Planning on Love

"Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?"

~Henry Finck~

No. I don't have a boy or anything (more commentary to come on that topic later in the post...). But I do have a new planner - an eagerly anticipated purchase each year - yeah, I'm a HUGE nerd! "What does that have to do with love," you might ask. Well my new planner is a Mary Engelbreit planner. This is my second year to have a planner designed by her and they are just precious with pictures and quotes for each new week. Each year also has a unique theme to it and many of the quotes for each week relate to that theme. 2008's chosen theme is "From the Bottom of My Heart" and all the quotes in it are about love, hence the quote for this week I posted above. I'll try and post each new week's quote because they are simply precious and worth sharing.

I decided that this was a good theme for my life this year as well. I want to love God more deeply than I ever have before. I want to love others more deeply than I ever have before. I even want to love myself more. One year in middle school I went to Kanakuk summer camp in the Ozarks for a week. It wasn't a really enjoyable experience (not knocking Kanakuk or anything - it just was not a good situation for me personally) but I did take away a few things from that week. One was a simple acrostic of the word JOY. Jesus first, Others second, Yourself third. Cheesy and elementary, yes, but also a good way to put things in perspective in life. Thats how I want to love, like I previously said. I want to know what the Word has to say about love (a work already in progress) and the infinite ways that Jesus loved. I want to learn from others and how they truly love. I want to learn more about love as a choice and as actions rather than just the "feeling" the secular world promotes. I really just want to understand more deeply what love is and what it needs to look life in the life of a Godly woman (because that is what I seek to be). So this, folks, is my big resolution for the year (and for life really...).

Anyways. I mentioned above about boys and that I would comment on that. I was blog stalking around some today and read a girl's blog that said she wanted to have sex in '08. That was her resolution. She is a Christian and was basically referring to "finding a mate in '08". Pretty bold statement but as I've mentioned before would be something I wouldn't mind happening in '08. Or '09. Or just someday (hopefully sooner than later...)! But I'll leave that in God's hands because He has a much better plan than I do (and I'm not just saying that to hopefully make myself feel better - I really do mean it).

However, I decided that a half serious, half joking resolution of mine would be just to go on a date in '08. A real date. I have been on a couple acci-dates (where you don't know you are on one until later - surprise!). I've taken boys as dates to KXA functions when I was in college (but seriously - you have to ask the boys to those). I've been set up on a few blind dates that never really worked out. Dating just hasn't ever been my thing. I want to go on a real date. One where the boy asks if he can take you out to dinner or to do something fun. Where its obvious its a date and he is interested in getting to know you a little better. Even if its just one or two, I'm okay with that.

Now you might say this is out of my control. Yes, that is partially true. And since it is sort of not in my hands, I'm okay if it doesn't happen.

But there are a few things I can control. I really inhibit myself a lot of times from even getting to know boys at all. Mainly because they scare me. I know for one I am horrible at making eye contact. I feel like I'm sending the wrong message if I maintain 2 seconds of eye contact. Yeah, I'm ridiculous. I avoid complimenting boys on things because again, I don't want to send the wrong message. I shy away from conversations where I have to share my opinion or feelings on a topic because I don't want them to think I'm ridiculous for thinking or feeling one way or another. I'm so focused on not sending the wrong message that I leave myself little time to send the right message. And by the right message I don't mean, "hey, take me on a date". I mean, "Hey, I think you are nice. We could be good friends. Etc., etc., etc.". I know much about good personal communication skills. But I can't seem to use those skills that I use well in other arenas when I am talking to someone of the opposite sex. Oi vey. I'm a mess. I have a dad and brother. I should be okay with boys!

But the truth is, I'm not and I need to make some changes. Not just to get a date. That's not my goal in life (mainly just a nice idea that I hope would happen). Honestly, I think a lot of this stems from low self-confidence on my part and lack of love towards myself. I often in the back of my mind trick myself into believing that I am not worth it, boys like other girls better than me, other girls are more worthy than I am, I am ugly, etc. But I know these are the lies that Satan has planted deep within me (and most girls) and I am allowing them to take root in my life.

I want to stand on the promises and truths that God has given to me and fully believe in them and live my life in such a way that displays this. God wants His promises and truths displayed in us. We were created for that. And I'm not just talking about dealing with the opposite sex now (although thats how this topic started). I'm talking about all areas of life, big and small.

So thats my other big resolution for the year (and life too...): to allow His promises and truths to be displayed in my life.

Amen.

God bless.

PS - I tried to put spaces in my post between paragraphs so it would be easier to read. But Blogger wouldn't let me do that. I'm having trouble with the formatting. So I apologize for the gigantic neverending paragraphs that are my blog posts. Love you!

Vertical Perspective

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

~Hebrews 12:2~

So like the last post I heard about this topic twice in a short span of time and felt it was fairly noteworthy and worth some thought. The general idea is that we ought to look vertically towards Jesus rather than viewing the world horizontally and looking at others. I don't need to compare my life and what God is doing in it to those around us. He has a unique plan for each and everyone one of us and will be faithful to complete it. But if I am so busy focusing on the lives of others, how can I possibly be focusing on my own life and what God is doing in it?

I just need to be looking up. My life is between God and I and what He wills for it. Looking at the lives at others is a) a lack of faith on my part and b) sometimes breaking a commandment - coveting thy neighbor. It also can cause me to miss the beautiful things He is trying to do in my life because I'm so distracted by the lives of others. Yes, I can definitely learn from the lives of others and should do so. But I shouldn't base my life around theirs. We all have our own joys, blessings, sacrifices, idols, etc. And my life is not going to be identical to anyone elses. My focus needs to be on what is occurring between Him and me so that His purpose in me can be carried out. Looking at the lives of others is bailing out on Him and His plan.

So as I enter this new year, another resolution and I can add to the list is a more vertical perspective and a less horizontal one.

God bless!

Post #3 for the evening...

I felt like splitting up my posts this evening was a better idea (and easier for me).

I just had some random thoughts that really didn't fit in my other 2 posts.

One thing I've been thinking about lately is God's 400 years of silence. I hadn't really given it that much thought before but I heard it mentioned twice in one day so I figured God was trying to tell me something. I knew there had been a silence from Him. But geez! 400 years! And His followers waited that long in eager anticipation and faith that He would speak again. I get upset when God is silent for even a few days! But I also think He uses that silence to still us and to prepare our hearts for when He does speak. Maybe I should appreciate the silence more (even though it is a harsh reminder of my sins) and ready myself for when He does speak to me.

Another thought on my mind is the frailty of humans as well as their dominant position over other creatures of the earth. Seriously. There are many many animals out there that could rip us to shreds in seconds flat. We wouldn't even know what hit us. And we really aren't strong enough to stand up to it or even fight back. Yet we are at the top. I know our intellectual capabilities (although I question some - okay many - members of our species) put us steps above them but seriously. I think our weakness and frailty keeps us humble to a certain degree. I think if we possessed both intellectual and physical prowess, our world would be an even more messed up and crazy place than it already is currently. Just an interesting juxtaposition of superiority and frailty in my opinion.

Okay, enough lackluster philosophical thinking from me. I like pondering deep things but I do not always possess the ability to articulate them well nor debate them anyone. So I'm done.

In VERY exciting news - I'M GOING TO BOSTON IN MARCH!!! I found a good deal on plane tickets so I will get to see my favorite happily married couple who are on a grand adventure there! I have been wanting to go since they moved their last June and my dream is coming true :0) I wanted to do something around spring breakish time and after some playing around with ideas and doing some research I decided that it was time to make my first visit (of hopefully many more!) to Boston.

So my computer is about to run out of battery power so I need to go. I hope y'all are doing well! God bless!

Excited for the New Year! - Post #2

So I don't think I've been out doing something fun for New Years since I was like a freshman in high school (you think I'm kidding....oh how I wish I was!). My family has always had like family friends over or last year I went with my brother to his friend's house and hung out with her and her family. Nothing too exciting. But this year that changed!! I got to dress up and everything! Luckily, I had several dresses from KXA semiformals in the past to choose from (and luckily, almost all of them fit!). Ashley had also lent me a really pretty dress but I opted for a slightly less formal one (thanks though Ash! I really loved the dress!)

The singles ministry at the church I'm attending (HFBC) put on a party/dance/game night thing and it was so fun! Some people from my class went to eat at this sweet little italian place by Memorial City Mall before the party and then we headed on over to the party. I mainly just socialized and danced all night long! Too much fun! Jenny went with me too so that was really great :0) I love the people in my class and ringing in the New Year with these precious people was such a treat! Below are the 3 pictures I took of this fun night.

Jenny, Me and Jonathan

Some really fun girls (Jenny, Me, Staci and Kate)!

My sweet precious friend Jenny and I looking hot in our great New Years hats!

As far as resolutions go, I don't really make official ones but I do have some ideas of things I would like to accomplish in the coming year. Here are a few of them:

• Increased faith, more pressing into Him and more discipline in my spiritual life.
• Like everyone else in the world, eat better, exercise more and hopefully, lose weight. I know I don't look horrible or anything but I don't feel good about myself. I just want to feel comfortable about myself and how I look (although, I really am coming to realize its not the most important thing in the world).
• Get a job (finishing teacher certification), move into my own place and really establish myself as a somewhat more self-sufficient young single adult.
• Learn how to budget my finances better (I've been somewhat learning....but I haven't done that well....)
• Try more new recipes! I just love to cook :0)

So thats just a few ideas I had. What are yours!??!

I hope y'all have very blessed coming year! Yay!

Funny story - We found out that Ella is terrified of fireworks! We were all out last night and when my parents returned, they couldn't find her anywhere! Finally after much searching (and panicking!) they found her..... in my bathtub! Haha...who would have guessed?!!?

Christmas - Post #1

I'm doing 3 posts tonight. One for Christmas, one for New Years and another post of my most recent random thoughts, news, etc. Here was Christmas at the Stewarts:

Ella being very excited about one of her yummy gifts!

Rachael Ray pots and pans! Yay! Now I just have to wait and get my own place so I can use them...

Dad being really excited about his new coffee maker for the new house :0)

Grandma and Grandma sporting their "Ask Me About My Granddog" tshirts that Ella gave them

Yay for a GPS system! Now I won't be as lost in Houston :0)

Ruby playing with the only Christmas present she's ever gotten...poor kitty!

I got my dad 10 beers from around the world (he likes trying beers from different places) for Christmas. Here's just one of them!

Mom overjoyed at getting her Roomba for the new casa!

Kyle trying on his jacket I got him for Christmas. The best part about this jacket is that I got it 60% off at JCPenneys!

Excited about the digital photo frame my brother got them :0)

And last but not least (probably should have been first) the picture of our small but sweet Christmas tree and the presents before they were opened.

Christmas was pretty exciting at our house. We are truly blessed :0)

Wedding Dreams

Ever since I was very very little, my dreams have always been extremely vivid and seem extremely real and believable while they are going on in my head. And when I have one (its not a nightly thing for me...just every few weeks) I tend to mull it over in my head over the next few days (what happened, why it happened, why I dreamed about it, etc.).

But last night, I am very bothered by my dream. No one died. No one was sick. Nothing bad happened. I dreamed I was getting ready for my wedding. Should be a happy one, right?

Now, like most girls, I like to think about my wedding every now and then. Its fun. I like to plan events and things. I like collecting ideas. Its just something I think about from time to time.

But I hate dreaming that I am actually having a wedding. For one, I never seem to be ready or prepared in my dreams. Its right before the ceremony and several huge things are not done (in this most recent one, I had on ugly black shoes and could not find the white ballet slippers I wanted to wear). It stresses me out. And its like this in every dream. I am largely unprepared for the day and can't seem to get my act together. Another thing that bothers me is that my soon to be husband is always a mystery guy. Sometimes I never see him (like I'm getting ready in the bridal room or something...). Other times I'm getting ready to walk down the aisle and there is just a figure there but my dad and I are still way too far away to see his face. Last night, I could kinda see the guy's face (kinda fuzzy...didn't really remind me of anyone I know). But what bothered me most last night is that my fiance/husband was kinda cold and distant. I had worked hard on a sweet letter to him for our wedding day and had given it to him. He was kinda just walking around the church before the wedding, seeing me before the wedding and then just kinda shrugged at me and said, "oh, thanks for the letter" in a rather nonchalant manner. It was horrible and cold.

But I think what I hate most about these dreams is that they make me focus on something I'm trying not to focus my energies on. I really am desiring to enjoy there here and now and cherishing my singlehood. But like most girls, I go through phases where I just so badly want to be married (or even go on a date....sheesh!) and I get extremely green with envy towards my friends that are already married or are about to be married. I was doing pretty okay with not being upset about it until last night's dream.

I could analyze this dream til I'm blue in the face. Part of me wonders if it is a reminder to not think that once I am married and such that my life will be fixed and everything. I used to be naiive and believe that. But I am observing a lot of my friends who are around that time in their life and realize this is just not true. Marriage is a beautiful thing but it seems to come with its own set of unique difficulties that us as young single adults do not currently face. I also think this dream reminds me that I still have some deep-seated fears of being seriously involved with a man. I haven't dated in 3 years and my last relationship was quite the flop. And honestly, as nice as it would be to go on a date and have a boyfriend or whatever, it kinda scares me too. Boys as friends aren't threatening. Boys as more than friends is intimidating to me even though its something I desire. So enough analysis about my weird dreams.

But they are making me struggle. I just wish I wouldn't have them. If they are daydreams, I can cut them off and move on. But these night dreams, I can't stop until they are over no matter how much I want them to.

I want to be content where I'm at. I don't want this strong desire to control me. It shouldn't and it can't. But if I'm being 100% honest, there are phases I go through where it does. Ugh.

I'm not quite sure why I felt compelled to share my thoughts on these dreams. But I did. So there. Does anyone else have this issue? I wish I didn't!

Anyways, Christmas was pretty good. Got some very sweet and nice gifts that I am more than enjoying. Some things, I have to wait to enjoy. I got a set of Rachael Ray pots and pans (blue, not the ugly orange!) but will have to wait until I move into my own place to use them :0(. Oh well. Something to look forward to! I will post pictures of the day in my next post. Hope all of your Christmases were good and you were blessed. Love you!

Happy Birthday/Anniversary Ella!

So today marks one year that Ella and I have been together! I decided that since this was the day I got her, it would be her unofficial birthday as well because who knows when her real birthday is (I'm not even sure exactly how old she is even!) so Christmas Eve seemed like a good day. For her birthday, I got her microchipped in case she runs off so I can find her again. It probably didn't feel like much of a present (it involves two large needles!) but its good for her and since she is a roamer and a wonderer, its rather necessary. My mom had gotten her some cool bones at PetCo but yesterday, she got bored, went into my mom's closet and since my mom had "hidden" them on the floor of the closet, Ella just helped herself. She ate four out of twelve dental chew bones (now she has really clean teeth!) and half of a large meat filled/flavored bone. I really thought she would get sick from all that but she didn't (Praise the Lord - for real! I was expecting a fairly nasty mess!)! Today, I found a recipe for dog birthday cake online so I baked it for her and will frost it with cottage cheese later. Yes, I am obsessed with my dog. But who wouldn't be with such a sweet face like that!?!?

Merry Christmas Eve! God bless!

Shag Dancing?!?!

So last night, we were visiting my dad's cousins who live in The Woodlands. You must understand that my dad's side of the family is fairly large (my late grandfather was the youngest of 10) and has some rather interesting members. These cousins (a brother and sister) mentioned that their younger brother (another cousin) who is from Carolina was in to Shag Dancing now. We all kinda looked at each other with puzzled looks wondering just what that was. When I hear the word "shag", some cool dance that older relatives are all impressed by is not what comes to mind! So, I went on Google to search for some video clips of this and found exactly what this was. It actually is kinda really cool! Here is just one video of the many I found. Apparently this style of dancing is mainly done in the Carolinas and much is done at Myrtle Beach. Let me know if the video works are not. If it doesn't, I found a lot more I can link you to. Check it out! It is pretty neat.

Hope y'all are doing well and surviving the craziness of the season! God bless!

Santa Paws

I was subbing for this really great third grade class the other day and their assignment was to make up their own version of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. Some of them were having some difficulty with the assignment, so I did the assignment myself and here's what I came up with. Its not that great and it doesn't really rhyme but thats okay. The name of the Santa character - Santa Paws - was also not my own creation. I had just put Santa Dog for lack of any other idea and one of the little boys in the class came up to me and said, "What about Santa Paws for your story? Get it? Santa Paws instead of Santa Claus!" I told him it was such a great idea that I was going to use it. And that I did. Now why didn't I think of that? Oh and this is written from Ella's point of view, of course.



'Twas the Bark Before Christmas



'Twas the bark before Christmas

And all through the doghouse

Not a creature was stirring

Not even a cat.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

In hopes that Santa Paws would soon be there.

The puppies were snoring all snug in their beds

As visions of treats and bones danced in their head,

And Mom in her human bed and I in my dog bed

Had just settled down after much gingerbread.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,

I barked from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash

Barked at the shutters

As Mom threw up the sash.

The moon shown bright on the now yellow snow

And made all things shiny and icy below.

When what to my big puppy eyes should appear,

But a giant flying bone and eight tiny puppies so dear:

With a little old driver, who had big furry paws

I knew in a moment it must be Santa Paws.

More rapid than kitties his coursers they came.

And he whistled, and barked, and called them by name:

"Now Fido, now Cookie! Now Snoopy! And Sparky!

On Clifford! On Spot! On Bruiser and Barky!

To the top of the doghouse, to the top of the wall!

Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the house-top the puppies they flew

With a sleigh full of dog treats, and Santa Paws too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard but not saw

The sniffing and scratching of each little paw.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Santa Paws came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his paws,

And his fur was all dirty from rolling in soot just because.

A bundle of bones he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled!

Those big eyes how merry!

His nose was all wet and looked much like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the fur of his snout was as white as the snow.

The big rawhide bone he held tight in his teeth,

And some more treats by his feet just beneath.

He had a sweet little face and a rather plump belly,

That shook when he walked, from eating too much jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly ole pal,

And I howled when I saw him, for I'm not a quite gal!

A wink of his eye and a cock of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He barked not a bark, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

And putting his paw right up to his nose,

And giving a yip, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a bark,

And away they all flew for a quick walk in the park.

But I heard him bark twice as he flew out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"


Anyways, I wanted to share what fun I was having subbing. Again, I realize this isn't that great (although with some more time spent on it could probably be really cute). I'm just bored and post just about anything. Hope y'all are doing well! God bless!

A "Mary" Christmas

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." ~Luke 10:38-42~

The Lord has really laid this on my heart during this season. Especially today. Like I said, I tend to get really wrapped up in the going-ons of the holiday season (gift buying, wrapping, food planning and preparation, etc.) and forget myself and what I really need to be doing. I think I do this in life in general a lot. I get distracted like Martha. It is ever so hard for me to have the posture of Mary when my sinful nature tends to bring out the Martha in me. And I get frustrated with others when they aren't doing what I think they should be doing. And the list goes on. Martha and I seem to be twins separated at birth (and by several centuries...haha). I just love this passage because it resonates so deeply within me, almost as if it was written just for my heart.

But what I really need to be doing is laying at His feet, soaking Him in. I'm in a season of a lot of changes, decisions, etc. and I need to be there now more than ever. I can't figure out what He wants from me if I'm not willing to listen and am consistently pouring myself into various other things in my environment.

So I'm praying this season that my Christmas is more "Mary" and less "Martha" (although, I'm sure Martha was a beautiful person as well but just as conflicted as the rest of us!).

One prayer request - I found out yesterday that some sisters in KXA who are a few years younger than me unexpectedly lost their father on Monday. And not only is it just these two sisters, but they have four other siblings as well. I can't imagine what their mother (or any of them for that matter) is going through. I don't know these girls very well at all (they were pledging as I was graduating) but my heart aches for them and their family. So just be in prayer for them as not only is such a loss so devastating, but especially so close to Christmas.

Hope y'all are enjoying the holidays so far! God bless!

I Have a Masters Degree....Now What?!?!

So like I said in my previous post, I graduated from grad school this past weekend! Here are some (not so great) pictures of the festivities:

So that was my exciting weekend. It feels so good to officially be done! After the ceremony, we went to the Cheesecake Factory and celebrated. Too much fun.

Anyways, now I'm just continuing subbing, getting ready to start preservice training (classes) for teacher certification and really not much else.

God bless!

Light at the End of a 21 Year Long Tunnel!

So on Saturday, a rather momentous occassion will occur. I will finish my 21 year long stint of a schooling career. I started preschool at 3 and am FINALLY ending school at 24. PRAISE THE LORD!!! Now this doesn't mean I won't go back later or anything but I am so glad to be done with the papers, the tests, the late night studying and the craziness of it all. I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything but I am very glad they are finished :0)

Unfortunately, for my teacher certification, I will be in class 3 times a week, one time online and will be taking tests and such for it. Not really school but still! I will be done with all that junk in April and hopefully well on my way to being a teacher.

Anyways, just wanted to check in before I head up to Denton. I am leaving tomorrow morning and will be stopping in to see my Bear Creek (the school where I worked last year) friends and students and then will be heading up to Denton to stay with Ashley and Lauren! Yay! I've seen Ash a couple times since leaving but I haven't seen Lauren since August so I am very excited to spend some time with these lovely ladies! Yay!

God bless!

Happy Trails To You

So I took a risk this weekend. I went camping (thats not the risk - I love camping!) with my new church group not knowing very many people very well (there's the risk - if you know me, you know that this is a pretty scary thing for me!). TOO MUCH FUN! I am so glad I went. Here's how it all went down.

We met at some girls apartment on Friday evening, packed all our stuff in and headed out to Stephen F. Austin State Park (near Sealy and San Felipe - ridden my bike there a couple times). I rode in the car with 3 other girls and they were so great. Two of us were new and the other had moved away a couple months ago but had come in town to go camping with us. The other girl had been going for a while and caught us all up on what was going on with the group. The other new girl actually knew Ashley and had gone to Dulles HS with her and their brothers had played baseball together (Ashley, I'll tell you about this later!). The other girl that had come back in town was so precious. And she made me feel so much better about my decision to teach. She had just finished a Masters in Public Health and then decided that really what she wanted to do was teach and now teaches Kindergarden in Weatherford (near Ft. Worth). So I'm not the only silly one that gets a Masters in something random (although, mine is related) and then decides to teach. The girl that had gone to the group for a while is a middle school teacher in Ft. Bend and she was telling me all about FBISD in case I decide to apply there.

Anyways, after some missed exits and turns, we finally got to the campsite. We all just kinda sat around the fire and talked and then went to bed. It took me like 4 hours to fall asleep that night. I kinda knew that was gonna happen anyways, but man was that a long 4 hours! It didn't help that I was also sleeping right on top of a tree root.

The next morning we all woke up. Some went running (haha... not me! give me a bike any day, but no running!) and some of us just got ready for the day. I figured since a shower (we use the term shower here very loosely) was available, I might as well take one so I at least start out clean.

After that, we all had breakfast (eggs, sausage, fruits, etc.) and then went on a hike. It was fun. We got some good pics (although, I don't have any - my camera is currently in South Africa with my dad). Then we came back and ate lunch. It was chicken noodle soup. The girl who did the food thought it was going to be much colder on the trip so hence the warm and hearty food. However, it was like 80 degrees. Oi.

Anyways, after lunch we kinda sat around and then took off to play soccer and some California kickball (a kinda crazy mixed up version of kickball - you need to play sometime!) It was fun but pretty warm outside. After that we came back and sat around for a little bit. Cooling off mainly. Then we played Charades and that was A LOT of fun and very funny. We were supposed to go on a caroling hay ride after that but for whatever reason, we did not. Oh well.

We then returned to our campsite and had hobo dinners for dinner. If you have never tried one of these you need to! All you do is put an uncooked hamburger patty, some mixed vegetables and some frozen french fries all in some foil, sprinkle with seasoning salt, wrap it all up and then stick it on some coals for a while until done. After they are done, you can put ketchup or cheese or whatever on it and enjoy! Surprisingly good. I really didn't expect much but I liked it. And they weren't too greasy or unhealthy either because nothing was fried.

After that, we had some really good praise and worship time and sat around the fire just talking and fellowshipping. We turned in fairly early that night because we were all so exhausted. I slept pretty well despite the circumstances I think because I was so exhausted.

We woke up the next morning a little damp from all the humidity and dew. We kinda packed up our stuff, ate some lil smokies and waffles (eggos heated up over the fire - who knew?) for breakfast and then broke down and cleaned up our sites. Just as we were leaving, it started to drizzle so it was perfect timing!

So that was my fun weekend. I really really had a good time. Unfortunately, I have returned with some pretty bad chest congestion which will hopefully clear up soon. We shall see. The people in my group are so great. They are funny, honest, not afraid to be themselves, accepting and overall just wonderful and most importantly, Godly. I just love being with them! Community with them is such an answer to prayer and I'm so excited to get more involved and to develop deeper relationships with them. Last night at church, Shane and Shane and Bethany Dillon (who is engaged to the not married Shane) led worship and it was SO amazing! I need to download or buy some of their music because it is very powerful and they are just amazing. After church, we all headed over to Pei Wei (yay!). Again, great fellowship! Also, dinner after church often brings out more people in our class and some that aren't as involved so it was good to meet more new people and find out about their lives. Jenny also got to go with me last night so I had a good time with her and she calmed my nerves in bad traffic and confusing directions!

Okay, so that was a long post. I have more to say but will save it for later. Hope y'all are doing well and congrats to my Baylor and UNT friends who are finished with finals! Yay!

Little Elves

My brother made this. Too funny. I had tears in my eyes from laughing. You NEED to watch it! Haha...

I think you should make your own!

Current Events

* Got accepted to Region 4's teacher certification program today! So now I'm on my way to being a special ed teacher and I'm pretty stinkin' excited :0)

* Got to eat lunch with Ashley today and that was so wonderful! We tried out California Pizza Kitchen at Memorial City Mall. Neither of us had every been and it was super yummy! We shared a white pizza (four kinds of white cheese and spinach) and each had a really good ceasar salad. If you get the chance to try that restaurant, I highly recommend it! I am so excited for Ashley (and Gibson!) to move back to Houston next year.

* Almost done with Christmas shopping! Yay! I think I only have 2 people left to finish up and I have some ideas for them. I think the hardest person is my dad. He has all the bike stuff he needs. He has all the coffee stuff he needs. There's nothing he really wants or needs. So what do I get him? Its a tough one...

* I think my church hunt is over!! PTL!! I decided to go back to Houston First Baptist and am attending the Sunday evening class, MetroLink, and service. Its been amazing. The people there are not only extremely friendly, welcoming and inclusive but also, they are Godly, authentic, amazing men and women that I am excited to get to know more. I am going camping this weekend with them and couldn't be more excited! I love to camp and this will give me a good chance to get to know and fellowship with them more. The church and all the activities are quite a drive for me but have proved to be more than worth it. I am truly blessed...

* Just substituting around the district and its gone pretty well! Today, I got a letter from the sub office with a sub evaluation form filled out from one of the teachers I subbed for. Usually when you get those, it is NOT a good thing at all and that teacher wants you removed from the campus. No one really fills them out for doing a good job but they can if they want. A teacher I subbed for two days this week had filled one out and said I was doing a fantastic job. Its always nice to be affirmed and it blessed me a lot to get that today. I was nervous when I was opening it because I felt like I've been doing okay subbing! Hehe..

* I graduate next weekend!! Yay yay yay!! I really thought this day would never come! I will officially be DONE with school (for now anyways) and its so exciting to be able to say that after being in school since I was 3 (I'm including preschool).

Okay. I think thats all. I hope y'all are doing well. Christmas is coming! God bless!

Disabled Veterans

Today I rode the Independence Ride in Wallis, TX benefiting disabled veterans.

Now what image comes to mind when you think of an average disabled veteran?

I think of an older gentleman in maybe his 60s or 70s.

Reality really hit today at this ride.

Many of the disabled vets that were there were young. Very young. My age. My brother's age. It broke my heart.

I'm not really sure where I stand on the war. You would think someone who grew up in the midst (literally!) of the Gulf War would have a strong stand one way or another. But I don't. I see things wrong with it and I see things not neccessarily right, but justified with it. Maybe I'm a pacifist by nature and don't really understand how human beings can do these things to one another and feel okay about it. I dunno. It boggles me.

Anyways. Its just been on my mind all day. My brother could be one of those guys now saddled in a wheelchair and fighting for his independence. And the amazing sacrifice that these very young men (I didn't see any women today but I know there are some) made for their country. I'm not emotionally patriotic or anything but I do love my country (not everything about it but in general) and feel very blessed to be an American citizen. And these young vets are putting their love into action. How humbling.

Otherwise, besides sobering, the ride was pretty good. I started off fairly strong (for me anyways) and had a good tailwind behind me. However, as I turned the corner the sidewind and later the headwind hit and man oh man. I was dying. I opted to do a shorter route (40 miles) than originally planned (60 miles) but feel I might have died if I had gone an additional 20 into the wind (and that whole extra 20 would have been into the wind...oi vey). I told my dad I would do 60 miles next time we rode and then he informed that there really weren't anymore organized rides like this until January. Oh well. Enough about cycling.

I finally finished putting up all the Christmas decorations and am fairly pleased. Its nothing special and certainly not perfect but I like it and it makes me very happy :0)

My mom got back from Florida. She said it was okay. Apparently my grandma is turning into a somewhat unpleasant and manipulative elderly woman. I still love her and she is definitely not that way to me that I know of, but it still makes me hurt for her. I know she is frustrated and depressed but I really just want her to be happy, have a full life and know that Jesus loves her. Just keep praying for her. Her health is not so wonderful (my mom had to give very clear instructions to her on how to eat appropriately - she has dropped 20 lbs. in the past few months and thats a lot for someone who is only 4'11! Now you know where I get height from) so yeah. I dunno. Just lift her up if you think about it.

Okay I think I've typed enough for now. I have various thoughts and pieces of news so I'll try and space it out over the next few days.

God bless!

Its Beginning to Look A Lot Like CHRISTMAS!

Well, I didn't get a sub job for today so the day was spent picking up around the house, running some errands AND doing Christmas shopping and decorating! How glorious! I just love this time of year and start eagerly anticipating its arrival around my birthday (in September - go ahead and make fun). This year however, I have been instructed to scale back on Christmas decor because my parents are showing their home on a regular basis in hopes of selling it and I've had to scale back on my shopping b/c of lack of a job (there is exciting news on the horizon - I'll share more in a later post once things materialize). But I still love the spirit and buzz of activity that occurs during this time of year, so my spirits aren't dampened too much. Plus, the decor, shopping and whatever else are not really what the season is about anyways so maybe having to scale back on what I normally get caught up in will help me to focus all my attention on why there is even a Christmas season at all and for that lesson/reminder I am blessed and grateful :0)

A general update on life...

So, my updates have been a little scattered as of late as well as more about certain special events in my life as opposed whats happening overall. So I decided it was time for a general update on life.

Job/ Internship: Just 3 days left of my internship! Pretty glad about that. So ready to get a real job and get paid for it :0) They might offer me a job there and I'm thinking about taking it and working there while I work on my teacher certification. We'll see. I'm not entirely sure about that plan at this point.

Teacher certification: I have applied and am waiting for my transcripts to come in. Hopefully that will be next week and I will have everything in by December 14 (thats the deadline for me since I applied on November 14).

Ella: Took her to the vet today. She was so good. Still testing positive for Lyme Disease so they gave me some more medicine for her in hopes of clearing it up. If she still tests positive for it after that it just means she has antibodies that are producing a positive on the bloodtest. She got her immunizations today and was so good. Didn't even flinch one bit. The nurse muzzled her at first to do some things (neither Ella or I were very happy about that) but that was taken off and things went fine. Tonight she will probably get an ice cream treat for being so good at the vet. Yeah, I'm a sucker. I just feel so bad taking her there because she is so miserable and stressed out when she goes. Haha... Otherwise, she is doing great. She misses having another dog around to play with.

Church: I've decided to go back to HFBC. I think it is worth the drive. I went to their Sunday night singles class and then the church service and really loved it. I also saw my friend from Baylor, Andrew Ginakis, so it was good to see him there too. In a few weeks, the singles class is going on a camping trip and I think I might be brave and go despite not knowing anyone in the class. I guess I'll really get to know people that way! Haha..

Boys: What do you think?? Haha... I wish I had exciting news here but I don't. Someday though. I did have a dream last night that I was getting married. It was the night before and I realized I had forgotten to order the cake and get photographers and was super stressed about it. Then, at the beginning of the ceremony, the pastor called off the wedding and sent everyone home because a lightening storm was coming. I was depressed after that in my dream. Not to mention my dress was super ugly too. Weird.

Living situation: Trying to move out within the next few months. Difficult though. I need a townhome or something of the like with a backyard for Ella. She really is too big and too active of a dog to be left at home all day and then to not be able to roam around free of a leash for a while after I get home. Her breed especially is inclined to roaming so I really feel that she needs that leash-free roaming time. I'll still walk her and such but she really does need that yard. I've found a few things but they are 3 bedrooms and I don't need that. Two is a lot and I would be okay with it but I'd really just prefer 1. We'll see. Just pray that I find what I need at the time that I need it.

I think I covered everything. This week has been good. Kyle came home yesterday so I've been hanging out w/ him and the fam. Yesterday we went to WalMart and I got the Hairspray DVD and we watched it last night. So great! Today, I went to lunch with Ashley, one of my old roomates and got to catch up with her. It was so good to see her. Too bad lunch couldn't have lasted longer but we both had stuff to do. I'm excited because she is moving back to Houston sometime next summer so she can start her LSSP internship year/first year in either Katy or Fort Bend ISD. I might be teaching Special Ed in one of those districts so maybe she can be my LSSP! Haha...

Hope y'all have a happy Thanksgiving. Get excited because the radio stations start playing Christmas music around the clock tomorrow. Yay! I've been listening to the radio station I listened to while living in DFW online because they started playing Christmas music November 1. Some people are really perturbed about it but not me! I love it!

God Bless!

Ren Fest!

So this past weekend, I had the delightful and rather interesting experience of going to the Texas Renaissance Festival up near Magnolia. I have wanted to go for the past 8 1/2 years (when I moved here from Saudi) and I finally got the chance. I went with Audrey, her boyfriend, Andrew and Mina. Too much fun. And too much food! Haha... After more than 5 hours of walking around and seeing all there was to see, here are the pictures! Beware though...apparently showing a lot of cleavage and in some cases a lot of skin in other places so if you see any, don't be too alarmed. It took me a couple of hours of being there to not be so shocked by it every time I saw it. Anyways, here are the pics!

Mina enjoying a giant turkey leg

Barbarians dancing (it was Barbarian weekend @ Ren Fest)

Jousting tournament

Andrew being very talented at the stick juggling thing - he has some serious skills!

Audrey (she's sitting opposite of Andrew) and Andrew in a cool swing

Some lady's cool peacock feather dress

I love these cool hammock chairs! It felt really good to sit in after walking around that much. If I had any money, that is one thing I would have bought myself :0)

A girl doing amazing stunts. Yeah - she's only hanging onto two pieces of fabric. Pretty cool. She was a tiny girl but had amazing muscles to hold herself up like that!

Cool swing we got to go on :0)

My feet while we are swinging :0)

I love listening to bagpipes. This guy and the other guys he was playing with were jamming.

Riding an elephant with Audrey :0) Yeah, that elephant is taking a leak. Its not just your imagination.

Belly dancing. That one lady in the middle was actually pretty good!

And this picture isn't from Ren Fest. Its a picture of the business next to where we ate dinner later that night. Read carefully what it says on the window. Anything strike you odd?

So Ren Fest was busy and fun. I highly recommend it but make sure you a) bring good walking shoes b) bring a good amount of money - its not necessarily a cheap thing to do on a weekend. But worth it.

Update on my grandma - She came out of surgery fine and came home from the hospital today. She's still weak and feeling yucky but otherwise okay and my aunt is there to help her out. She wanted to stay in the hospital longer but said the treatment by the nurses and other staff there was so horrible that she had to leave. Hopefully she'll keep getting better instead of worse. Just keep praying for her!

Anyways, I have more to say but this post has gotten long enough. Maybe tomorrow.

Hope y'all are doing well and gettin' excited for Turkey Day! God bless!

PS - I'm having formatting problems w/ this post so if it looks a little funny, I can't help it! I tried to fix it a couple times but it keeps reverting back to what it was before. So sorry!

Pray For My Grandma Please!

My sweet grandma is having surgery tomorrow (its either gastrointestinal or urological - I'm not sure which). She has been in a lot of pain the past few months, so hopefully this will help alleviate her misery. My aunt is flying out next week to take care of her once she gets out of the hospital and then my mom is flying out after Thanksgiving to stay with her for a while too. Hopefully this will be a sweet time for them despite the circumstances. They don't always get along with each other (my mom's family is kinda crazy) so hopefully they can put their differences aside and enjoy the time together. Also, my grandma isn't really saved either, so maybe some more seeds will be planted during the next few weeks. She thinks she's going to heaven because she is a good woman and doesn't do bad thins, but as far as any relationship goes, there isn't really evidence of one. Anyways, just pray that things will be already, healing will be speedy and love and warmth will surround during her time with her daughters.

I'm trying to decide whether to get certified to teach. Its a big decision and not one I need to rush into or take lightly. But I do need to make a decision soon her as the deadline to apply and register for January trainings is fast approaching. It involves a pretty significant financial commitment. I think its what I want to do, but I feel like I jump around a lot from thing to thing because I can't decide. Maybe I do and maybe I don't, but I just want to stick with something, do it and do it well. I think I would be a good special ed teacher. I was a good aide. My feelings about my internship ebb and flow so I'm not sure if I do or don't want to do it. I like the part of working with the families and like most of my coworkers, but not much else. I dunno.

Anyways, excited about this weekend. Probably going to the Renaissance Festival with Audrey (and maybe some others - let me know if you want to come - all are welcome!). I have wanted to go every year for 8 years and I think the time has come! Yay!

Hope y'all are doing well. God bless!

Sic 'em bears - Homecoming '07

So, I went to Baylor this past weekend for homecoming. So fun! I stayed with my sweet friend Kimberly and got to see nearly everyone on my list of people I wanted to see. Unfortunately, as well intentioned as I am about taking lots of pictures, I carry my camera everywhere but forget to take pictures. Here are some of the few that I did get.

Sweet Min and I at the bonfire. Unfortunately, we had this huge white light shining on us, so the picture isn't that great. I love this girl! Need to visit her in DC soon!

Fun KXA friends @ the bonfire (Min, Diane, Kim, me, Katie)

The Texas Tech double T in flames. Too bad we didn't really burn them at the football game the next day :0(

My sweet ENGAGED friend Nikki! She was KXA's homecoming nominee this year and although I didn't actually get to see her in the parade, the pictures of her were gorgeous (would you expect any different from this girl!?!) Can't wait til her wedding!

Sarah Bush! I absolutely adore this precious girl! She's one of those people who just warms your heart to be around :0)

Oh baby brother! He was so sweet and cooked all the hot dogs and hamburgers at the KXA alumni tailgate (not only is he my little brother, but he's a Big Brother for KXA too - the Stewart legacy lives on...)

Baylor not winning :0( One year, it will be the year of the Bear. Not this year though!

The Golden Wave Band performing Thriller! It was AWESOME!

The hostess w/ the mostest! Can't get enough of this sweet friend!

Sweet KXA friends at the football game (as we were leaving not too far into the 3rd quarter - it was too hot and too depressing at that point to stay). Such sweet girls :0)

So that was some of my weekend. I basically just hung out and saw sweet friends that I missed and ate a lot of food. Hehe...

Unlike last year though, I didn't come away grieving the loss of my college years. I think I am slowly becoming okay and adjusting to (out of necessity) my single adult life. I still miss Baylor, but maybe not in the same way that I did previously.

This week has been okay. Went to a teacher certification info meeting last night. Pretty good. I need to pray before I start applying and investing my money in this. I think it is what I am supposed to do, but I just want to be sure. I mean nothing is ever a sure thing, but I want to have peace about going through this process.

Hope y'all are doing well. God bless!