Wedding Dreams

Ever since I was very very little, my dreams have always been extremely vivid and seem extremely real and believable while they are going on in my head. And when I have one (its not a nightly thing for me...just every few weeks) I tend to mull it over in my head over the next few days (what happened, why it happened, why I dreamed about it, etc.).

But last night, I am very bothered by my dream. No one died. No one was sick. Nothing bad happened. I dreamed I was getting ready for my wedding. Should be a happy one, right?

Now, like most girls, I like to think about my wedding every now and then. Its fun. I like to plan events and things. I like collecting ideas. Its just something I think about from time to time.

But I hate dreaming that I am actually having a wedding. For one, I never seem to be ready or prepared in my dreams. Its right before the ceremony and several huge things are not done (in this most recent one, I had on ugly black shoes and could not find the white ballet slippers I wanted to wear). It stresses me out. And its like this in every dream. I am largely unprepared for the day and can't seem to get my act together. Another thing that bothers me is that my soon to be husband is always a mystery guy. Sometimes I never see him (like I'm getting ready in the bridal room or something...). Other times I'm getting ready to walk down the aisle and there is just a figure there but my dad and I are still way too far away to see his face. Last night, I could kinda see the guy's face (kinda fuzzy...didn't really remind me of anyone I know). But what bothered me most last night is that my fiance/husband was kinda cold and distant. I had worked hard on a sweet letter to him for our wedding day and had given it to him. He was kinda just walking around the church before the wedding, seeing me before the wedding and then just kinda shrugged at me and said, "oh, thanks for the letter" in a rather nonchalant manner. It was horrible and cold.

But I think what I hate most about these dreams is that they make me focus on something I'm trying not to focus my energies on. I really am desiring to enjoy there here and now and cherishing my singlehood. But like most girls, I go through phases where I just so badly want to be married (or even go on a date....sheesh!) and I get extremely green with envy towards my friends that are already married or are about to be married. I was doing pretty okay with not being upset about it until last night's dream.

I could analyze this dream til I'm blue in the face. Part of me wonders if it is a reminder to not think that once I am married and such that my life will be fixed and everything. I used to be naiive and believe that. But I am observing a lot of my friends who are around that time in their life and realize this is just not true. Marriage is a beautiful thing but it seems to come with its own set of unique difficulties that us as young single adults do not currently face. I also think this dream reminds me that I still have some deep-seated fears of being seriously involved with a man. I haven't dated in 3 years and my last relationship was quite the flop. And honestly, as nice as it would be to go on a date and have a boyfriend or whatever, it kinda scares me too. Boys as friends aren't threatening. Boys as more than friends is intimidating to me even though its something I desire. So enough analysis about my weird dreams.

But they are making me struggle. I just wish I wouldn't have them. If they are daydreams, I can cut them off and move on. But these night dreams, I can't stop until they are over no matter how much I want them to.

I want to be content where I'm at. I don't want this strong desire to control me. It shouldn't and it can't. But if I'm being 100% honest, there are phases I go through where it does. Ugh.

I'm not quite sure why I felt compelled to share my thoughts on these dreams. But I did. So there. Does anyone else have this issue? I wish I didn't!

Anyways, Christmas was pretty good. Got some very sweet and nice gifts that I am more than enjoying. Some things, I have to wait to enjoy. I got a set of Rachael Ray pots and pans (blue, not the ugly orange!) but will have to wait until I move into my own place to use them :0(. Oh well. Something to look forward to! I will post pictures of the day in my next post. Hope all of your Christmases were good and you were blessed. Love you!

Happy Birthday/Anniversary Ella!

So today marks one year that Ella and I have been together! I decided that since this was the day I got her, it would be her unofficial birthday as well because who knows when her real birthday is (I'm not even sure exactly how old she is even!) so Christmas Eve seemed like a good day. For her birthday, I got her microchipped in case she runs off so I can find her again. It probably didn't feel like much of a present (it involves two large needles!) but its good for her and since she is a roamer and a wonderer, its rather necessary. My mom had gotten her some cool bones at PetCo but yesterday, she got bored, went into my mom's closet and since my mom had "hidden" them on the floor of the closet, Ella just helped herself. She ate four out of twelve dental chew bones (now she has really clean teeth!) and half of a large meat filled/flavored bone. I really thought she would get sick from all that but she didn't (Praise the Lord - for real! I was expecting a fairly nasty mess!)! Today, I found a recipe for dog birthday cake online so I baked it for her and will frost it with cottage cheese later. Yes, I am obsessed with my dog. But who wouldn't be with such a sweet face like that!?!?

Merry Christmas Eve! God bless!

Shag Dancing?!?!

So last night, we were visiting my dad's cousins who live in The Woodlands. You must understand that my dad's side of the family is fairly large (my late grandfather was the youngest of 10) and has some rather interesting members. These cousins (a brother and sister) mentioned that their younger brother (another cousin) who is from Carolina was in to Shag Dancing now. We all kinda looked at each other with puzzled looks wondering just what that was. When I hear the word "shag", some cool dance that older relatives are all impressed by is not what comes to mind! So, I went on Google to search for some video clips of this and found exactly what this was. It actually is kinda really cool! Here is just one video of the many I found. Apparently this style of dancing is mainly done in the Carolinas and much is done at Myrtle Beach. Let me know if the video works are not. If it doesn't, I found a lot more I can link you to. Check it out! It is pretty neat.

Hope y'all are doing well and surviving the craziness of the season! God bless!

Santa Paws

I was subbing for this really great third grade class the other day and their assignment was to make up their own version of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. Some of them were having some difficulty with the assignment, so I did the assignment myself and here's what I came up with. Its not that great and it doesn't really rhyme but thats okay. The name of the Santa character - Santa Paws - was also not my own creation. I had just put Santa Dog for lack of any other idea and one of the little boys in the class came up to me and said, "What about Santa Paws for your story? Get it? Santa Paws instead of Santa Claus!" I told him it was such a great idea that I was going to use it. And that I did. Now why didn't I think of that? Oh and this is written from Ella's point of view, of course.



'Twas the Bark Before Christmas



'Twas the bark before Christmas

And all through the doghouse

Not a creature was stirring

Not even a cat.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

In hopes that Santa Paws would soon be there.

The puppies were snoring all snug in their beds

As visions of treats and bones danced in their head,

And Mom in her human bed and I in my dog bed

Had just settled down after much gingerbread.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,

I barked from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash

Barked at the shutters

As Mom threw up the sash.

The moon shown bright on the now yellow snow

And made all things shiny and icy below.

When what to my big puppy eyes should appear,

But a giant flying bone and eight tiny puppies so dear:

With a little old driver, who had big furry paws

I knew in a moment it must be Santa Paws.

More rapid than kitties his coursers they came.

And he whistled, and barked, and called them by name:

"Now Fido, now Cookie! Now Snoopy! And Sparky!

On Clifford! On Spot! On Bruiser and Barky!

To the top of the doghouse, to the top of the wall!

Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the house-top the puppies they flew

With a sleigh full of dog treats, and Santa Paws too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard but not saw

The sniffing and scratching of each little paw.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Santa Paws came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his paws,

And his fur was all dirty from rolling in soot just because.

A bundle of bones he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled!

Those big eyes how merry!

His nose was all wet and looked much like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the fur of his snout was as white as the snow.

The big rawhide bone he held tight in his teeth,

And some more treats by his feet just beneath.

He had a sweet little face and a rather plump belly,

That shook when he walked, from eating too much jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly ole pal,

And I howled when I saw him, for I'm not a quite gal!

A wink of his eye and a cock of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He barked not a bark, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

And putting his paw right up to his nose,

And giving a yip, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a bark,

And away they all flew for a quick walk in the park.

But I heard him bark twice as he flew out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"


Anyways, I wanted to share what fun I was having subbing. Again, I realize this isn't that great (although with some more time spent on it could probably be really cute). I'm just bored and post just about anything. Hope y'all are doing well! God bless!

A "Mary" Christmas

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." ~Luke 10:38-42~

The Lord has really laid this on my heart during this season. Especially today. Like I said, I tend to get really wrapped up in the going-ons of the holiday season (gift buying, wrapping, food planning and preparation, etc.) and forget myself and what I really need to be doing. I think I do this in life in general a lot. I get distracted like Martha. It is ever so hard for me to have the posture of Mary when my sinful nature tends to bring out the Martha in me. And I get frustrated with others when they aren't doing what I think they should be doing. And the list goes on. Martha and I seem to be twins separated at birth (and by several centuries...haha). I just love this passage because it resonates so deeply within me, almost as if it was written just for my heart.

But what I really need to be doing is laying at His feet, soaking Him in. I'm in a season of a lot of changes, decisions, etc. and I need to be there now more than ever. I can't figure out what He wants from me if I'm not willing to listen and am consistently pouring myself into various other things in my environment.

So I'm praying this season that my Christmas is more "Mary" and less "Martha" (although, I'm sure Martha was a beautiful person as well but just as conflicted as the rest of us!).

One prayer request - I found out yesterday that some sisters in KXA who are a few years younger than me unexpectedly lost their father on Monday. And not only is it just these two sisters, but they have four other siblings as well. I can't imagine what their mother (or any of them for that matter) is going through. I don't know these girls very well at all (they were pledging as I was graduating) but my heart aches for them and their family. So just be in prayer for them as not only is such a loss so devastating, but especially so close to Christmas.

Hope y'all are enjoying the holidays so far! God bless!

I Have a Masters Degree....Now What?!?!

So like I said in my previous post, I graduated from grad school this past weekend! Here are some (not so great) pictures of the festivities:

So that was my exciting weekend. It feels so good to officially be done! After the ceremony, we went to the Cheesecake Factory and celebrated. Too much fun.

Anyways, now I'm just continuing subbing, getting ready to start preservice training (classes) for teacher certification and really not much else.

God bless!

Light at the End of a 21 Year Long Tunnel!

So on Saturday, a rather momentous occassion will occur. I will finish my 21 year long stint of a schooling career. I started preschool at 3 and am FINALLY ending school at 24. PRAISE THE LORD!!! Now this doesn't mean I won't go back later or anything but I am so glad to be done with the papers, the tests, the late night studying and the craziness of it all. I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything but I am very glad they are finished :0)

Unfortunately, for my teacher certification, I will be in class 3 times a week, one time online and will be taking tests and such for it. Not really school but still! I will be done with all that junk in April and hopefully well on my way to being a teacher.

Anyways, just wanted to check in before I head up to Denton. I am leaving tomorrow morning and will be stopping in to see my Bear Creek (the school where I worked last year) friends and students and then will be heading up to Denton to stay with Ashley and Lauren! Yay! I've seen Ash a couple times since leaving but I haven't seen Lauren since August so I am very excited to spend some time with these lovely ladies! Yay!

God bless!

Happy Trails To You

So I took a risk this weekend. I went camping (thats not the risk - I love camping!) with my new church group not knowing very many people very well (there's the risk - if you know me, you know that this is a pretty scary thing for me!). TOO MUCH FUN! I am so glad I went. Here's how it all went down.

We met at some girls apartment on Friday evening, packed all our stuff in and headed out to Stephen F. Austin State Park (near Sealy and San Felipe - ridden my bike there a couple times). I rode in the car with 3 other girls and they were so great. Two of us were new and the other had moved away a couple months ago but had come in town to go camping with us. The other girl had been going for a while and caught us all up on what was going on with the group. The other new girl actually knew Ashley and had gone to Dulles HS with her and their brothers had played baseball together (Ashley, I'll tell you about this later!). The other girl that had come back in town was so precious. And she made me feel so much better about my decision to teach. She had just finished a Masters in Public Health and then decided that really what she wanted to do was teach and now teaches Kindergarden in Weatherford (near Ft. Worth). So I'm not the only silly one that gets a Masters in something random (although, mine is related) and then decides to teach. The girl that had gone to the group for a while is a middle school teacher in Ft. Bend and she was telling me all about FBISD in case I decide to apply there.

Anyways, after some missed exits and turns, we finally got to the campsite. We all just kinda sat around the fire and talked and then went to bed. It took me like 4 hours to fall asleep that night. I kinda knew that was gonna happen anyways, but man was that a long 4 hours! It didn't help that I was also sleeping right on top of a tree root.

The next morning we all woke up. Some went running (haha... not me! give me a bike any day, but no running!) and some of us just got ready for the day. I figured since a shower (we use the term shower here very loosely) was available, I might as well take one so I at least start out clean.

After that, we all had breakfast (eggs, sausage, fruits, etc.) and then went on a hike. It was fun. We got some good pics (although, I don't have any - my camera is currently in South Africa with my dad). Then we came back and ate lunch. It was chicken noodle soup. The girl who did the food thought it was going to be much colder on the trip so hence the warm and hearty food. However, it was like 80 degrees. Oi.

Anyways, after lunch we kinda sat around and then took off to play soccer and some California kickball (a kinda crazy mixed up version of kickball - you need to play sometime!) It was fun but pretty warm outside. After that we came back and sat around for a little bit. Cooling off mainly. Then we played Charades and that was A LOT of fun and very funny. We were supposed to go on a caroling hay ride after that but for whatever reason, we did not. Oh well.

We then returned to our campsite and had hobo dinners for dinner. If you have never tried one of these you need to! All you do is put an uncooked hamburger patty, some mixed vegetables and some frozen french fries all in some foil, sprinkle with seasoning salt, wrap it all up and then stick it on some coals for a while until done. After they are done, you can put ketchup or cheese or whatever on it and enjoy! Surprisingly good. I really didn't expect much but I liked it. And they weren't too greasy or unhealthy either because nothing was fried.

After that, we had some really good praise and worship time and sat around the fire just talking and fellowshipping. We turned in fairly early that night because we were all so exhausted. I slept pretty well despite the circumstances I think because I was so exhausted.

We woke up the next morning a little damp from all the humidity and dew. We kinda packed up our stuff, ate some lil smokies and waffles (eggos heated up over the fire - who knew?) for breakfast and then broke down and cleaned up our sites. Just as we were leaving, it started to drizzle so it was perfect timing!

So that was my fun weekend. I really really had a good time. Unfortunately, I have returned with some pretty bad chest congestion which will hopefully clear up soon. We shall see. The people in my group are so great. They are funny, honest, not afraid to be themselves, accepting and overall just wonderful and most importantly, Godly. I just love being with them! Community with them is such an answer to prayer and I'm so excited to get more involved and to develop deeper relationships with them. Last night at church, Shane and Shane and Bethany Dillon (who is engaged to the not married Shane) led worship and it was SO amazing! I need to download or buy some of their music because it is very powerful and they are just amazing. After church, we all headed over to Pei Wei (yay!). Again, great fellowship! Also, dinner after church often brings out more people in our class and some that aren't as involved so it was good to meet more new people and find out about their lives. Jenny also got to go with me last night so I had a good time with her and she calmed my nerves in bad traffic and confusing directions!

Okay, so that was a long post. I have more to say but will save it for later. Hope y'all are doing well and congrats to my Baylor and UNT friends who are finished with finals! Yay!

Little Elves

My brother made this. Too funny. I had tears in my eyes from laughing. You NEED to watch it! Haha...

I think you should make your own!

Current Events

* Got accepted to Region 4's teacher certification program today! So now I'm on my way to being a special ed teacher and I'm pretty stinkin' excited :0)

* Got to eat lunch with Ashley today and that was so wonderful! We tried out California Pizza Kitchen at Memorial City Mall. Neither of us had every been and it was super yummy! We shared a white pizza (four kinds of white cheese and spinach) and each had a really good ceasar salad. If you get the chance to try that restaurant, I highly recommend it! I am so excited for Ashley (and Gibson!) to move back to Houston next year.

* Almost done with Christmas shopping! Yay! I think I only have 2 people left to finish up and I have some ideas for them. I think the hardest person is my dad. He has all the bike stuff he needs. He has all the coffee stuff he needs. There's nothing he really wants or needs. So what do I get him? Its a tough one...

* I think my church hunt is over!! PTL!! I decided to go back to Houston First Baptist and am attending the Sunday evening class, MetroLink, and service. Its been amazing. The people there are not only extremely friendly, welcoming and inclusive but also, they are Godly, authentic, amazing men and women that I am excited to get to know more. I am going camping this weekend with them and couldn't be more excited! I love to camp and this will give me a good chance to get to know and fellowship with them more. The church and all the activities are quite a drive for me but have proved to be more than worth it. I am truly blessed...

* Just substituting around the district and its gone pretty well! Today, I got a letter from the sub office with a sub evaluation form filled out from one of the teachers I subbed for. Usually when you get those, it is NOT a good thing at all and that teacher wants you removed from the campus. No one really fills them out for doing a good job but they can if they want. A teacher I subbed for two days this week had filled one out and said I was doing a fantastic job. Its always nice to be affirmed and it blessed me a lot to get that today. I was nervous when I was opening it because I felt like I've been doing okay subbing! Hehe..

* I graduate next weekend!! Yay yay yay!! I really thought this day would never come! I will officially be DONE with school (for now anyways) and its so exciting to be able to say that after being in school since I was 3 (I'm including preschool).

Okay. I think thats all. I hope y'all are doing well. Christmas is coming! God bless!

Disabled Veterans

Today I rode the Independence Ride in Wallis, TX benefiting disabled veterans.

Now what image comes to mind when you think of an average disabled veteran?

I think of an older gentleman in maybe his 60s or 70s.

Reality really hit today at this ride.

Many of the disabled vets that were there were young. Very young. My age. My brother's age. It broke my heart.

I'm not really sure where I stand on the war. You would think someone who grew up in the midst (literally!) of the Gulf War would have a strong stand one way or another. But I don't. I see things wrong with it and I see things not neccessarily right, but justified with it. Maybe I'm a pacifist by nature and don't really understand how human beings can do these things to one another and feel okay about it. I dunno. It boggles me.

Anyways. Its just been on my mind all day. My brother could be one of those guys now saddled in a wheelchair and fighting for his independence. And the amazing sacrifice that these very young men (I didn't see any women today but I know there are some) made for their country. I'm not emotionally patriotic or anything but I do love my country (not everything about it but in general) and feel very blessed to be an American citizen. And these young vets are putting their love into action. How humbling.

Otherwise, besides sobering, the ride was pretty good. I started off fairly strong (for me anyways) and had a good tailwind behind me. However, as I turned the corner the sidewind and later the headwind hit and man oh man. I was dying. I opted to do a shorter route (40 miles) than originally planned (60 miles) but feel I might have died if I had gone an additional 20 into the wind (and that whole extra 20 would have been into the wind...oi vey). I told my dad I would do 60 miles next time we rode and then he informed that there really weren't anymore organized rides like this until January. Oh well. Enough about cycling.

I finally finished putting up all the Christmas decorations and am fairly pleased. Its nothing special and certainly not perfect but I like it and it makes me very happy :0)

My mom got back from Florida. She said it was okay. Apparently my grandma is turning into a somewhat unpleasant and manipulative elderly woman. I still love her and she is definitely not that way to me that I know of, but it still makes me hurt for her. I know she is frustrated and depressed but I really just want her to be happy, have a full life and know that Jesus loves her. Just keep praying for her. Her health is not so wonderful (my mom had to give very clear instructions to her on how to eat appropriately - she has dropped 20 lbs. in the past few months and thats a lot for someone who is only 4'11! Now you know where I get height from) so yeah. I dunno. Just lift her up if you think about it.

Okay I think I've typed enough for now. I have various thoughts and pieces of news so I'll try and space it out over the next few days.

God bless!

Its Beginning to Look A Lot Like CHRISTMAS!

Well, I didn't get a sub job for today so the day was spent picking up around the house, running some errands AND doing Christmas shopping and decorating! How glorious! I just love this time of year and start eagerly anticipating its arrival around my birthday (in September - go ahead and make fun). This year however, I have been instructed to scale back on Christmas decor because my parents are showing their home on a regular basis in hopes of selling it and I've had to scale back on my shopping b/c of lack of a job (there is exciting news on the horizon - I'll share more in a later post once things materialize). But I still love the spirit and buzz of activity that occurs during this time of year, so my spirits aren't dampened too much. Plus, the decor, shopping and whatever else are not really what the season is about anyways so maybe having to scale back on what I normally get caught up in will help me to focus all my attention on why there is even a Christmas season at all and for that lesson/reminder I am blessed and grateful :0)

A general update on life...

So, my updates have been a little scattered as of late as well as more about certain special events in my life as opposed whats happening overall. So I decided it was time for a general update on life.

Job/ Internship: Just 3 days left of my internship! Pretty glad about that. So ready to get a real job and get paid for it :0) They might offer me a job there and I'm thinking about taking it and working there while I work on my teacher certification. We'll see. I'm not entirely sure about that plan at this point.

Teacher certification: I have applied and am waiting for my transcripts to come in. Hopefully that will be next week and I will have everything in by December 14 (thats the deadline for me since I applied on November 14).

Ella: Took her to the vet today. She was so good. Still testing positive for Lyme Disease so they gave me some more medicine for her in hopes of clearing it up. If she still tests positive for it after that it just means she has antibodies that are producing a positive on the bloodtest. She got her immunizations today and was so good. Didn't even flinch one bit. The nurse muzzled her at first to do some things (neither Ella or I were very happy about that) but that was taken off and things went fine. Tonight she will probably get an ice cream treat for being so good at the vet. Yeah, I'm a sucker. I just feel so bad taking her there because she is so miserable and stressed out when she goes. Haha... Otherwise, she is doing great. She misses having another dog around to play with.

Church: I've decided to go back to HFBC. I think it is worth the drive. I went to their Sunday night singles class and then the church service and really loved it. I also saw my friend from Baylor, Andrew Ginakis, so it was good to see him there too. In a few weeks, the singles class is going on a camping trip and I think I might be brave and go despite not knowing anyone in the class. I guess I'll really get to know people that way! Haha..

Boys: What do you think?? Haha... I wish I had exciting news here but I don't. Someday though. I did have a dream last night that I was getting married. It was the night before and I realized I had forgotten to order the cake and get photographers and was super stressed about it. Then, at the beginning of the ceremony, the pastor called off the wedding and sent everyone home because a lightening storm was coming. I was depressed after that in my dream. Not to mention my dress was super ugly too. Weird.

Living situation: Trying to move out within the next few months. Difficult though. I need a townhome or something of the like with a backyard for Ella. She really is too big and too active of a dog to be left at home all day and then to not be able to roam around free of a leash for a while after I get home. Her breed especially is inclined to roaming so I really feel that she needs that leash-free roaming time. I'll still walk her and such but she really does need that yard. I've found a few things but they are 3 bedrooms and I don't need that. Two is a lot and I would be okay with it but I'd really just prefer 1. We'll see. Just pray that I find what I need at the time that I need it.

I think I covered everything. This week has been good. Kyle came home yesterday so I've been hanging out w/ him and the fam. Yesterday we went to WalMart and I got the Hairspray DVD and we watched it last night. So great! Today, I went to lunch with Ashley, one of my old roomates and got to catch up with her. It was so good to see her. Too bad lunch couldn't have lasted longer but we both had stuff to do. I'm excited because she is moving back to Houston sometime next summer so she can start her LSSP internship year/first year in either Katy or Fort Bend ISD. I might be teaching Special Ed in one of those districts so maybe she can be my LSSP! Haha...

Hope y'all have a happy Thanksgiving. Get excited because the radio stations start playing Christmas music around the clock tomorrow. Yay! I've been listening to the radio station I listened to while living in DFW online because they started playing Christmas music November 1. Some people are really perturbed about it but not me! I love it!

God Bless!

Ren Fest!

So this past weekend, I had the delightful and rather interesting experience of going to the Texas Renaissance Festival up near Magnolia. I have wanted to go for the past 8 1/2 years (when I moved here from Saudi) and I finally got the chance. I went with Audrey, her boyfriend, Andrew and Mina. Too much fun. And too much food! Haha... After more than 5 hours of walking around and seeing all there was to see, here are the pictures! Beware though...apparently showing a lot of cleavage and in some cases a lot of skin in other places so if you see any, don't be too alarmed. It took me a couple of hours of being there to not be so shocked by it every time I saw it. Anyways, here are the pics!

Mina enjoying a giant turkey leg

Barbarians dancing (it was Barbarian weekend @ Ren Fest)

Jousting tournament

Andrew being very talented at the stick juggling thing - he has some serious skills!

Audrey (she's sitting opposite of Andrew) and Andrew in a cool swing

Some lady's cool peacock feather dress

I love these cool hammock chairs! It felt really good to sit in after walking around that much. If I had any money, that is one thing I would have bought myself :0)

A girl doing amazing stunts. Yeah - she's only hanging onto two pieces of fabric. Pretty cool. She was a tiny girl but had amazing muscles to hold herself up like that!

Cool swing we got to go on :0)

My feet while we are swinging :0)

I love listening to bagpipes. This guy and the other guys he was playing with were jamming.

Riding an elephant with Audrey :0) Yeah, that elephant is taking a leak. Its not just your imagination.

Belly dancing. That one lady in the middle was actually pretty good!

And this picture isn't from Ren Fest. Its a picture of the business next to where we ate dinner later that night. Read carefully what it says on the window. Anything strike you odd?

So Ren Fest was busy and fun. I highly recommend it but make sure you a) bring good walking shoes b) bring a good amount of money - its not necessarily a cheap thing to do on a weekend. But worth it.

Update on my grandma - She came out of surgery fine and came home from the hospital today. She's still weak and feeling yucky but otherwise okay and my aunt is there to help her out. She wanted to stay in the hospital longer but said the treatment by the nurses and other staff there was so horrible that she had to leave. Hopefully she'll keep getting better instead of worse. Just keep praying for her!

Anyways, I have more to say but this post has gotten long enough. Maybe tomorrow.

Hope y'all are doing well and gettin' excited for Turkey Day! God bless!

PS - I'm having formatting problems w/ this post so if it looks a little funny, I can't help it! I tried to fix it a couple times but it keeps reverting back to what it was before. So sorry!

Pray For My Grandma Please!

My sweet grandma is having surgery tomorrow (its either gastrointestinal or urological - I'm not sure which). She has been in a lot of pain the past few months, so hopefully this will help alleviate her misery. My aunt is flying out next week to take care of her once she gets out of the hospital and then my mom is flying out after Thanksgiving to stay with her for a while too. Hopefully this will be a sweet time for them despite the circumstances. They don't always get along with each other (my mom's family is kinda crazy) so hopefully they can put their differences aside and enjoy the time together. Also, my grandma isn't really saved either, so maybe some more seeds will be planted during the next few weeks. She thinks she's going to heaven because she is a good woman and doesn't do bad thins, but as far as any relationship goes, there isn't really evidence of one. Anyways, just pray that things will be already, healing will be speedy and love and warmth will surround during her time with her daughters.

I'm trying to decide whether to get certified to teach. Its a big decision and not one I need to rush into or take lightly. But I do need to make a decision soon her as the deadline to apply and register for January trainings is fast approaching. It involves a pretty significant financial commitment. I think its what I want to do, but I feel like I jump around a lot from thing to thing because I can't decide. Maybe I do and maybe I don't, but I just want to stick with something, do it and do it well. I think I would be a good special ed teacher. I was a good aide. My feelings about my internship ebb and flow so I'm not sure if I do or don't want to do it. I like the part of working with the families and like most of my coworkers, but not much else. I dunno.

Anyways, excited about this weekend. Probably going to the Renaissance Festival with Audrey (and maybe some others - let me know if you want to come - all are welcome!). I have wanted to go every year for 8 years and I think the time has come! Yay!

Hope y'all are doing well. God bless!

Sic 'em bears - Homecoming '07

So, I went to Baylor this past weekend for homecoming. So fun! I stayed with my sweet friend Kimberly and got to see nearly everyone on my list of people I wanted to see. Unfortunately, as well intentioned as I am about taking lots of pictures, I carry my camera everywhere but forget to take pictures. Here are some of the few that I did get.

Sweet Min and I at the bonfire. Unfortunately, we had this huge white light shining on us, so the picture isn't that great. I love this girl! Need to visit her in DC soon!

Fun KXA friends @ the bonfire (Min, Diane, Kim, me, Katie)

The Texas Tech double T in flames. Too bad we didn't really burn them at the football game the next day :0(

My sweet ENGAGED friend Nikki! She was KXA's homecoming nominee this year and although I didn't actually get to see her in the parade, the pictures of her were gorgeous (would you expect any different from this girl!?!) Can't wait til her wedding!

Sarah Bush! I absolutely adore this precious girl! She's one of those people who just warms your heart to be around :0)

Oh baby brother! He was so sweet and cooked all the hot dogs and hamburgers at the KXA alumni tailgate (not only is he my little brother, but he's a Big Brother for KXA too - the Stewart legacy lives on...)

Baylor not winning :0( One year, it will be the year of the Bear. Not this year though!

The Golden Wave Band performing Thriller! It was AWESOME!

The hostess w/ the mostest! Can't get enough of this sweet friend!

Sweet KXA friends at the football game (as we were leaving not too far into the 3rd quarter - it was too hot and too depressing at that point to stay). Such sweet girls :0)

So that was some of my weekend. I basically just hung out and saw sweet friends that I missed and ate a lot of food. Hehe...

Unlike last year though, I didn't come away grieving the loss of my college years. I think I am slowly becoming okay and adjusting to (out of necessity) my single adult life. I still miss Baylor, but maybe not in the same way that I did previously.

This week has been okay. Went to a teacher certification info meeting last night. Pretty good. I need to pray before I start applying and investing my money in this. I think it is what I am supposed to do, but I just want to be sure. I mean nothing is ever a sure thing, but I want to have peace about going through this process.

Hope y'all are doing well. God bless!

Ella's First Halloween (well with me anyways...)

Well, tonight was pretty fun! Ella didn't quite make it through the night in her bumblebee costume (moped around and then faked an injury so we would take it off of her...drama queen!) but I did get a precious picture of her in her costume though before all that:

She really enjoyed meeting all the trick or treaters. She gave them kisses and let them love and pet on her all they wanted. She also tried to steal some candy but that was rather unsuccessful. So she settled on eating a stick from the front yard. Here is her and I sitting outside waiting for the trick or treaters:

So yeah. We only sat out there for like 45 minutes. No one really trick or treats that much anymore but we did give away most of the candy. There was one huge spurt of people but it was over almost as quickly as they came. Here's the pumpkin I carved (a favorite activity of mine!) with some assistance from my dad:

I think the picture in the dark is much better b/c you can't see the sharpie lines from where I messed up. Oh well. I'm glad it made it through the night though b/c one part was just hanging by a string and wanted to fall off.

Anyone else do anything fun for Halloween?

Interesting story of the day from my internship: A mom breastfed her child. Her 26 month old child. In front of me and two of my co-workers. Not once. Not twice. Not three times. 4 times (in 2 hours)! Boob hanging out and everything. And the child was telling mom which boob she wanted to drink from. AWKWARD!!!

Well, must get some rest. Substituting for a PPCD class tomorrow. So excited!

God bless!

New found respect for my teacher friends...

So today, I gained new respect for my teacher friends.

Holy moly.

So, today was my first day of subbing in Cy-Fair. I was a little nervous, but excited. My assignment was for a kindergarden (I'm still not sure how to spell that word) class of 20 kids. Now I'm much more comfortable working in a special ed classroom with 5 kids. But I thought it would be okay.

Oh my gosh. Within the first hour, a kid physically assaulted me and was removed from my room. The kids constantly argued with me, talked back, completely ignored me or found some other way to create problems in the classroom. I was dying! And I thought it was all my fault. No one had prepared me for this!

Well, later in the day, the teacher next to my room (Everyone can hear what is going on in the rooms b/c its like one big room divided with bookshelves. I know there's a word for this type of set up but can't remember it) came over and said I was doing a great job with the class and that they were an extremely difficult class. Their normal teacher struggles with them on a daily basis. It made me feel so much better because I totally thought it was all me and my inadequacy to be a teacher.

But holy cow. I don't know if I could do a class like that on a daily basis! Geez! Luckily, a para was in the room with me for the afternoon (and I have great respect for them b/c I used to be one!) so that made my job a little easier b/c she knew the kids and how to handle them.

There were some sweet ones that redeemed the day for me so that was good. One told me I was the best teacher ever (pretty sure she tells everyone that) and another told me I was beautiful like a beauty. Haha... so sweet. Too bad their sweetness couldn't rub off on the rest of the class. I felt bad b/c most of my time there was spent dealing with the problem kids in the class and ignoring the good ones. They didn't seem mad, but I felt bad for not getting to pay any attention to them. I praised them for doing a great job when I had a chance, but that time was limited.

So anyways. Hopefully I'll get some more special ed calls soon (not always a pleasant experience I realize though) in an environment I'm more comfortable in. Hopefully not all classes I substitute for will be that awful.

Anyways, I just wanted to let my teacher friends know I have a new found great respect for them! Bless you all!

The School Bus Hit My Car!

Hello friends! So the past week has been rather eventful. Where should I start???

Well, the internship was rather uneventful this week. Actually, boring is a better descriptor of my week. Monday, I had training in the morning which was okay. After that, I went on some home visits with a girl (who was super nice) and then I was supposed to drive across town to get a flu shot. Well, at that same time a downpour/monsoon started here in Houston. It was 3 and I needed to be in another part of Houston before 4 to get my flu shot. No big deal usually. Well, it took me longer to get across town than normal but I got there at 3:50. Just in time, right? Ha! They had already packed up and gone home for the day with the flu shots. Argh! So I had risked my life in a monsoon to get this shot and didn't even get it. And now I had to drive back across town to home in the still persisiting monsoon. It took me 2 hours!! Ugh. On Tuesday, the rain had stopped, but the day was not so good either. I was supposed to meet the same girl from the day before at 8:00 a.m. to follow her around some more. Well, her car got water in the engine so she couldn't come in. So I sat there in the office for a couple hours (mind you, when I'm not following someone or in a training class, I have nothing to do at my internship - and this happens rather frequently) and finally found another girl to follow for a bit. But she didn't have much either. So we sat some more with nothing to do. I was supposed to go to a visit later in the day with her, but we got there and the mom had forgotten about the important 2 hour meeting that was supposed to happen. So we left and went back to the office and did nothing. A horribly monotonous and unproductive day. Wednesday, I had more training which was okay. I had jury duty that afternoon but that was uneventful and I was dismissed 45 minutes after I got there. So I got home and started doing things around the house. Which leads me to my next story.

So, I normally park my car on the street outside my parents house. Thats what I did on Wednesday. Well, later that evening, my mom and I were going to meet my dad for dinner. As we went by my car, my mom goes, "Look! There's a huge dent in your car!" Oh dear. So, I called to file a police report the next morning and that guy just treated me like I was stupid and was like go solve it with your neighbor across the street because clearly someone backed out and hit it. Well, talking with our neighbor across the street is just something no one does. The police are very familiar with him (but apparently not this policeman). He just causes a lot of issues. Has had several loud loud loud drinking parties on weeknights keeping the whole neighborhood up. His son is involved in a gang and drugs and there has been a drive by shooting across the street from our house. His son is now on the run from the police for a drug charge. We just really didn't want to confront him. Luckily, our next door neighbors helped us rule them out. Apparently the damage had been done between 2:30 and 4:00 when the buses bring kids home, a landscaping truck had been parked across the street partially blocking the street and making it a narrow squeeze on our street. The paint on my car is black and yellow and my car had been moved a foot and suspended against the curb. Clearly something large couldn't get through the opening and nudged my car a bit. We got the police back out (a nicer guy this time) and made a report, so thats getting resolved. I called the school district and they are being super nice about working with me so far and I'm meeting with them this week to see if it really was one of their buses. Here's a pic of the damage:

Thursday, I got my haircut (sorry, no pics). Its okay. Shorter than I like but I still like it. It'll grow eventually. Nothing else really eventful happened that day besides dealing with the police and insurance company.

Friday, my brother came home and we did things to celebrate his and my dad's birthdays (Kyle's was the 15th, my dad's is the 22nd). I made two cakes this weekend which was wonderful. I haven't gotten to do that in a long time (maybe since May!). They turned out pretty decent. Nothing too fancy, but I liked them. Here are the pics of the cakes:

Saturday, I got to do my favorite thing each week. For the month of October, I have been volunteering to be a buddy for a soccer league in Katy for kids with special needs. I've also got my dad going too because he can't go on rides on Saturday mornings for a while because of his collarbone. I love it! This week, I was buddies with this precious little boy named Ben who has Downs. I'm not sure why, but I'm really passionate about working with kids with Downs. He had no interest in playing soccer besides reading the letters on the soccer balls, but I still had a good time with him and his dad. Next week is our last week which I'm very sad about. There's an awards party the following week, but I will be in Waco for Baylor's homecoming (so excited!). I'm so glad I found out about this opportunity because its brought a great deal of joy to my weekends! It also has made me lean towards getting certified to teach special ed. I really think thats what I might do. I've thought about a lot of options and I think despite the hard job that it is, I really want to do that. I'm researching the different alternative certification options and am praying hard about what to do. I really miss working with the kids I worked with last year (way more than I thought I ever would).

This morning at church was pretty good. I went back to a church I had tried like 6 weeks ago. I was not impressed with the service then and I really wasn't this morning. However, the singles group, although small, was FANTASTIC! They teach the Word, pray for each other, go out and do fun things and the people (mostly girls - they were so fun!) were great! I can't wait to go back. What an answer to a prayer that has been on the forefront lately!

I think I'll end with a prayer request. My sweet friend Audrey (we've been friends since we were like 10!) is going through a really hard time right now. Her dad has stage 4 liver cancer that has spread and at his last appointment, the results were not good. She is also a first year teacher so that has a lot of stresses. Anyways, if you could just lift her and her family up, that would be great.

So, I'm off to start another exciting week. God bless! Here's a pic of Ella helping Kyle fix dinner that will make you smile:

I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee...

Hehe. Well, last week, Target was having a fantastic sale ($8!) on their Halloween costumes....for dogs. Hehe. And you know I couldn't resist. After much discussion with my dad, we decided Ella should be a pumpkin for Halloween. Well, unfortunately, they were out of pumpkin costumes in her size (its tough being a big girl!) so we went with the next best thing - a bumblebee! Unfortunately, Ella's enthusiasm for her sweet new costume is significantly less than mine. I tried it on her (much to her chagrin and struggling to get away) and got two pictures (she is also scared of the camera, so the costume and the camera weren't such a great combination anyways). So here is my sweet girl in her costume:

Clearly, she is trying to escape me as I take her picture. But ya' know, my mom heard on like The Today Show or something like that that they are having a contest and you should send pictures of your dog in their costume in and the winner of the contest gets a trip to New York. I really want to go to New York (of all the places I have been, NY is not one of them!) so yeah. I'm using my dog to make my dream come true. Haha...

Anyways. Last weekend, my parents and I drove up to Waco for the day to see my brother (don't be hurt that I didn't call people - I wasn't there that long!) and do an early bday celebration (he's turning the big 2-1 on Monday...yikes!). As it happened, my sweet sweet friends, Jeremy and Chelsea who recently moved to Boston were in town to visit their church and luckily had about an hour to spare to see me! Oh how I miss them! Anyways, Ella got to meet them and pretty much loved them. Here is a picture of all of us:

So yeah. Just wanted to give you an update on the life of Ella. I love that dog!

God bless!

A little frustration

So, I've really just been struggling with a few things lately (and I've probably lamented about them before) and I just don't know how to fix the situations or what to do about them. Let me know if you have any ideas. My frustrations are:

1. Its not just a lack of knowing what I want to do after I graduate with my Masters. Its knowing what to do with my Masters. I feel sometimes as if that program were a waste of my time and I should have done something different because so far its getting me nowhere fast. There seem to be no jobs for me that require a Masters and/or do not recognize that I have a Masters and therefore will not compensate me for that qualification. Its frustrating to feel like I have worked hard on it and put myself in debt (argh...student loans!) over it and nothing is coming of it. Now, I loved my program for the most part. I liked learning all about it and researching it and stuff. But was it really worth it?? I feel like if I had done an MSW program or something like that, I might have been better off. But I'm certainly not willing to put myself in more debt to get another degree so I am a desired applicant. I was talking to a girl the other day and she said if she had a Masters, she would accept $50-$60K/ year and no less. Its not about the money...really it isn't. But when you are looking to pay back a significant amount of student loans, it kinda has to be a little bit. So why do other people with Masters make that much but I can't?
2. Church. I'm beginning to hate it. The institution of it at least. I love the Lord and realize that this thing we call "church" was created so that we could fellowship and grow with other believers. But I feel like it has gone so wrong. Few churches seem to really get what being a true church is about. And very few want to minister to singles in their 20s and refuse to even attempt to. Everything is about being married and having kids and such. That seems to be what ministry is about. But what about those of us who are not called to that at this time? We might desire it, but we are not there right now and are here for a certain reason. So why is this specific group so ignored and/or pitied? Jenny and I have tried several churches in the area and just are kinda frustrated and dismayed with things. We don't feel like we should have to drive 30 minutes to church every Sunday and only participate on Sundays because the church is so far from us. So whats the solution? I feel very isolated and alone and missing the community that I so strongly desire and yearn for.
3. Houston. Love it and hate it. I love being near my family and doing some things around the city. But I hate the busy-ness of it all. The fast paced life that never seems to ease up. THE TRAFFIC. Not much I can do about it, but a frustration nonetheless.

Okay thats enough griping for the day. I have a few more items that I am frustrated with but are not blog-worthy and rather trivial at best. So yeah. Since I griped, I think it is only appropriate to say what is blessing me right now and making me joyful.

1. Living with my parents (most of the time). It is so nice to not have to worry about many things that if I were living alone, would be worrysome. Sometimes its hard to live with them, but things are going okay right now. Not something I want to do forever, but good for right now.
2. Jenny Sheets. I love that we are living in the same place and are kinda in similar places in our lives right now. I don't think I would be making it very well if God had not placed her in my life, especially at this time. Really the only community I receive on a regular basis and I love this girl! I could go on, but maybe in another post, because this girl is amazing!
3. Ella. I know she's just my dog, but she brings me an indescribable kind of joy that really is comforting. She drives me crazy sometimes but am truly thankful for this extra blessing in my life.
4. Spare time. I think this will be the last time in my life for a while where I will have spare time. I am able to get in the Word on a nearly daily basis, walk my dog, go out with friends, do things on weekdays that I normally would not be able to and just relax a little. I complain about the boredom but I think I will miss this freedom when its gone in a few months.

Okay. Enough. Another marathon post for my faithful readers.

God bless!

Pretty sizzles, sexy fizzles

Modest really is hottest.... and the fashion world is starting to agree!

So, I read Beth Moore/Living Proof Ministries blog every now and then and they discussed this article in the Houston Chronicle and how the fashion world is taking a turn towards "cute" and "sweet" rather than the typical "sexy". So thats good news for us who don't think showing our butt cracks and/or cleavage is appropriate and that now when we go shopping, it might not be such a struggle to find appropriate things to wear that are stylish too! Yay!

`Pretty' sizzles, `sexy' fizzles
Designers get away from steamy looks; now `cute' is in

By CLIFFORD PUGH
Copyright 2007 Houston Chronicle

MILAN — Here in the Italian fashion capital, there's a rich history of glitzy, glamorous body-baring designs.

The late Gianni Versace and former Gucci designer Tom Ford pioneered the steamy look in the 1990s. Roberto Cavalli and Dolce & Gabbana, along with Versace's sister, Donatella, and Gucci designer Frida Giannini continued the tradition. Houston women who work out regularly and love to show off their well-toned bodies love their risque creations.

But something strange has happened with spring 2008 collections: Sex has virtually disappeared.

Retailers have used words like "pretty," "cute" and "flirty" to sum up the looks. "Steamy" and "sensual" have been missing from the lexicon.

"There's much more of a feminine spirit and a fanciful spirit in the air here," Neiman Marcus fashion director Ken Downing said. "It's more about flirting as opposed to an obvious, overt sexiness. But there's nothing better than a good flirt, don't you think?"

A lot of skimpy mini-skirts were spotted on the runways. But lengths just as often stopped just below the knee or skimmed the floor. Pants were varied, too, from skinny stovepipe legs to super-wide bell bottoms. Day dresses and evening gowns rarely hugged the body, although they thankfully no longer expand to tent size proportions.

Cavalli — who has long championed tight leopard prints and plunging necklines — was among those leading the charge. Before his show, he said it was time to rediscover the "innocence of the woman."

Instead of his trademark form-fitting gowns, Cavalli showcased demure lace dresses, whispy tunics, coats made silk petals and loosely-draped evening attire. The setting was modeled after the Hall of Mirrors at the Palace of Versailles.

While a few designs plunged to the navel — despite Cavalli's new sentiments, he just couldn't seem to resist exposing a breast or two — the overall look was subdued.

Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, whose sexy-bordering-on-pornographic magazine ads showing group couplings have been banned in some countries, also jumped on the modesty bandwagon.

The duo's top-of-the-line collection featured voluminous ball gowns hand-painted with Impressionistic flowers, while their lower-priced D&G line showcased frilly floral print dresses with gladiator sandals.

Gucci's Giannini, who has put her stamp on the company in recent years, sent out a feminine collection of frothy pink cropped jackets, short skirts and draped minidresses mixed with harder-edged attire, like skinny checked pants and a snakeskin motorcycle jacket.

Her closing statement of pretty ball gowns in dramatic yellow, black or floral black and white print seemed suited for a charity ball — not a trendy statement. Far sexier: Gucci's sky-high gold stilettos with gold ankle cuffs. Shoes are where the sex is next season.

Donatella Versace, who became Versace's chief designer after her brother was murdered 10 years ago, also showed an uncharacteristically sedate collection. Dresses and evening gowns in popsicle colors were draped loosely.

The one body part Versace seems obsessed with: the back. Many gowns and some blouses featured exposed skin all the way down the spine.

Maybe it's just all in the timing. Fashion constantly changes to lure new customers, so each season new styles are unveiled as the next great thing. But the changes often are incremental.
Downing predicts that spring will be a continuation of the "really strong glamorous woman" that appeared on the runway for fall. "The clothes are a little softer. There are not as many jackets. You don't have as many constricting fabrics. But it's still a very dressed-up spirit," he said.
Another possible explanation for more practical styles: Milan has more female designers at major houses than any of the world's other fashion centers.

Women's Wear Daily notes that a large number of family-run companies — Prada, Albert Ferretti, Versace, Fendi, Missoni, and Etro — were founded by women or now run by daughters and sisters. The contingent also includes Consuelo Castiglioni at Marni, Anna Molinari at Blumarine, and new hires Alessandra Facchinetti at Valentino and Christina Ortiz at Salvatore Ferragamo.

Women's Wear Daily suggests that female designers are often more in tune with what works for women. "Women seem to know better what other women need, want and like to wear," Angela Missoni told the newspaper.

Not every designer stuck to the "pretty" look. The Canadian designers of Dsquared2 — who are men — created a collection that would have fit right in during Tom Ford's Gucci heyday, with black teddys, minis and "trikini" swimsuits studded with Swarvoski crystals. Next to the demure looks on other runways, the clothes looked tired and tawdry.


So, its not perfect yet, but at least we are moving in the right direction! Be encouraged!

God bless!

PS - Here's the link to that article if you wanted it: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/life/style/5179253

Craig Biggio and Preemies

No, those two have nothing to do with each other. Just what has occurred in my life in the past two days.

Yesterday, I watched Biggio's last game ever (and the Astros season closer) on tv with my mom. Super sad I couldn't be there in person. I like Biggio because he is a classy guy and conducts himself in a classy way on and off the field. A role model I feel that truly deserves to be one. I also like that while he probably has a couple more good playing years left in him, he has decided to step aside for the sake of his kids and his wife. In my opinion, there's nothing more manly than that. He is laying aside all kinds of fame and glory for the sake of his family. Truly admirable. And will be very missed by Astros fans everywhere.

Today at my internship, our Child Find Coordinator (Kim - she's so sweet!) took us (the new kids) to Ben Taub Hospital to tour the NICU. We went to the Level III nursery (the most serious kids) and got to walk around. I've never seen a preemie, so it was so interesting (and sad) to see that. They didn't even look real. I was also surprised they let us get so close but I'm glad they did. I am so fascinated my the medical world, so this visit (although sobering) was right up my alley. It was also sad to hear some of the stories there because Ben Taub is a community hospital (where the people with no money/insurance are sent), so a lot of these families have sad stories anyways and now these precious babies are fighting for their lives.

Anyways, thats all really. Just some tidbits I wanted to share. God bless!

Church (and some other odds and ends)

So, I haven't really had a true "home church" since I was in high school. Mostly my fault and fear of commitment from some not so great experiences at churches. However, I deeply desire that type of community and fellowship to be involved in. And I'm just finding it sort of difficult. I'm not always sure why either. I think sometimes I'm overly critical of churches when attempting to be discerning. I am also finding it difficult to find a place in a church as a single adult. Some churches have no singles in their congregation and pay little attention to ministering to singles (which is fine - some churches have no need to do this) and others put so much focus on having a huge singles group that they are nearly a seperate entity from the church and there is very little integration with the rest of the church body and there is much lack of community because the group is so huge. Its hard to find a church with a balance. I seek a church that is doctrinely sound, its focus is completely on God and furthering the Kingdom, of moderate size, has a reasonable variety of ministries within and outside the church and the singles group (like any other group seeking to minister to people at a certain station in life) seeks to minister within itself as well as being fully integrated in the rest of the church body. I also don't want the singles group to be eharmony.com. While I think church is an optimal place to meet those of the opposite sex, I feel that singles groups are often "meat markets". I just feel that churches don't know what to do with their singles and singles don't know how to integrate within the church.

Thats just been my experience for the most part thus far. That, or the church is very far away from my house and impractical to be involved in more than just on Sundays or whatever. So what is the answer to this problem? Does anyone know of any churches for me to try? I tried a church with my sweet friend, Amy Sistrunk. It was good. Slightly more charismatic than I prefer, but still good. I'd be open to giving it some more chances. Amy said there was a small group of young singles there as well, so thats promising.

Anyways, this weekend has been okay. Its been nice to have my dad home, alhtough it was short. He came home from Brazil yesterday morning at 5:30 and left for Portugal this afternoon at 2:30. My poor daddy. Hopefully that will be the last of the traveling for at least a few weeks. We basically just ran around and did random stuff all weekend. I'm really praying for a close group of friends to do things on the weekends with so I don't feel like there is nothing to do but hang out with my parents. They are fun and all but I'd really like to have my own adult life seperate from my parents. So maybe in a month or two, I won't be spending my entire weekends with just my parents. We shall see.

I've really been struggling with a sense of purposelessness lately. I graduate with my Masters in December and have no idea where to go with it. My internship is okay but I feel that so much of it is caught up in running across the city, filling out obscene amounts of paperwork and making sure you are doing eveyrthing legal that the personal touch and connection often gets lost. I just don't know if I could love a job like that despite all the good it does for children and families. I know I'm passionate about that population, but I don't know if being an EIS (early intervention specialist) is how I want to serve them. I'm also passionate about a million other things, so its hard to choose what to pursue. I am so blessed to have the education that I do, but what do I do with that blessing that I've been given? Not only am I feeling purposeless in the long-term realm, but also the short-term realm. I only have my internship 3 days a week and am off for the other two. I applied to substitute in Cy-Fair but that won't be for another three weeks or so. So what do I do with the time off I've been given? I can only facebook/blog stalk and read for so long. I go on walks with Ella. I have no money to spend. So what should I do? How does God want me to use this time off?

I am very sad that my Baylor Bears did not beat those silly Aggies this weekend. But I can't say I'm really surprised. They did hold on well until the last quarter, so thats good I guess. Some year will be the year of the Bear. I hope its not when I'm 100.

Okay, this post has been way long enough. I'm off to get ready for bed. Have a great week! God bless!

Blah

Do you ever have one of those "blah" days where things just don't feel right even though nothing in particular is wrong? Yeah, its one of those. I'm just mopey and I dunno. It might be boredom - I really don't have much to do. I thought about putting extra hours into my internship for the next few weeks until subbing starts but oddly enough (and this may change eventually), I don't have any desire to be there. I thought about working on my Baylor/KXA tshirt quilt, but that would require buying fabric and such and I feel like any money I spend right now aside from a very occasional dinner out with a friend is wasted and unnecessary, especially since I am making $0. I dunno. I feel like I'm in a slump and like a fire has been put out in me. I want my heart to feel alive and afire.

Anyways. In exciting news, today in the mail,my new camera that I got for my birthday came. Be prepared for more picture-ful posts in the near future! Yay!

God bless!

Tilling the Soil

So lately, I have been thinking about my difficulties in adjusting to the "real world".

A couple of weeks ago, I visited a church (it was okay, maybe I'll try it again), but the message has really stuck with me. The pastor talked about tilling the soil where God has planted us. Now, I'm not always entirely happy about living in Houston, but I think I might feel this way anywhere. I feel lonely, empty, sometimes bored and sometimes frustrated and/or depressed. I think it is because I am not pouring myself into anything or doing any soil tilling. While I was at Baylor, I was deeply involved in a couple of things, especially KXA.

My question is, what do I get involved in now? How much time do I spend? I am overwhelmed by the possibilities and just haven't quite gotten the hang of managing my time in the "real world". What is too much? I know what I'm doing right now is too little.

Ideas I have come up with include being a Special Olympics coach, finding a church and getting involved in women's ministry, some type of ministry for children with special needs, getting Ella certified for pet therapy and a few random other ideas.

Any suggestions? Thoughts? I'm tired of living only within myself and doing nothing beyond, but its like I have this fear of trying anything beyond because I don't want to get in over my head. Sometimes the thought processes that go through my head make no sense whatsoever. I need help...

Hope y'all are doing well! God bless!

Birthdays, Collarbones, Bad Drivers and Mean People

So, since I decided to wait 3 weeks between posts, I'm backed up on news and thoughts and such. I really do love to blog, but sometimes get overwhelmed with the amount I would like to post about and just avoid it all together. So here are some "news briefs" to update you.

• On Labor Day, my dad was out doing his normal morning bike ride with his buddies. 2 miles before the end of a good 60 mile ride, his friend hit a rock and went down. Because my dad was only about a foot or so behind him (they were drafting), my dad had nowhere to go but over his friend. And he landed squarely on his shoulder. Now when most people break their collarbone, it cracks in the middle, the two pieces kinda slide over each other and it heals like that. Pretty simple and a recovery time of about 3 weeks or so. Well, since my dad can't do anything simple, he ended up shattering part of it and the two pieces had a significant separation between them. When my dad took his riding jersey off in the hospital I could literally see the bone sticking up (not breaking the skin though). So the only way to fix that kind of break is through surgery. So a week later, my dad had surgery in which they used some kind of tape to bring the bone back down, put the ligaments back where they needed to be and removed some pieces of bone. So now, he is on the mend but will be another 4 weeks with his arm in a sling, several weeks of PT after that and then maybe in about 8-10 weeks, he will be allowed to ride his bike again. He hates that! And a side effect of him being out is that him training me to be a rider has been put on hold. Minor issue, but I think we are both disappointed.
• My internship is going okay. Sometimes its a little boring because I'm just in training classes (helpful, but just tedious) or doing reading activities (some of which I've done nine thousand of in grad school). My time out in the field observing and participating is slowly increasing though so thats good and interesting. They switched me to an English speaking person to shadow, so that has been much easier for me to learn and understand what is going on. I've seen some interesting things out in the field, some really heart-wrenching. Anyways, everyone at my internship seems to be very nice. There is one difficult lady that I am training with, but mainly just because she never ever stops talking and it usually has nothing to do with what we are discussing, but she is still sweet and means well. The one thing I really really really hate about my internship is the driving. Ugh! The other drivers are horrible, nasty and just really bad! Complaining about it doesn't do anything, but it makes me feel a little better.
• I went to substitute teacher orientation last week. The lady who taught it was stinkin' hilarious. Unfortunately, Cy-Fair does their subs kinda screwy and I won't be able to work for 3 more weeks and won't get paid until November 15. Ugh. But it will be good and will help me save some money to pay back loans, move out on my own and things like that.
• I got to thinking the other day about society. More specifically, just how mean people have gotten. I was listening to a story on the news about something that happened in the '50s and realizing that nothing like that would every happen today. Nearly everyone seems to be out for themselves and doing only what benefits them. I dunno. I know people did mean things then. But it seems people are meaner to each other these days.
• I celebrated my 24th birthday 2 days ago. Pretty fun. Feels really old! When you are 23, it still feels like you are kinda young and close to college and whatever. But when you are 24, thats a big kid age. How did I get here?!?! Anyways, on Friday night, my family and I went out to celebrate. We went to Pei Wei (my favorite!) for dinner and then drove to The Woodlands to get Cheescake Factory for dessert. Both so delicious! After we ate our cheescake, we went on this boat tour thing around the town center area. I think they are kinda building it up like the River Walk in San Antonio. On Saturday, my family put me to work because my parents are trying to sell their house and the realtor was coming over to take pictures for the internet and flyers and things like that. Our house officially went on sale on Saturday, so my parents are very excited. That night, Jenny, Audrey, Amy Sistrunk, my brother and I drove down to Kemah and ate at the mexican restaurant there (don't recommend it - my nachos were cold and untasty!), walked around and rode some rides including a very fast, very scary roller coaster (not a good idea after dinner!). Overall pretty fun and it was nice to be out with my good buddies and my baby brother.

I think thats its for now. I'll post some cute pictures from my birthday weekend soon as well as some cute ones of Ella that I took in some moments of boredom.

God bless!