Haha... no, I'm not sad because I'm single but I do think whoever came up with the acronym in my title was fairly clever. It gives me a good chuckle every year. In my mind, Valentine's Day is just another good excuse to wear lots of pink and eat some chocolate (although oddly enough, I am wearing a purple shirt today and ate very little chocolate... go figure). However, I certainly wouldn't mind if a cute boy wanted to spend this day with me! Haha..
One thing I've been thinking about a lot lately is generational sin and its role in my life. Its a tough thing to look at and something that is very scary to me. I can see myself falling into patterns that my mother, her mother and my mother's mother's mother have laid out. I want to break the chain. I don't want to be like that. I love them all very very much but to be honest, some of the sins they are or have been entangled in are nothing I want to be part of. However, they are very difficult to escape. I want to flee from them. I want to break that chain. I want to set a new precedent for my daughter(s) if I have any. One sin that has bound all of us (myself included) is food and our attitudes towards it. We all struggle with our weight just genetically speaking but add food issues along with that and its a pretty scary ball game. My grandmother smokes so she won't eat so much and gain weight. My mom has issues with food too. I'm starting to realize I might have some as well. No, I'm not obese but I'm certainly not at a healthy weight for my height and age. Another issue we all struggle with is the desire for control over others in our lives. It can get pretty bad. I have several stories about my family and this issue. No bueno. I want to be free of these sins. I don't want to be the next generation that falls captive to those holds. So yeah... pretty scary stuff.
If I could just ask for prayer for myself (I feel awkward asking this, but feel like I need to). I am really struggling with a lot of self-image and self-concept issues and consequently, some depression issues as well. Really having a hard time there. I know in my head that I am His beloved and His child, but my heart is beating to a different tune and I can't seem to get it back on track. I hate how I view myself which further perpetuates the problem of trying to be okay with myself. Anyways, its a vicious cycle that I desparately want out of but am finding little relief from.
In other prayer requests, please please please pray for my friend Audrey and her family. I spoke with her for a few minutes this evening and have been following her emails and journal. The doctor has basically given her dad just a few days to live. She is doing as well as possible given the circumstances. Please just keep praying. I hate to see such a sweet precious friend going through such a nightmare as this.
In good news, my teacher certification exam went well and my unofficial score report that I got indicates that I passed and scored fairly well. This means I can now be hired as a teacher because I am considered "highly qualified". Haha...but yeah. So glad it's out of the way. Thank you to those of you who prayed for me and wished me well. It worked!
Hope your Valentine's Day was good, couple or not. God bless!
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