stay with Ashley and Lauren! Yay! I've seen Ash a couple times since leaving but I haven't seen Lauren since August so I am very excited to spend some time with these lovely ladies! Yay!

God bless!

Happy Trails To You

2007-12-10T06:08:00.001-08:00

So I took a risk this weekend. I went camping (thats not the risk - I love camping!) with my new church group not knowing very many people very well (there's the risk - if you know me, you know that this is a pretty scary thing for me!). TOO MUCH FUN! I am so glad I went. Here's how it all went down.

We met at some girls apartment on Friday evening, packed all our stuff in and headed out to Stephen F. Austin State Park (near Sealy and San Felipe - ridden my bike there a couple times). I rode in the car with 3 other girls and they were so great. Two of us were new and the other had moved away a couple months ago but had come in town to go camping with us. The other girl had been going for a while and caught us all up on what was going on with the group. The other new girl actually knew Ashley and had gone to Dulles HS with her and their brothers had played baseball together (Ashley, I'll tell you about this later!). The other girl that had come back in town was so precious. And she made me feel so much better about my decision to teach. She had just finished a Masters in Public Health and then decided that really what she wanted to do was teach and now teaches Kindergarden in Weatherford (near Ft. Worth). So I'm not the only silly one that gets a Masters in something random (although, mine is related) and then decides to teach. The girl that had gone to the group for a while is a middle school teacher in Ft. Bend and she was telling me all about FBISD in case I decide to apply there.

Anyways, after some missed exits and turns, we finally got to the campsite. We all just kinda sat around the fire and talked and then went to bed. It took me like 4 hours to fall asleep that night. I kinda knew that was gonna happen anyways, but man was that a long 4 hours! It didn't help that I was also sleeping right on top of a tree root.

The next morning we all woke up. Some went running (haha... not me! give me a bike any day, but no running!) and some of us just got ready for the day. I figured since a shower (we use the term shower here very loosely) was available, I might as well take one so I at least start out clean.

After that, we all had breakfast (eggs, sausage, fruits, etc.) and then went on a hike. It was fun. We got some good pics (although, I don't have any - my camera is currently in South Africa with my dad). Then we came back and ate lunch. It was chicken noodle soup. The girl who did the food thought it was going to be much colder on the trip so hence the warm and hearty food. However, it was like 80 degrees. Oi.

Anyways, after lunch we kinda sat around and then took off to play soccer and some California kickball (a kinda crazy mixed up version of kickball - you need to play sometime!) It was fun but pretty warm outside. After that we came back and sat around for a little bit. Cooling off mainly. Then we played Charades and that was A LOT of fun and very funny. We were supposed to go on a caroling hay ride after that but for whatever reason, we did not. Oh well.

We then returned to our campsite and had hobo dinners for dinner. If you have never tried one of these you need to! All you do is put an uncooked hamburger patty, some mixed vegetables and some frozen french fries all in some foil, sprinkle with seasoning salt, wrap it all up and then stick it on some coals for a while until done. After they are done, you can put ketchup or cheese or whatever on it and enjoy! Surprisingly good. I really didn't expect much but I liked it. And they weren't too greasy or unhealthy either because nothing was fried.

After that, we had some really good praise and worship time and sat around the fire just talking and fellowshipping. We turned in fairly early that night because we were all so exhausted. I slept pretty well despite the circumstances I think because I was so exhausted.

We woke up the next morning a little damp from all the humidity and dew. We kinda packed up our stuff, ate some lil smokies and waffles (eggos heated up over the fire - who knew?) for breakfast and then broke down and cleaned up our sites. Just as we were leaving, it started to drizzle so it was perfect timing!

So that was my fun weekend. I really really had a good time. Unfortunately, I have returned with some pretty bad chest congestion which will hopefully clear up soon. We shall see. The people in my group are so great. They are funny, honest, not afraid to be themselves, accepting and overall just wonderful and most importantly, Godly. I just love being with them! Community with them is such an answer to prayer and I'm so excited to get more involved and to develop deeper relationships with them. Last night at church, Shane and Shane and Bethany Dillon (who is engaged to the not married Shane) led worship and it was SO amazing! I need to download or buy some of their music because it is very powerful and they are just amazing. After church, we all headed over to Pei Wei (yay!). Again, great fellowship! Also, dinner after church often brings out more people in our class and some that aren't as involved so it was good to meet more new people and find out about their lives. Jenny also got to go with me last night so I had a good time with her and she calmed my nerves in bad traffic and confusing directions!

Okay, so that was a long post. I have more to say but will save it for later. Hope y'all are doing well and congrats to my Baylor and UNT friends who are finished with finals! Yay!

Little Elves

2007-12-06T16:39:00.000-08:00

My brother made this. Too funny. I had tears in my eyes from laughing. You NEED to watch it! Haha...

I think you should make your own!

Current Events

* Got accepted to Region 4's teacher certification program today! So now I'm on my way to being a special ed teacher and I'm pretty stinkin' excited :0)

* Got to eat lunch with Ashley today and that was so wonderful! We tried out California Pizza Kitchen at Memorial City Mall. Neither of us had every been and it was super yummy! We shared a white pizza (four kinds of white cheese and spinach) and each had a really good ceasar salad. If you get the chance to try that restaurant, I highly recommend it! I am so excited for Ashley (and Gibson!) to move back to Houston next year.

* Almost done with Christmas shopping! Yay! I think I only have 2 people left to finish up and I have some ideas for them. I think the hardest person is my dad. He has all the bike stuff he needs. He has all the coffee stuff he needs. There's nothing he really wants or needs. So what do I get him? Its a tough one...

* I think my church hunt is over!! PTL!! I decided to go back to Houston First Baptist and am attending the Sunday evening class, MetroLink, and service. Its been amazing. The people there are not only extremely friendly, welcoming and inclusive but also, they are Godly, authentic, amazing men and women that I am excited to get to know more. I am going camping this weekend with them and couldn't be more excited! I love to camp and this will give me a good chance to get to know and fellowship with them more. The church and all the activities are quite a drive for me but have proved to be more than worth it. I am truly blessed...

* Just substituting around the district and its gone pretty well! Today, I got a letter from the sub office with a sub evaluation form filled out from one of the teachers I subbed for. Usually when you get those, it is NOT a good thing at all and that teacher wants you removed from the campus. No one really fills them out for doing a good job but they can if they want. A teacher I subbed for two days this week had filled one out and said I was doing a fantastic job. Its always nice to be affirmed and it blessed me a lot to get that today. I was nervous when I was opening it because I felt like I've been doing okay subbing! Hehe..

* I graduate next weekend!! Yay yay yay!! I really thought this day would never come! I will officially be DONE with school (for now anyways) and its so exciting to be able to say that after being in school since I was 3 (I'm including preschool).

Okay. I think thats all. I hope y'all are doing well. Christmas is coming! God bless!

Disabled Veterans

2007-12-01T17:44:00.000-08:00

Today I rode the Independence Ride in Wallis, TX benefiting disabled veterans.

Now what image comes to mind when you think of an average disabled veteran?

I think of an older gentleman in maybe his 60s or 70s.

Reality really hit today at this ride.

Many of the disabled vets that were there were young. Very young. My age. My brother's age. It broke my heart.

I'm not really sure where I stand on the war. You would think someone who grew up in the midst (literally!) of the Gulf War would have a strong stand one way or another. But I don't. I see things wrong with it and I see things not neccessarily right, but justified with it. Maybe I'm a pacifist by nature and don't really understand how human beings can do these things to one another and feel okay about it. I dunno. It boggles me.

Anyways. Its just been on my mind all day. My brother could be one of those guys now saddled in a wheelchair and fighting for his independence. And the amazing sacrifice that these very young men (I didn't see any women today but I know there are some) made for their country. I'm not emotionally patriotic or anything but I do love my country (not everything about it but in general) and feel very blessed to be an American citizen. And these young vets are putting their love into action. How humbling.

Otherwise, besides sobering, the ride was pretty good. I started off fairly strong (for me anyways) and had a good tailwind behind me. However, as I turned the corner the sidewind and later the headwind hit and man oh man. I was dying. I opted to do a shorter route (40 miles) than originally planned (60 miles) but feel I might have died if I had gone an additional 20 into the wind (and that whole extra 20 would have been into the wind...oi vey). I told my dad I would do 60 miles next time we rode and then he informed that there really weren't anymore organized rides like this until January. Oh well. Enough about cycling.

I finally finished putting up all the Christmas decorations and am fairly pleased. Its nothing special and certainly not perfect but I like it and it makes me very happy :0)

My mom got back from Florida. She said it was okay. Apparently my grandma is turning into a somewhat unpleasant and manipulative elderly woman. I still love her and she is definitely not that way to me that I know of, but it still makes me hurt for her. I know she is frustrated and depressed but I really just want her to be happy, have a full life and know that Jesus loves her. Just keep praying for her. Her health is not so wonderful (my mom had to give very clear instructions to her on how to eat appropriately - she has dropped 20 lbs. in the past few months and thats a lot for someone who is only 4'11! Now you know where I get height from) so yeah. I dunno. Just lift her up if you think about it.

Okay I think I've typed enough for now. I have various thoughts and pieces of news so I'll try and space it out over the next few days.

God bless!

Its Beginning to Look A Lot Like CHRISTMAS!

2007-11-29T17:34:00.000-08:00

Well, I didn't get a sub job for today so the day was spent picking up around the house, running some errands AND doing Christmas shopping and decorating! How glorious! I just love this time of year and start eagerly anticipating its arrival around my birthday (in September - go ahead and make fun). This year however, I have been instructed to scale back on Christmas decor because my parents are showing their home on a regular basis in hopes of selling it and I've had to scale back on my shopping b/c of lack of a job (there is exciting news on the horizon - I'll share more in a later post once things materialize). But I still love the spirit and buzz of activity that occurs during this time of year, so my spirits aren't dampened too much. Plus, the decor, shopping and whatever else are not really what the season is about anyways so maybe having to scale back on what I normally get caught up in will help me to focus all my attention on why there is even a Christmas season at all and for that lesson/reminder I am blessed and grateful :0)

A general update on life...

2007-11-21T15:57:00.000-08:00

So, my updates have been a little scattered as of late as well as more about certain special events in my life as opposed whats happening overall. So I decided it was time for a general update on life.

Job/ Internship: Just 3 days left of my internship! Pretty glad about that. So ready to get a real job and get paid for it :0) They might offer me a job there and I'm thinking about taking it and working there while I work on my teacher certification. We'll see. I'm not entirely sure about that plan at this point.

Teacher certification: I have applied and am waiting for my transcripts to come in. Hopefully that will be next week and I will have everything in by December 14 (thats the deadline for me since I applied on November 14).

Ella: Took her to the vet today. She was so good. Still testing positive for Lyme Disease so they gave me some more medicine for her in hopes of clearing it up. If she still tests positive for it after that it just means she has antibodies that are producing a positive on the bloodtest. She got her immunizations today and was so good. Didn't even flinch one bit. The nurse muzzled her at first to do some things (neither Ella or I were very happy about that) but that was taken off and things went fine. Tonight she will probably get an ice cream treat for being so good at the vet. Yeah, I'm a sucker. I just feel so bad taking her there because she is so miserable and stressed out when she goes. Haha... Otherwise, she is doing great. She misses having another dog around to play with.

Church: I've decided to go back to HFBC. I think it is worth the drive. I went to their Sunday night singles class and then the church service and really loved it. I also saw my friend from Baylor, Andrew Ginakis, so it was good to see him there too. In a few weeks, the singles class is going on a camping trip and I think I might be brave and go despite not knowing anyone in the class. I guess I'll really get to know people that way! Haha..

Boys: What do you think?? Haha... I wish I had exciting news here but I don't. Someday though. I did have a dream last night that I was getting married. It was the night before and I realized I had forgotten to order the cake and get photographers and was super stressed about it. Then, at the beginning of the ceremony, the pastor called off the wedding and sent everyone home because a lightening storm was coming. I was depressed after that in my dream. Not to mention my dress was super ugly too. Weird.

Living situation: Trying to move out within the next few months. Difficult though. I need a townhome or something of the like with a backyard for Ella. She really is too big and too active of a dog to be left at home all day and then to not be able to roam around free of a leash for a while after I get home. Her breed especially is inclined to roaming so I really feel that she needs that leash-free roaming time. I'll still walk her and such but she really does need that yard. I've found a few things but they are 3 bedrooms and I don't need that. Two is a lot and I would be okay with it but I'd really just prefer 1. We'll see. Just pray that I find what I need at the time that I need it.

I think I covered everything. This week has been good. Kyle came home yesterday so I've been hanging out w/ him and the fam. Yesterday we went to WalMart and I got the Hairspray DVD and we watched it last night. So great! Today, I went to lunch with Ashley, one of my old roomates and got to catch up with her. It was so good to see her. Too bad lunch couldn't have lasted longer but we both had stuff to do. I'm excited because she is moving back to Houston sometime next summer so she can start her LSSP internship year/first year in either Katy or Fort Bend ISD. I might be teaching Special Ed in one of those districts so maybe she can be my LSSP! Haha...

Hope y'all have a happy Thanksgiving. Get excited because the radio stations start playing Christmas music around the clock tomorrow. Yay! I've been listening to the radio station I listened to while living in DFW online because they started playing Christmas music November 1. Some people are really perturbed about it but not me! I love it!

God Bless!

Ren Fest!

2007-11-19T15:12:00.000-08:00

So this past weekend, I had the delightful and rather interesting experience of going to the Texas Renaissance Festival up near Magnolia. I have wanted to go for the past 8 1/2 years (when I moved here from Saudi) and I finally got the chance. I went with Audrey, her boyfriend, Andrew and Mina. Too much fun. And too much food! Haha... After more than 5 hours of walking around and seeing all there was to see, here are the pictures! Beware though...apparently showing a lot of cleavage and in some cases a lot of skin in other places so if you see any, don't be too alarmed. It took me a couple of hours of being there to not be so shocked by it every time I saw it. Anyways, here are the pics!

Mina enjoying a giant turkey leg

Barbarians dancing (it was Barbarian weekend @ Ren Fest)

Jousting tournament

Andrew being very talented at the stick juggling thing - he has some serious skills!

Audrey (she's sitting opposite of Andrew) and Andrew in a cool swing

Some lady's cool peacock feather dress

I love these cool hammock chairs! It felt really good to sit in after walking around that much. If I had any money, that is one thing I would have bought myself :0)

A girl doing amazing stunts. Yeah - she's only hanging onto two pieces of fabric. Pretty cool. She was a tiny girl but had amazing muscles to hold herself up like that!

Cool swing we got to go on :0)

My feet while we are swinging :0)

I love listening to bagpipes. This guy and the other guys he was playing with were jamming.

Riding an elephant with Audrey :0) Yeah, that elephant is taking a leak. Its not just your imagination.

Belly dancing. That one lady in the middle was actually pretty good!

And this picture isn't from Ren Fest. Its a picture of the business next to where we ate dinner later that night. Read carefully what it says on the window. Anything strike you odd?

So Ren Fest was busy and fun. I highly recommend it but make sure you a) bring good walking shoes b) bring a good amount of money - its not necessarily a cheap thing to do on a weekend. But worth it.

Update on my grandma - She came out of surgery fine and came home from the hospital today. She's still weak and feeling yucky but otherwise okay and my aunt is there to help her out. She wanted to stay in the hospital longer but said the treatment by the nurses and other staff there was so horrible that she had to leave. Hopefully she'll keep getting better instead of worse. Just keep praying for her!

Anyways, I have more to say but this post has gotten long enough. Maybe tomorrow.

Hope y'all are doing well and gettin' excited for Turkey Day! God bless!

PS - I'm having formatting problems w/ this post so if it looks a little funny, I can't help it! I tried to fix it a couple times but it keeps reverting back to what it was before. So sorry!

Pray For My Grandma Please!

2007-11-13T18:06:00.000-08:00

My sweet grandma is having surgery tomorrow (its either gastrointestinal or urological - I'm not sure which). She has been in a lot of pain the past few months, so hopefully this will help alleviate her misery. My aunt is flying out next week to take care of her once she gets out of the hospital and then my mom is flying out after Thanksgiving to stay with her for a while too. Hopefully this will be a sweet time for them despite the circumstances. They don't always get along with each other (my mom's family is kinda crazy) so hopefully they can put their differences aside and enjoy the time together. Also, my grandma isn't really saved either, so maybe some more seeds will be planted during the next few weeks. She thinks she's going to heaven because she is a good woman and doesn't do bad thins, but as far as any relationship goes, there isn't really evidence of one. Anyways, just pray that things will be already, healing will be speedy and love and warmth will surround during her time with her daughters.

I'm trying to decide whether to get certified to teach. Its a big decision and not one I need to rush into or take lightly. But I do need to make a decision soon her as the deadline to apply and register for January trainings is fast approaching. It involves a pretty significant financial commitment. I think its what I want to do, but I feel like I jump around a lot from thing to thing because I can't decide. Maybe I do and maybe I don't, but I just want to stick with something, do it and do it well. I think I would be a good special ed teacher. I was a good aide. My feelings about my internship ebb and flow so I'm not sure if I do or don't want to do it. I like the part of working with the families and like most of my coworkers, but not much else. I dunno.

Anyways, excited about this weekend. Probably going to the Renaissance Festival with Audrey (and maybe some others - let me know if you want to come - all are welcome!). I have wanted to go every year for 8 years and I think the time has come! Yay!

Hope y'all are doing well. God bless!