Not what I expected...

Okay, so my next post was totally gonna be about Guatemala. And the one after that was going to be about some of the things the Lord is teaching me right now in life. And maybe a post about some goals/resolutions/ideas for the new year.

But as a lot of life goes, this post isn't what I expected to be making.

My mom is back in the hospital. On New Year's Eve, my dad called me in the morning and said they were taking my mom to the ER for shortness of breath. Oh, and I sincerely apologize now to any of my close sweet friends that are finding out like this. If you have ever had a medical emergency or anything in the family, you realize that sometimes it just isn't possible to call/text everyone and keep up. So its not that I didn't want to tell or didn't think you were close enough to tell. Its just life is crazy right now, so don't be too mad at me! Anyways, turns out the blood clots she had on her lungs in May came back. Yuck. Just as serious, just as life threatening. And just as scary.

I am not sure why and I am sure the Lord has His purpose, but again, He has saved my mom again. Most people who get this - pulmonary embolisms - don't even have a warning and die very suddenly. I have even had friends whose parents passed away from it. I am not sure how that makes me feel. Very mixed emotions. Grateful that I am not losing my mom, for sure. I have watched too many friends grieve over the loss of a parent taken too soon. Scared because who knows when He won't choose to let her live. I know my mom's health is horrendous so I'm kind of always on edge about her life anyways. I don't know. It was just a sobering way to spend the New Year.

So yeah. Just be praying. Pray that she continues to heal. She spent 2 days in the ICU and now they have moved her down to a regular room and are waiting for some level in her blood to hit 2.0. Then she can go home. She is breathing much better. So healing is happening. Pray that she will be motivated to care for herself. This time wasn't necessarily her fault, but its source comes from a preexisting condition that was. Pray that I am not bitter about her health. To be uncomfortably honest, I get very upset and bitter about my mom and her health. It is not a Godly attitude and something I struggle with a lot and need to surrender on almost a daily basis. Its hard watching someone literally kind of waste their life away and do nothing and care to do nothing about it. Especially when it has been a lot of your life. So you are seeing my weakness and vulnerability here, but I do need prayer in that area of my life.

Anyways. New Year's was fun. My parents told me to go out anyways. I went to the Rockets game and after party with my singles ministry at church. Pretty cool. Not so much a Rockets fan, but I had never been before, so it was interesting to see. Danced at the party. I love a good dance party! Ate at IHOP until 3:00a.m. I've never had really such a fun New Year's event with such good friends, so even though the circumstances in my life surrounding it were bad, it was a good break and distraction. My brother and his sweet girlfriend came too, so it was fun to spend the New Year with my baby brother!

Hope y'all are doing well and sweet blessings upon you for this exciting new year!