Exciting!

So, I had kinda given up on moving to Colorado honestly. Hadn't really heard anything back from anyone I had sent my resume to and maybe figured that was God's way of closing the door on that.

But....

This morning a lady called me and basically said that she was very interested in having me as an intern and we talked for like half an hour about the opportunity. She is sending me a packet from their HR department that they have all their interns fill out and I am sending her my references. It sounds promising.

But...

I think I have a big decision coming and the way things are looking it will either be Houston or Colorado Springs. There are pros and cons to each that make it hard to make a decision (which is a weakness of mine in the first place)

Colorado Springs
pros - amazing place to live, good internship opportunity, adventurous, somewhere I could see myself setting down roots, a lot of people my age, outdoorsy

cons - pay is most likely less than Houston if I get a job there, no job guaranteed after my internship, less financial support during my internship from parents, don't know many people up there

Houston

pros - higher pay if I get a job, more guarantee of a job (maybe), friends and family close by, more financial support from parents during internship (I could live with them), familiarity with area

cons - I don't like Houston, not as adventurous, I don't want to get stuck there

What do y'all think? I mean everything is still in the preliminary stages, so things could change before I actually have to make a decision, but these are my inital thoughts based on the direction things are going at this point.

Anyways, despite the debate, I am really excited that things are getting moving for my internship. Be praying that God will show me where I need to be and that I will follow Him, no matter what.

God bless!

Prayer

"...prayer is not all about how long we can stay on our knees. It is more to do with developing a resonance between our spirit and the Holy Spirit (Romans 8: 26-28) allowing outrageously free intercession. It can happen 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and in this way, there’s no need for it to stop."

~When Would Jesus Do, Andrew Horton, Relevant Magazine~

More to come on this topic later....I love the idea of resonance between our spirit and the Holy Spirit. What a sweet idea that is...

Broken ears

Then Jesus said, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear." ~Mark 4:9~

I think my ears are broken.

Seriously.

Because I can't hear anything.

Or maybe I'm just refusing to do so....

I have been praying for months about where to go and what to do next. But with no answers. I've come up with some ideas and a few half-baked opportunities have presented themselves, but nothing solid as of yet. And even the half-baked ones overwhelm me and I have no clue what to do with them.

I think the anxiety that I allow to rise up w/ in me with every new opportunity speaks too loudly so I can't hear God's sweet, gentle voice speaking to me.

And I feel like I've been doing this for a while. My brother is on a mission trip to Thailand and I'm jealous of him and mad at myself for not seeking out those opportunities while in college. I just went home to Houston every summer except for the last one and was pretty miserable for the most part. But that time has passed and I don't want to live with regrets. However, I do want to take that and make sure I don't sell myself short of an abundant life in the present and in the future.

But where do I find that abundant life? Colorado? California? Houston? Elsewhere?

I have a lot of friends and my parents in Houston and that sounds great. I could have adventures there. I do hate the city of Houston, but love my friends and family. But I don't want to go somewhere and be lonely. But I want adventure and the life abundant.

But I think I'm doing too much of the talking and not any listening.

I'm in such a quandry (and yes, I said quandry...I'm a nerd and love fun words....but I'm okay with that).

Any advice for maybe the most confused girl ever?

God bless!

Sleep is good...

For whatever reason, I slept a ton this weekend. No reason. Just did. Its unusual for me too because I'm not much of a sleeper. But I slept a lot this weekend for no apparent reason. I'm not working, so I'm sleeping enough during the week. Very unusual. But I guess my body needed it. It sure did feel good. Lazy. But good.

Otherwise, this weekend was a pretty good one. Yesterday, Ashley and I went to Transform @ the Village's new campus in Denton. Although their original plans got rained out, it was still a sweet time of prayer and worship. I also sat next to a group of girls my age who all are in the same home group and they invited me to come. So even though I'm probably only here for 2 more months, at least I'll have fellowship with what seems like a really fun and down to earth group of girls. Praise Him. After that, Ashley and I both came home and took really long naps. We then did some stuff around the house, met the great Meghan Merchant (she's a rockstar, really) @ Red Robin for dinner. Very yummy. I've only been there once before, but I loved it. We went to church after that. It was a good service. The worship was amazing as usual and the message, powerful. After that, we came home and Ashley baked some brownies and I made my icing for my cake decorating class that was today. We were going to do one of my exercise videos/DVDs but my hips and back were really achey for some odd reason.

Today, I slept in way late (well, for me at least). I got ready and then went to cake decorating class. That was pretty fun. Royal icing is hard to work with sometimes, but it sure does make pretty flowers. Since it was rainy and humid today, everyone's icing was acting funny, but overall, it was fun. Our final class is next week and we are making are finale cake. Unfortunately, our instructor wants us to make the one in the book and I think it is a super ugly cake, but oh well. It will taste good and will have some pretty flowers on it. Hopefully, I can make pretty cakes later on b/c I practiced on this one. This one is just to flowery and not well designed at all. After cake class, I came home and Ella was bouncing off the walls. Since it had finally stopped raining, her and I went for a walk so I could get some much needed exercise and she could burn some energy. After that, I worked on some homework, made a real dinner (not just heated up a frozen one or ate a sandwich for once!) and now I'm back to homework/blogging. I'm a very exciting person as you can tell by my eventful and exciting weekend. Haha. I need a life.

Speaking of life. Still waiting to hear back from the places I've contacted and waiting for God to reveal to me where exactly He wants me. I honestly have no clue. Honestly, Houston seems like the easiest at this point, but am I selling myself short like I've felt I've done in the past for something easy? Or does God really want me there, despite me thinking of it as lack of adventure? I dunno. I really am just focusing on seeking His face first of all and then having faith that He will make the rest just be clear to me and fall into place. The unknown is scary but what a sweet time it is proving to be. I feel like I'm wandering around in the desert, but God is meeting me there and speaking sweet words of love and wisdom to me (see Habbakuk). I hate it but I love it at the same time.

God bless!

Steeeeerrrrriiiikkkeee!

I went bowling tonight with Ashley and another friend. I love bowling (despite the fact that I stink at it). Hence, the title of this post. No other reason. I did get two strikes though, so I'm very proud of myself. :0)

Anyways, on goes the saga of me trying to figure out where I need to be come this fall. The guy in CA from Young Life called me today and talked to me a little about the position, life in the OC (I didn't realize they actually called it that), cost of living (don't get me started) and about Young Life and Capernaum's vision in general. Tomorrow, he will be calling me back to kinda hear my story, where I'm coming from and what I'm thinking. I told my dad about it and he immediately went to financial concerns, which are founded, but unsupportive kind of. I mean I know he just wants the best for me and doesn't want to see me struggle financially, especially with a bachelor's degree from Baylor and a graduate degree. Even the guy I was talking to told me upfront that this job was like a "glorified peace corps". But, even though finances are important, I wish that wasn't everyone's first comment. I don't know. I also emailed some people in Houston about an ECI internship and actually got a response back from one of them requesting more information and telling me that she might be interested. Thats the first response I've gotten for ECI internships. And even though I was originally not thinking Houston, I felt a strange peace and excitement come over me getting her email. I don't know. I'm so confused. But God will make His will known. Thats today's update on that situation.

Otherwise, life today was homework, homework, job searching, more homework. My life is thrilling really. I know everyone wants to be me. Hehe...

God bless!

Holding on for dear life!

So, have you ever been tubing (like the tube tied to a speed boat and it drags you behind it)? I've been a couple times and its a crazy, exhilirating, frightening (and occassionally painful) experience. You hold onto those handles at the front of the tube for dear life and basically go wherever the driver of the boat decides he/she wants to take you and how fast/slow he/she goes. Sometimes you fly off and sometimes (this hasn't really ever happened to me) you hang on until its the next person's turn. Fun is had by all.

The above experience is what I am equating life with today. I got an email this morning from Capernaum (Young Life) saying that the intern position in Seattle had just been filled (after being posted for 2 months) but that my application would be emailed to the national office in case anyone was looking for someone like me. I was okay with that and knew God had it under control (and was a little scared of Seattle and the rain there anyways), so didn't really give it much more thought. Well that changed tonight during class. I looked down at my phone and realized I had a missed call and a message from a number I didn't recognize. So during our break, I listened to my message and almost fell out of my chair when I heard it. It was the regional director for Young Life in Orange County, CA. The first thought that came to my head was the show "Real Desperate Housewives of Orange County" being as that is my only knowledge of that part of the country (I went once when I was 8 and all I remember is spraining my ankle when jumping from the top of a bunk bed) so yeah. Basically, they just have opened a position to work with Capernaum (again - thats the division of Young Life that works with youth with disabilities - right up my alley) for their club of 45-50 youth. And get this - its not only an intern position - its an area director position. I am so humbled that they would even consider me. No job offers have been made or anything and I haven't called the guy back yet (thats tomorrow morning so pray for me!) but how cool! I would have to talk to my advisor to make sure this position would count as my field experience/internship but I think it would because not only is it working with the kids (which I'm really most excited about), but also with their parents, other volunteers, donors, committees, etc. Now a move to CA definitely scares me a tiny bit (okay maybe more than a tiny bit) but ya' know - God's got it under control. He knows I'm scared even about the possibility of this happening. I want to follow Him wherever (even if I feel like I'm on a wild ride!) but thats exciting to me. I haven't felt this excited about something in a long time. Even though its just a thought right now, its still exciting. I guess I just ask that you, my faithful readers, pray that God's will be made known to me as I walk through these steps, that my fear and anxiety would not control those steps but that I would let God do that and that I am obedient no matter what. I don't want to be distracted or afraid of the "wind" like Peter was in the story I posted yesterday but fully believing and keeping my focus on Him and not being of little faith as well as being okay with abandoning all to follow Him.

Anyways, I do want to profoundly apologize if all this has come as a surprise to you because a lot of you are my close friends. Actually, none of this really even happened until like 2 or 3 days ago, so its a surprise to me too. I just happened to be on Young Life's website looking for a job for a friend of mine and started looking at other jobs on there too and like I said, felt compelled to apply. I beg your forgiveness for my lack of communication but between the endless amounts of time I am putting in on my school work these days and the fast pace that life is changing at these days, I haven't really had time to update anyone (my parents don't even know this stuff yet - my dad just knew I had put in an application for Seattle but thats as far as it goes) so yeah.

Hope life is well for y'all (if I move, can I still say y'all?? even though I'm not Texan by nature, I still like to say it) and God bless! Mucho love!

Sweet times in daily life

So I decided that I want to update this on a more regular basis. I used to just wait until I was ready to make a huge post about something significant, but I feel like daily life right now is significant. I like when other people write on a pretty regular basis, so I think I will do the same.

Life lately has consisted of school work and thats pretty much it. I babysit for a family every Tuesday night and really am enjoying that. They have a 3 year old and an 18 month old, both boys who are the cutest, sweetest best behaved kids ever. They love to cuddle and are very laid back so fun times are had by all when I am over there.

Today, I applied for an internship with Young Life's division for youth with disabilities, called Capernaum. Its in Seattle, a place I had originally ruled out as a place to move, but I felt really compelled to apply, even if nothing comes of it. But God is challenging me to do things that scare me, so I did it somewhat out of obedience. Although this internship is different than what I have been planning, it is something I think I would love and be passionate about and would also probably count for my internship to finish my Masters. I'm still looking at different places in Colorado (which I loved!), but am trying not to limit the places God can take me. Him and I have been battling it out the past few days. My fear and anxiety and desire for what is "comfortable" has been very controlling lately and I think God is really trying to push me out of that so I can see what He can do. I feel something big on the horizon. It may not be a big thing to anyone else, but it might be to me. I was reading in Matthew 14 yesterday where Peter walks on the water and then falls because he becomes afraid of the wind and doubts God's power over it and decided that that story was a very accurate description of what I am walking through right now. Here's the excerpt I was reading (its Matthew 14:25-31):

During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

How amazing is our God? Even though I basically sit at home all day working endless hours on school work (or finding ways to avoid it), He has been speaking to me in profound and deep ways that I haven't experienced in a long time. How sweet it is.

Anyways, because all I do is school work basically, there isn't really much else to say. So the end for today.

God bless!

From Relevant Magazine....

Shaking Frustration
Lindsay Goodier

I have a confession: I am a recovering frustration-aholic.I’ve spent the last 11 months of my life feeling like I’m not fulfilling my calling in life, allowing frustration to eat away at me like a moth on an old sweater. I’ve wondered countless times, God, if You’ve given me this great vision for my life, why does it seem it’s not coming to pass?

In the midst of job and location frustration, I set out trying to make God’s will happen in my life on my own. I’ve looked for many other jobs that I thought were possibly God’s calling for my life for now. I’ve considered moving. I’ve even thought about adopting a whole new batch of friends—anything to drown the current frustration out with waves of newness.

But in my search for a change in the day-to-day, I’ve only come up more frustrated. One of my spiritual heroes, Joyce Meyer, says, “Frustration is a sign I am acting independently. The more you try your own way, the tighter the doors will stay closed.” But God, what do You expect me to do when You aren’t changing any of my circumstances and things only seem to be getting harder each day?

For the answer to my frustration-filled questions, I started reading about our challenge-ridden Biblical friend Job. Job was a man purer than any man on earth, yet God allowed Satan to steal his offspring, wealth and even his own health. Surely Job had a right to be frustrated after his children died, after his cattle bit the dust—and most certainly after his own body was covered with boils! After he lost everything except his grouchy wife who told him to curse God, he had every reason to believe that his purpose in life was worthless—to throw in the towel like even his best friends encouraged him to do.

Yet Job’s steady response to the gnawing of frustration was, “Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him (Job 13:15, TNIV).”

Job gave up his right to have a happy life. He surrendered what he thought his life could be or should be and allowed God to do whatever He wanted with him. In the end, God did redeem Job and returned to him everything he lost and more. But Job had to walk through the valley before he could stand upon his mountain.

I’m learning that freedom from frustration only comes when I surrender my dreams and my ability to make them come true. When I realize that my attempt to make God’s will come to pass in my life is about as ridiculous as a 4-year-old driving a Ferrari, I can’t help but hand the wheel over to Him. In the sweet release of surrender to God’s way, you will see Him open doors for you that you never even knew existed.

Rough day

I had a really rough day today (actually its been a rough past couple of weeks), but today was particularly difficult despite class being cancelled. Anyways, in light of this, here is a picture to make you smile because everyone needs a happy picture now and then.

My sweet girl on her bed that matches my bed!

Anyways, thats all for today. I need to update this thing sometime soon, but we'll see when that happens. Life is crazy right now and will not slow down until like August. Oi.

God bless!

Holy Moly!

Ok so I have a big decision coming up. Last night I was talking to my advising professor and she informed me that I needed to decide where I wanted to my internship in the fall and to base that decision on where I wanted to work (the internship is likely to lead into a job). I knew I would have to decide closer to December where I wanted to live but turns out I don't have that long. I need to start making contacts for my internship site pretty soon here. Basically, she told me have it decided before May. So basically, I need to decide where I want to live by then. Eeekkk! If you know me at all, you know that decision-making is not one of my strengths. Here are my options thus far:

1) Stay in the DFW area. I don't particularly like the area but I like the church I am going to.

2) Move back to Houston. I hadn't considered this option previously, but its sounding a bit better than it used to despite my disdain for Houston. I would be close to my parents (maybe living with them for a few months), there are good churches in the area and I would have some friends there as well.

3) Take a risk and move somewhere random (Colorado, California, whatever).

Anybody got any brilliant ideas? Just pray that God would reveal to me where He wants me and I would be open and willing to follow. I wouldn't hate ending up in any of those places but I just don't know what is right for me at this time in my life.

In other news, I got a phone call and email today informing me that the trip to China I had applied to go on was full. So, although I could resubmit my application for a later trip, that is not in the cards right now. I'm not that upset because I knew God would place me there if He wanted me there.

In very exciting news, my baby brother just got accepted as a Big Brother for KXA! Oh he is going to be so wonderful at it!

Anyways, I really need to go to bed. The kids at work are wearing me out this week so I need all the sleep I can get!

Wishy washy

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

~ 1 Corinthians 15:58 ~

Something I've been challenged more than ever with this year is standing firm and being who God has created me to be. I just feel like that while I'm trying to please God and live a life worthy of the calling, I simultaneously live a life that is aimed at pleasing man and fitting in. I change who I am to fit in with whoever I am with. I pretend to like things that I don't, I change my accent depending on where I'm living (something I've done since age 3), and I say things that I don't mean. But I guess what really gets me is that I don't stand firm in my faith. I pretend like its not a big deal when I'm with some people and act like its the biggest deal when I'm with others. Faith isn't about pleasing or impressing others. It bothers me that at work that they don't think I take my Christian faith as seriously as I do. I hide it. Why!?!?! So I can fit in and not stick out. Gross. I'm very good at playing the part of the chameleon. On one hand, thats a strength meaning I'm adaptable to whatever situation I'm in. However, I think it is definetely a weakness because I don't stand firm in what I do and don't believe. No one knows who Lara really is - they just know whatever face I put on for them. And its funny because something I admire most in others is authenticity and genuineness. I want honesty from others but don't live up to that expectation myself. I want people to appreciate me for what God has created me to be, imperfections and all. I sometimes wonder if (slash know) that is why I struggle with moving to a new place and meeting new people. And also why I've never had a serious relationship past a month and a half. I want to be comfortable with me and not care whether its pleasing others or not. Why do I have this overwhelming obsession with appearing perfect and pleasing to man even though I know I'm not and know it is displeasing to God?

Again, a bunch of random thoughts thrown together. But on my heart nonetheless.

Happy March everyone!

Awake!

Awakening Chorus

Awake awake! and sing the blessed story;
Awake awake! and let your song of praise arise;
Awake awake! the earth is full of glory,
And light is beaming from the radiant skies;
The rocks and rills, the vales and hills resound with gladness,
All nature joins to sing the triumph song.

The Lord Jehovah reigns and sin is backward hurled!
Rejoice rejoice! lift heart and voice, Jehovah reigns!
Proclaim His sov'reign pow'r to all the world,
And let His glorious banner be unfurled! Jehovah reigns!
Rejoice rejoice rejoice! Jehovah reigns.

Ring out! ring out! O bells of joy and gladness!
Repeat, repeat, a new the story o'er again,
Till all the earth shall lose its weight of sadness,
And shout anew the glorious refrain;
With the angels in the heights sing of the great Salvation,
He wrested from the hand of sin and death.
______________________________________________

I really love old hymns. We sang this at church last night (in a more modern version) and I thought it was beautiful so I am sharing it now.

Anyways, I've been thinking about going to China for 10 days in June with my church and am still unsure whether or not I should apply. I sent an email to the Missions Pastor at church, but since his wife is having/had a baby, I am still waiting on his reply. Here's what I asked him:

1) What specific activities is the team involved in? I know on the website it says relationship building and the like, but is it working with the coffee shop that the Village has there or in some other capacity?

2) How much training is involved and when would the trainings be? I work during the days and attend class two nights out the week, so before I turn in my application, I need to be sure I can actually make the whole commitment.

3) Here's my biggest question and what I'm battling with the most. I grew up overseas (Saudi Arabia) from age 0-15 and traveled extensively during that time. Because of that, I have a very strong passion for traveling and like to go anywhere basically. I'm not sure if I really am called to this trip or if I just want to travel. I would hate to be signing up with alterior motives that are not aimed at serving God, but rather at serving myself. I do have a passion for missions and feel called to be invovled in missions in some capacity, but am I really called this time or just wanting to travel? I know you can't answer that question for me, but I thought maybe you might have some wise words of guidance for me.

4) Does one need to be a covenant member of The Village in order to be eligible for serving on a team? I have been actively attending the village since June '06 and sincerely do want to become a covenant member. However, during the fall, my class schedule prevented me from joining a Home Group, which is a requirement for membership eligibility. I am currently trying to find a group (haven't found one just yet) but my heart is definetely passionate about serving at The Village and being involved in ministry there.

I've been praying over those questions a lot and still haven't really felt a strong pull one way or the other. The prospect of going to China and ministering there excites me, but I don't know if I am called. I have a peace that God will take care of whatever obstacles are in my path (money, classes, work obligations, etc.) but part of that is I know He has done it before, and if He wants me to go, will do it again. If anyone has any thoughts or guidance, feel free to let me know!

Anyways, I had a lot of thoughts to put down here, but nothing coherent comes to mind right now. I'm off to lunch with my buddy Jenni!

Lots of love and God bless!

As of late...

So I've had good intentions of posting but somewhere in the shuffle of life, updating my blog ranks pretty low on the priority list of things to get done. So here's what has been happening as of late:

• I got a dog for Christmas! Her name is Ella (after Ella Fitzgerald - she sings!). She is a 3-4 year old Siberian Husky who is very sweet and affectionate with lots of energy and enthusiasm. Ella and Gibson (Ashley, my roomate's dog) are getting along pretty well unless one takes the other's bone and they get in a fight (leaving a nice bite mark on my hand from an attempt to break it up). There's a picture of her at the bottom of this post.


• Work is going ok. I'm still working at the elementary school as a special education assistant. I love my kids (they have their moments, however) and I really will miss them next year, especially my little girl with Down' Syndrome, Alexis. I have a strong love-hate relationship with her (its mutual) but she is teaching me as much as I'm teaching her. My co-workers are doing ok, but are sometimes more frustrating than the kids. I don't know if its just the school I work at or its this way everywhere, but everyone seems to be so catty, gossipy and sometimes vindictive. It can be a very hostile environment some days. Luckily though, my lunch time has been pushed back a little bit so I will be eating lunch with one of my closer work buddies, Melissa. What a blessing :0)


• Still thinking about what I want to be when I "grow up"/finish my Masters. Right now, I'm leaning towards Early Childhood Intervention/Child Development Specialist. It would be a good job allowing me to work with the population I want (disabled/special needs children and their families) and some flexibility to move where I want (who knows where that is!?!?). I was thinking along the lines of working in camps for children with disabilities, but I think I may get some experience first and then work my way into that area or even start my own camp (a family camp maybe?). Mainly, I'm just focusing on drawing near to God and letting Him do the guiding and moving, because we all know my ability to make decisions is limited at best. This curent leaning towards this path could be different in a week, but thats ok. I still have until mainly this summer to decide (I graduate in December and need to do an internship/field experience in the fall semester).


• Over the Christmas break and continuing on now, God has been working on several areas of my heart. The main area is worry/anxiety because it without a doubt is my biggest problem. Its something that often controls me and prevents me from a lot. Its something I tell myself constantly that I don't need to be doing, but yet its always there and difficult to escape for me. If only I could just let all go and let God take the reigns. But as many times as I say it and earnestly want to do just that, I never seem to be able to lay it all at Christ's feet. Anxiety/worry is a sin that others might not see in you because it isn't as external as it is internal. I don't seem to struggle as much (I do struggle though...dont' get me wrong) with external sins as I do with internal ones that somehow, I tend to keep well hidden most of the time in fear of seeming imperfect (another battle of mine). I need like an anxiety alert that goes off so others can see it and call me on it. Oy vey. Other areas God is faithfully working on are patience, living and seeing beauty in the present (not focusing so much on the future), being closed off to God, family and friends, fear (another one He is constantly trying to work on in me), fakeness and being critical of myself and others.


• One thing that often is at the back of my mind (and occassionally the front as well) is my future husband. I often find myself daydreaming about even just having a boyfriend, planning my wedding and so on. I think a lot of single women my age fall into this daydream trap. While its fine to think about it, it isn't okay to live for it. I think the environment/culture I'm in puts a lot of pressure towards getting married and starting life. I went to my church in Houston over the Christmas break and it was overwhelming in that sense. There are 3 girls younger than me who are married and have babies, 2 who are expecting their first baby and about 10 more who are about to get married. When you talk to these girls and explain to them that you are single and have no real prospects, they look at you like you are from a foreign country and possibly have something wrong with you because of the lack of diamonds on your ring finger. A lot of people do it at that church. Not everyone, but a lot. Its like if you aren't engaged by 20 and pregnant by 21, you missed the boat. You are the fat kid in the dodgeball game in elementary school. I know I'm not those things and haven't missed any boat, but its hard walking into an environment that seems to be somewhat of a marriage and/or baby farm. Graduating from Baylor (Ring by Spring capital of the world) probably didn't help much either. I often have to step back and remind myself that I'm only 23 and have a lot of life left to live and do things with. I have a very strong desire to get married and have a family, but is it really so bad to wait until you are 25, 26 or maybe even later? ( I would prefer not to wait that long, but maybe God wants to do something with me during that time to glorify Him). There are lots of women my age and older who are single and perfectly normal. I need to remind myself that some of the environments I feel pressure from aren't "normal" in every situation/place. I'm just tired of being pressured to be in such a rush to "start life" when I think my life is fine and is growing. Often easier said than done in terms of where my heart lies sometimes, but the truth.

Anyways, it was a long post, but its a cold, rainy, icy Sunday afternoon, so it was a good time to spend some time sharing what was on my heart. Hope everyone is well!

God bless!

J-E-L-L-O

So there's something I've been wondering since 4th grade when we first learned about the differences between liquids, solids and gases in Science class.

Is Jello a liquid or a solid?

My dad maintains that from an science/engineering perspective, it is a type of liquid (I forget the big word he used). However, many websites have suggested that at different temperatures, it is a different type of matter. What do you think?

Birthday cake and more!

This weekend has been pretty fun. On Friday night, I went to the Village Singles Christmas Shindig. It was ok. Kinda awkward, but still fun. When you walked in, you got assigned to a group (ie - being separated from your buddies) and that was your scavenger hunt group. The people in my group were nice, but I probably will never see them again as they go to different services or different churches, so yeah. Oh well. The only way you meet people and develop relationships is to get out there. One exciting gain from the evening is that I saw people I worked at Sky Ranch/went to Baylor with and they invited me to come every Sunday to a gathering they have of all these Sky Ranch people in the area. I thought it would be far away because a lot of them work in Dallas, but its only in Lewisville, which is only about 15-20 min. away from me. So that was exciting.

Semester 2 of grad school is about to wrap up (I have one take home final to finish today) and then I'll be done. Only a year left until graduation! One of those semesters will be spent doing field experience, but who knows where that will be??

Also, my dad found a dog for me this past week and I will be taking a look at her when I get home for the holidays. She's a 40 pound Siberian husky with the bluest eyes ever. She seems perfect. Here's what her foster mom said about her:

"My foster Mommy named me after some lady named Ella
Fitzgerald? She said something about my singing all the time. I do like to sing
to my big rottie friend, Goliath. Sometimes I can get him to sing back to me
although his is more like a grumble. Mommy says something like an Ella
Fitzgerald and Joe Cocker duo!

I hear my foster Mommy telling everyone what a sweet girl I am
and that she would love to keep me. She said if she keeps all her fosters, she
can not help the next one that comes along and needs her.
I love to snuggle. When my foster Mommy is laying down trying
to go to sleep, I like to jump up on the bed and lay down and cover her to make
sure she is warm. It seems natural to me, maybe because all my ancestors did
this to keep their owners and children warm in the snow. "

And here's a picture of the beautiful girl:

Anyways, now I'm gonna clean my room (I'm a neat freak that can't keep her room clean. Go figure.) and work on some homework and then Christmas shopping!

Hope all is well with you! Much love and God bless!

PS - a quote from a song that I found quite quoteworthy: "Fear not, I will pilot thee." Simple yet profound.

Cake #2

Here are the pictures of my latest creation! Some of the flowers are cute but some you can't really tell that they are flowers, but thats what practice is for! I took it to work today and got offered money to make a cake for one of my coworker's daughter's birthday party. How exciting!

Anyways, here's a thought to chew on that Matt Chandler said at church this past week:

"Be where you are or you will miss ALL that is currently beautiful."

Christmas is coming! :0)

Christmas Music on the Radio

So, I have thoroughly enjoyed the radio stations that play Christmas music 24/7. However, I have noticed one peculiar thing. Many of these stations are secular (Sunny 99.1 in Houston and 103.7 in DFW) but play a lot of Christmas songs that mention the birth of Jesus and his coming to save the world. Not that I am opposed to this in any way - quite the contrary - I love them! However, these stations would normally be very adamant about not playing anything with a Christian influence in their regular broadcasts. So why is it perfectly acceptable to play songs about Baby Jesus and his saving of the world now, but not at any other time? Its a double standard - one that befuddles me.

Anyways, Thanksgiving break has been good. I definitely do not want to return to work on Monday. However, the break has also been full of writing two huge papers and it will feel good to get rid of those this week. After they are turned in, I am pretty much done with school for the semester aside from finals, which should not be too bad. Only a year longer until I'm (hopefully) done with school forever and can be a real human being. Studying and writing papers is getting old real fast. I am not sure what I want to do or where I want to work, but God is faithful and will reveal that to me in His own timing. Hopefully the limbo phase will not get the best of me.

Anyways, back to writing papers. Hope all is well and Turkey Day was great!

My First Cake!

So, I went to my second cake decorating class yesterday and actually got to decorate a cake! So fun. I was a little frustrated at first because I couldn't get the icing out of the icing bag and my hands were killing me, but then my instructor came over and solved the problem by thinning out my icing - apparently, despite following the recipe, my icing was much much too thick. After that, we were good to go! Anyways, here are pictures of my very first cake!

Anyways, enough about cakes. I'm very excited about Thanksgiving break! I have the whole week off of work, but still have class. Thats ok. Despite having to work on papers, I get to sleep in and do whatever I want, so I'm ok with that.

Anyways, hope your Thanksgiving break goes well!

Surrendered

I just love my church. No I'm not really involved yet (that could be changing in the next few weeks with the beginning of the special needs ministry) but when I go there, I just feel peaceful and know that God is truly in this place. Anyways, Matt Chandler wasn't speaking last night, but another pastor, Paul Matthies (sp?) was and I really like him too. Anyways, he said a quote last night that I could not pass up posting:

"The best life is a surrendered life."

Anyways. Thats all. There's really not much to say after that. Chew on it for a while.

Excited about Cake!

While I was out doing a little shopping today at Michael's, i made a very exciting discovery! They were offering Wilton Cake Decorating Courses every Sunday this month! And not just that...for 50% off! So starting tomorrow, I will begin my adventrues in cake decorating...maybe I'll achieve my dream of being on Food Network someday! Haha...j/k. Anyways, I'm extremely excited and if you are nice to me, I might even make you a cake!