Broken ears

Then Jesus said, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear." ~Mark 4:9~

I think my ears are broken.

Seriously.

Because I can't hear anything.

Or maybe I'm just refusing to do so....

I have been praying for months about where to go and what to do next. But with no answers. I've come up with some ideas and a few half-baked opportunities have presented themselves, but nothing solid as of yet. And even the half-baked ones overwhelm me and I have no clue what to do with them.

I think the anxiety that I allow to rise up w/ in me with every new opportunity speaks too loudly so I can't hear God's sweet, gentle voice speaking to me.

And I feel like I've been doing this for a while. My brother is on a mission trip to Thailand and I'm jealous of him and mad at myself for not seeking out those opportunities while in college. I just went home to Houston every summer except for the last one and was pretty miserable for the most part. But that time has passed and I don't want to live with regrets. However, I do want to take that and make sure I don't sell myself short of an abundant life in the present and in the future.

But where do I find that abundant life? Colorado? California? Houston? Elsewhere?

I have a lot of friends and my parents in Houston and that sounds great. I could have adventures there. I do hate the city of Houston, but love my friends and family. But I don't want to go somewhere and be lonely. But I want adventure and the life abundant.

But I think I'm doing too much of the talking and not any listening.

I'm in such a quandry (and yes, I said quandry...I'm a nerd and love fun words....but I'm okay with that).

Any advice for maybe the most confused girl ever?

God bless!