Oh my. Today at 12:40, I packed up my sweet little ones and put them on the bus for the very last time this year. We gave hugs. We said goodbye. I wished them well at their new school, which they just smiled sweetly and said "ok, Ms. Stewart", not really comprehending what the phrase "new school" means or even that they will not be coming to school tomorrow. Such is the life of a cognitively challenged child. I slowly walked back to my classroom full of like 50 boxes, trying not to cry (I didn't - so proud of me!).
Today was bittersweet. What a sense of accomplishment I am feeling for making it to the finish line of my first year of teaching. I am ready for summer. I am ready for rest. I am ready to do all those things on my to do list that I have been meaning to do since 10 months ago. I am ready to see friends that I have put off for lack of time.
But I was not ready to see these precious spirits who have slowly worked their way around my heart this past year get on that bus and go. And you know, I didn't become attached until right before I was told I wouldn't be getting them back next year. Even on the most horrible of days with them, I still love them and love investing in them and watching them grow and seeing the small successes that everyone else wouldn't consider anything noteworthy.
I wish I could post their pictures so you could see R, E, O, S and H's sweet faces. You know, a lot of teachers have a favorite, but I don't think I could have picked one this year. Each of them had their endearing and not-so-endearing qualities. They all were my favorites. I guess it is good I only had 5 students!
And you know, I never thought I would love teaching as much as I do. I NEVER saw myself as a teacher growing up, in college or even in grad school. I knew I loved my special kiddos, but teaching them was not what I saw for myself. I am so joyful and grateful that the Lord saw differently.
I'm excited about next year and the changes and the new bunch of sweet faces it brings. I am sad that this unexpected change of campuses occurred, but there are just some job hazards in special education that you can't do anything about. Change and movement is one of them and I unfortunately fell victim to it, but I guess its a lot easier now than it would be 2-3 years from now when I was even more attached to the kids.
Anyways, I just wanted to reflect for you a little on one of the biggest, hardest, most challenging, joyful years thus far in my 25 and some odd months of life.
Much love and look for more posts soon because posting more often is on that to do list from 10 months ago when I got myself into this!
