Disabled Veterans

Today I rode the Independence Ride in Wallis, TX benefiting disabled veterans.

Now what image comes to mind when you think of an average disabled veteran?

I think of an older gentleman in maybe his 60s or 70s.

Reality really hit today at this ride.

Many of the disabled vets that were there were young. Very young. My age. My brother's age. It broke my heart.

I'm not really sure where I stand on the war. You would think someone who grew up in the midst (literally!) of the Gulf War would have a strong stand one way or another. But I don't. I see things wrong with it and I see things not neccessarily right, but justified with it. Maybe I'm a pacifist by nature and don't really understand how human beings can do these things to one another and feel okay about it. I dunno. It boggles me.

Anyways. Its just been on my mind all day. My brother could be one of those guys now saddled in a wheelchair and fighting for his independence. And the amazing sacrifice that these very young men (I didn't see any women today but I know there are some) made for their country. I'm not emotionally patriotic or anything but I do love my country (not everything about it but in general) and feel very blessed to be an American citizen. And these young vets are putting their love into action. How humbling.

Otherwise, besides sobering, the ride was pretty good. I started off fairly strong (for me anyways) and had a good tailwind behind me. However, as I turned the corner the sidewind and later the headwind hit and man oh man. I was dying. I opted to do a shorter route (40 miles) than originally planned (60 miles) but feel I might have died if I had gone an additional 20 into the wind (and that whole extra 20 would have been into the wind...oi vey). I told my dad I would do 60 miles next time we rode and then he informed that there really weren't anymore organized rides like this until January. Oh well. Enough about cycling.

I finally finished putting up all the Christmas decorations and am fairly pleased. Its nothing special and certainly not perfect but I like it and it makes me very happy :0)

My mom got back from Florida. She said it was okay. Apparently my grandma is turning into a somewhat unpleasant and manipulative elderly woman. I still love her and she is definitely not that way to me that I know of, but it still makes me hurt for her. I know she is frustrated and depressed but I really just want her to be happy, have a full life and know that Jesus loves her. Just keep praying for her. Her health is not so wonderful (my mom had to give very clear instructions to her on how to eat appropriately - she has dropped 20 lbs. in the past few months and thats a lot for someone who is only 4'11! Now you know where I get height from) so yeah. I dunno. Just lift her up if you think about it.

Okay I think I've typed enough for now. I have various thoughts and pieces of news so I'll try and space it out over the next few days.

God bless!

Its Beginning to Look A Lot Like CHRISTMAS!

Well, I didn't get a sub job for today so the day was spent picking up around the house, running some errands AND doing Christmas shopping and decorating! How glorious! I just love this time of year and start eagerly anticipating its arrival around my birthday (in September - go ahead and make fun). This year however, I have been instructed to scale back on Christmas decor because my parents are showing their home on a regular basis in hopes of selling it and I've had to scale back on my shopping b/c of lack of a job (there is exciting news on the horizon - I'll share more in a later post once things materialize). But I still love the spirit and buzz of activity that occurs during this time of year, so my spirits aren't dampened too much. Plus, the decor, shopping and whatever else are not really what the season is about anyways so maybe having to scale back on what I normally get caught up in will help me to focus all my attention on why there is even a Christmas season at all and for that lesson/reminder I am blessed and grateful :0)

A general update on life...

So, my updates have been a little scattered as of late as well as more about certain special events in my life as opposed whats happening overall. So I decided it was time for a general update on life.

Job/ Internship: Just 3 days left of my internship! Pretty glad about that. So ready to get a real job and get paid for it :0) They might offer me a job there and I'm thinking about taking it and working there while I work on my teacher certification. We'll see. I'm not entirely sure about that plan at this point.

Teacher certification: I have applied and am waiting for my transcripts to come in. Hopefully that will be next week and I will have everything in by December 14 (thats the deadline for me since I applied on November 14).

Ella: Took her to the vet today. She was so good. Still testing positive for Lyme Disease so they gave me some more medicine for her in hopes of clearing it up. If she still tests positive for it after that it just means she has antibodies that are producing a positive on the bloodtest. She got her immunizations today and was so good. Didn't even flinch one bit. The nurse muzzled her at first to do some things (neither Ella or I were very happy about that) but that was taken off and things went fine. Tonight she will probably get an ice cream treat for being so good at the vet. Yeah, I'm a sucker. I just feel so bad taking her there because she is so miserable and stressed out when she goes. Haha... Otherwise, she is doing great. She misses having another dog around to play with.

Church: I've decided to go back to HFBC. I think it is worth the drive. I went to their Sunday night singles class and then the church service and really loved it. I also saw my friend from Baylor, Andrew Ginakis, so it was good to see him there too. In a few weeks, the singles class is going on a camping trip and I think I might be brave and go despite not knowing anyone in the class. I guess I'll really get to know people that way! Haha..

Boys: What do you think?? Haha... I wish I had exciting news here but I don't. Someday though. I did have a dream last night that I was getting married. It was the night before and I realized I had forgotten to order the cake and get photographers and was super stressed about it. Then, at the beginning of the ceremony, the pastor called off the wedding and sent everyone home because a lightening storm was coming. I was depressed after that in my dream. Not to mention my dress was super ugly too. Weird.

Living situation: Trying to move out within the next few months. Difficult though. I need a townhome or something of the like with a backyard for Ella. She really is too big and too active of a dog to be left at home all day and then to not be able to roam around free of a leash for a while after I get home. Her breed especially is inclined to roaming so I really feel that she needs that leash-free roaming time. I'll still walk her and such but she really does need that yard. I've found a few things but they are 3 bedrooms and I don't need that. Two is a lot and I would be okay with it but I'd really just prefer 1. We'll see. Just pray that I find what I need at the time that I need it.

I think I covered everything. This week has been good. Kyle came home yesterday so I've been hanging out w/ him and the fam. Yesterday we went to WalMart and I got the Hairspray DVD and we watched it last night. So great! Today, I went to lunch with Ashley, one of my old roomates and got to catch up with her. It was so good to see her. Too bad lunch couldn't have lasted longer but we both had stuff to do. I'm excited because she is moving back to Houston sometime next summer so she can start her LSSP internship year/first year in either Katy or Fort Bend ISD. I might be teaching Special Ed in one of those districts so maybe she can be my LSSP! Haha...

Hope y'all have a happy Thanksgiving. Get excited because the radio stations start playing Christmas music around the clock tomorrow. Yay! I've been listening to the radio station I listened to while living in DFW online because they started playing Christmas music November 1. Some people are really perturbed about it but not me! I love it!

God Bless!

Ren Fest!

So this past weekend, I had the delightful and rather interesting experience of going to the Texas Renaissance Festival up near Magnolia. I have wanted to go for the past 8 1/2 years (when I moved here from Saudi) and I finally got the chance. I went with Audrey, her boyfriend, Andrew and Mina. Too much fun. And too much food! Haha... After more than 5 hours of walking around and seeing all there was to see, here are the pictures! Beware though...apparently showing a lot of cleavage and in some cases a lot of skin in other places so if you see any, don't be too alarmed. It took me a couple of hours of being there to not be so shocked by it every time I saw it. Anyways, here are the pics!

Mina enjoying a giant turkey leg

Barbarians dancing (it was Barbarian weekend @ Ren Fest)

Jousting tournament

Andrew being very talented at the stick juggling thing - he has some serious skills!

Audrey (she's sitting opposite of Andrew) and Andrew in a cool swing

Some lady's cool peacock feather dress

I love these cool hammock chairs! It felt really good to sit in after walking around that much. If I had any money, that is one thing I would have bought myself :0)

A girl doing amazing stunts. Yeah - she's only hanging onto two pieces of fabric. Pretty cool. She was a tiny girl but had amazing muscles to hold herself up like that!

Cool swing we got to go on :0)

My feet while we are swinging :0)

I love listening to bagpipes. This guy and the other guys he was playing with were jamming.

Riding an elephant with Audrey :0) Yeah, that elephant is taking a leak. Its not just your imagination.

Belly dancing. That one lady in the middle was actually pretty good!

And this picture isn't from Ren Fest. Its a picture of the business next to where we ate dinner later that night. Read carefully what it says on the window. Anything strike you odd?

So Ren Fest was busy and fun. I highly recommend it but make sure you a) bring good walking shoes b) bring a good amount of money - its not necessarily a cheap thing to do on a weekend. But worth it.

Update on my grandma - She came out of surgery fine and came home from the hospital today. She's still weak and feeling yucky but otherwise okay and my aunt is there to help her out. She wanted to stay in the hospital longer but said the treatment by the nurses and other staff there was so horrible that she had to leave. Hopefully she'll keep getting better instead of worse. Just keep praying for her!

Anyways, I have more to say but this post has gotten long enough. Maybe tomorrow.

Hope y'all are doing well and gettin' excited for Turkey Day! God bless!

PS - I'm having formatting problems w/ this post so if it looks a little funny, I can't help it! I tried to fix it a couple times but it keeps reverting back to what it was before. So sorry!

Pray For My Grandma Please!

My sweet grandma is having surgery tomorrow (its either gastrointestinal or urological - I'm not sure which). She has been in a lot of pain the past few months, so hopefully this will help alleviate her misery. My aunt is flying out next week to take care of her once she gets out of the hospital and then my mom is flying out after Thanksgiving to stay with her for a while too. Hopefully this will be a sweet time for them despite the circumstances. They don't always get along with each other (my mom's family is kinda crazy) so hopefully they can put their differences aside and enjoy the time together. Also, my grandma isn't really saved either, so maybe some more seeds will be planted during the next few weeks. She thinks she's going to heaven because she is a good woman and doesn't do bad thins, but as far as any relationship goes, there isn't really evidence of one. Anyways, just pray that things will be already, healing will be speedy and love and warmth will surround during her time with her daughters.

I'm trying to decide whether to get certified to teach. Its a big decision and not one I need to rush into or take lightly. But I do need to make a decision soon her as the deadline to apply and register for January trainings is fast approaching. It involves a pretty significant financial commitment. I think its what I want to do, but I feel like I jump around a lot from thing to thing because I can't decide. Maybe I do and maybe I don't, but I just want to stick with something, do it and do it well. I think I would be a good special ed teacher. I was a good aide. My feelings about my internship ebb and flow so I'm not sure if I do or don't want to do it. I like the part of working with the families and like most of my coworkers, but not much else. I dunno.

Anyways, excited about this weekend. Probably going to the Renaissance Festival with Audrey (and maybe some others - let me know if you want to come - all are welcome!). I have wanted to go every year for 8 years and I think the time has come! Yay!

Hope y'all are doing well. God bless!

Sic 'em bears - Homecoming '07

So, I went to Baylor this past weekend for homecoming. So fun! I stayed with my sweet friend Kimberly and got to see nearly everyone on my list of people I wanted to see. Unfortunately, as well intentioned as I am about taking lots of pictures, I carry my camera everywhere but forget to take pictures. Here are some of the few that I did get.

Sweet Min and I at the bonfire. Unfortunately, we had this huge white light shining on us, so the picture isn't that great. I love this girl! Need to visit her in DC soon!

Fun KXA friends @ the bonfire (Min, Diane, Kim, me, Katie)

The Texas Tech double T in flames. Too bad we didn't really burn them at the football game the next day :0(

My sweet ENGAGED friend Nikki! She was KXA's homecoming nominee this year and although I didn't actually get to see her in the parade, the pictures of her were gorgeous (would you expect any different from this girl!?!) Can't wait til her wedding!

Sarah Bush! I absolutely adore this precious girl! She's one of those people who just warms your heart to be around :0)

Oh baby brother! He was so sweet and cooked all the hot dogs and hamburgers at the KXA alumni tailgate (not only is he my little brother, but he's a Big Brother for KXA too - the Stewart legacy lives on...)

Baylor not winning :0( One year, it will be the year of the Bear. Not this year though!

The Golden Wave Band performing Thriller! It was AWESOME!

The hostess w/ the mostest! Can't get enough of this sweet friend!

Sweet KXA friends at the football game (as we were leaving not too far into the 3rd quarter - it was too hot and too depressing at that point to stay). Such sweet girls :0)

So that was some of my weekend. I basically just hung out and saw sweet friends that I missed and ate a lot of food. Hehe...

Unlike last year though, I didn't come away grieving the loss of my college years. I think I am slowly becoming okay and adjusting to (out of necessity) my single adult life. I still miss Baylor, but maybe not in the same way that I did previously.

This week has been okay. Went to a teacher certification info meeting last night. Pretty good. I need to pray before I start applying and investing my money in this. I think it is what I am supposed to do, but I just want to be sure. I mean nothing is ever a sure thing, but I want to have peace about going through this process.

Hope y'all are doing well. God bless!

Ella's First Halloween (well with me anyways...)

Well, tonight was pretty fun! Ella didn't quite make it through the night in her bumblebee costume (moped around and then faked an injury so we would take it off of her...drama queen!) but I did get a precious picture of her in her costume though before all that:

She really enjoyed meeting all the trick or treaters. She gave them kisses and let them love and pet on her all they wanted. She also tried to steal some candy but that was rather unsuccessful. So she settled on eating a stick from the front yard. Here is her and I sitting outside waiting for the trick or treaters:

So yeah. We only sat out there for like 45 minutes. No one really trick or treats that much anymore but we did give away most of the candy. There was one huge spurt of people but it was over almost as quickly as they came. Here's the pumpkin I carved (a favorite activity of mine!) with some assistance from my dad:

I think the picture in the dark is much better b/c you can't see the sharpie lines from where I messed up. Oh well. I'm glad it made it through the night though b/c one part was just hanging by a string and wanted to fall off.

Anyone else do anything fun for Halloween?

Interesting story of the day from my internship: A mom breastfed her child. Her 26 month old child. In front of me and two of my co-workers. Not once. Not twice. Not three times. 4 times (in 2 hours)! Boob hanging out and everything. And the child was telling mom which boob she wanted to drink from. AWKWARD!!!

Well, must get some rest. Substituting for a PPCD class tomorrow. So excited!

God bless!

New found respect for my teacher friends...

So today, I gained new respect for my teacher friends.

Holy moly.

So, today was my first day of subbing in Cy-Fair. I was a little nervous, but excited. My assignment was for a kindergarden (I'm still not sure how to spell that word) class of 20 kids. Now I'm much more comfortable working in a special ed classroom with 5 kids. But I thought it would be okay.

Oh my gosh. Within the first hour, a kid physically assaulted me and was removed from my room. The kids constantly argued with me, talked back, completely ignored me or found some other way to create problems in the classroom. I was dying! And I thought it was all my fault. No one had prepared me for this!

Well, later in the day, the teacher next to my room (Everyone can hear what is going on in the rooms b/c its like one big room divided with bookshelves. I know there's a word for this type of set up but can't remember it) came over and said I was doing a great job with the class and that they were an extremely difficult class. Their normal teacher struggles with them on a daily basis. It made me feel so much better because I totally thought it was all me and my inadequacy to be a teacher.

But holy cow. I don't know if I could do a class like that on a daily basis! Geez! Luckily, a para was in the room with me for the afternoon (and I have great respect for them b/c I used to be one!) so that made my job a little easier b/c she knew the kids and how to handle them.

There were some sweet ones that redeemed the day for me so that was good. One told me I was the best teacher ever (pretty sure she tells everyone that) and another told me I was beautiful like a beauty. Haha... so sweet. Too bad their sweetness couldn't rub off on the rest of the class. I felt bad b/c most of my time there was spent dealing with the problem kids in the class and ignoring the good ones. They didn't seem mad, but I felt bad for not getting to pay any attention to them. I praised them for doing a great job when I had a chance, but that time was limited.

So anyways. Hopefully I'll get some more special ed calls soon (not always a pleasant experience I realize though) in an environment I'm more comfortable in. Hopefully not all classes I substitute for will be that awful.

Anyways, I just wanted to let my teacher friends know I have a new found great respect for them! Bless you all!

The School Bus Hit My Car!

Hello friends! So the past week has been rather eventful. Where should I start???

Well, the internship was rather uneventful this week. Actually, boring is a better descriptor of my week. Monday, I had training in the morning which was okay. After that, I went on some home visits with a girl (who was super nice) and then I was supposed to drive across town to get a flu shot. Well, at that same time a downpour/monsoon started here in Houston. It was 3 and I needed to be in another part of Houston before 4 to get my flu shot. No big deal usually. Well, it took me longer to get across town than normal but I got there at 3:50. Just in time, right? Ha! They had already packed up and gone home for the day with the flu shots. Argh! So I had risked my life in a monsoon to get this shot and didn't even get it. And now I had to drive back across town to home in the still persisiting monsoon. It took me 2 hours!! Ugh. On Tuesday, the rain had stopped, but the day was not so good either. I was supposed to meet the same girl from the day before at 8:00 a.m. to follow her around some more. Well, her car got water in the engine so she couldn't come in. So I sat there in the office for a couple hours (mind you, when I'm not following someone or in a training class, I have nothing to do at my internship - and this happens rather frequently) and finally found another girl to follow for a bit. But she didn't have much either. So we sat some more with nothing to do. I was supposed to go to a visit later in the day with her, but we got there and the mom had forgotten about the important 2 hour meeting that was supposed to happen. So we left and went back to the office and did nothing. A horribly monotonous and unproductive day. Wednesday, I had more training which was okay. I had jury duty that afternoon but that was uneventful and I was dismissed 45 minutes after I got there. So I got home and started doing things around the house. Which leads me to my next story.

So, I normally park my car on the street outside my parents house. Thats what I did on Wednesday. Well, later that evening, my mom and I were going to meet my dad for dinner. As we went by my car, my mom goes, "Look! There's a huge dent in your car!" Oh dear. So, I called to file a police report the next morning and that guy just treated me like I was stupid and was like go solve it with your neighbor across the street because clearly someone backed out and hit it. Well, talking with our neighbor across the street is just something no one does. The police are very familiar with him (but apparently not this policeman). He just causes a lot of issues. Has had several loud loud loud drinking parties on weeknights keeping the whole neighborhood up. His son is involved in a gang and drugs and there has been a drive by shooting across the street from our house. His son is now on the run from the police for a drug charge. We just really didn't want to confront him. Luckily, our next door neighbors helped us rule them out. Apparently the damage had been done between 2:30 and 4:00 when the buses bring kids home, a landscaping truck had been parked across the street partially blocking the street and making it a narrow squeeze on our street. The paint on my car is black and yellow and my car had been moved a foot and suspended against the curb. Clearly something large couldn't get through the opening and nudged my car a bit. We got the police back out (a nicer guy this time) and made a report, so thats getting resolved. I called the school district and they are being super nice about working with me so far and I'm meeting with them this week to see if it really was one of their buses. Here's a pic of the damage:

Thursday, I got my haircut (sorry, no pics). Its okay. Shorter than I like but I still like it. It'll grow eventually. Nothing else really eventful happened that day besides dealing with the police and insurance company.

Friday, my brother came home and we did things to celebrate his and my dad's birthdays (Kyle's was the 15th, my dad's is the 22nd). I made two cakes this weekend which was wonderful. I haven't gotten to do that in a long time (maybe since May!). They turned out pretty decent. Nothing too fancy, but I liked them. Here are the pics of the cakes:

Saturday, I got to do my favorite thing each week. For the month of October, I have been volunteering to be a buddy for a soccer league in Katy for kids with special needs. I've also got my dad going too because he can't go on rides on Saturday mornings for a while because of his collarbone. I love it! This week, I was buddies with this precious little boy named Ben who has Downs. I'm not sure why, but I'm really passionate about working with kids with Downs. He had no interest in playing soccer besides reading the letters on the soccer balls, but I still had a good time with him and his dad. Next week is our last week which I'm very sad about. There's an awards party the following week, but I will be in Waco for Baylor's homecoming (so excited!). I'm so glad I found out about this opportunity because its brought a great deal of joy to my weekends! It also has made me lean towards getting certified to teach special ed. I really think thats what I might do. I've thought about a lot of options and I think despite the hard job that it is, I really want to do that. I'm researching the different alternative certification options and am praying hard about what to do. I really miss working with the kids I worked with last year (way more than I thought I ever would).

This morning at church was pretty good. I went back to a church I had tried like 6 weeks ago. I was not impressed with the service then and I really wasn't this morning. However, the singles group, although small, was FANTASTIC! They teach the Word, pray for each other, go out and do fun things and the people (mostly girls - they were so fun!) were great! I can't wait to go back. What an answer to a prayer that has been on the forefront lately!

I think I'll end with a prayer request. My sweet friend Audrey (we've been friends since we were like 10!) is going through a really hard time right now. Her dad has stage 4 liver cancer that has spread and at his last appointment, the results were not good. She is also a first year teacher so that has a lot of stresses. Anyways, if you could just lift her and her family up, that would be great.

So, I'm off to start another exciting week. God bless! Here's a pic of Ella helping Kyle fix dinner that will make you smile:

I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee...

Hehe. Well, last week, Target was having a fantastic sale ($8!) on their Halloween costumes....for dogs. Hehe. And you know I couldn't resist. After much discussion with my dad, we decided Ella should be a pumpkin for Halloween. Well, unfortunately, they were out of pumpkin costumes in her size (its tough being a big girl!) so we went with the next best thing - a bumblebee! Unfortunately, Ella's enthusiasm for her sweet new costume is significantly less than mine. I tried it on her (much to her chagrin and struggling to get away) and got two pictures (she is also scared of the camera, so the costume and the camera weren't such a great combination anyways). So here is my sweet girl in her costume:

Clearly, she is trying to escape me as I take her picture. But ya' know, my mom heard on like The Today Show or something like that that they are having a contest and you should send pictures of your dog in their costume in and the winner of the contest gets a trip to New York. I really want to go to New York (of all the places I have been, NY is not one of them!) so yeah. I'm using my dog to make my dream come true. Haha...

Anyways. Last weekend, my parents and I drove up to Waco for the day to see my brother (don't be hurt that I didn't call people - I wasn't there that long!) and do an early bday celebration (he's turning the big 2-1 on Monday...yikes!). As it happened, my sweet sweet friends, Jeremy and Chelsea who recently moved to Boston were in town to visit their church and luckily had about an hour to spare to see me! Oh how I miss them! Anyways, Ella got to meet them and pretty much loved them. Here is a picture of all of us:

So yeah. Just wanted to give you an update on the life of Ella. I love that dog!

God bless!

A little frustration

So, I've really just been struggling with a few things lately (and I've probably lamented about them before) and I just don't know how to fix the situations or what to do about them. Let me know if you have any ideas. My frustrations are:

1. Its not just a lack of knowing what I want to do after I graduate with my Masters. Its knowing what to do with my Masters. I feel sometimes as if that program were a waste of my time and I should have done something different because so far its getting me nowhere fast. There seem to be no jobs for me that require a Masters and/or do not recognize that I have a Masters and therefore will not compensate me for that qualification. Its frustrating to feel like I have worked hard on it and put myself in debt (argh...student loans!) over it and nothing is coming of it. Now, I loved my program for the most part. I liked learning all about it and researching it and stuff. But was it really worth it?? I feel like if I had done an MSW program or something like that, I might have been better off. But I'm certainly not willing to put myself in more debt to get another degree so I am a desired applicant. I was talking to a girl the other day and she said if she had a Masters, she would accept $50-$60K/ year and no less. Its not about the money...really it isn't. But when you are looking to pay back a significant amount of student loans, it kinda has to be a little bit. So why do other people with Masters make that much but I can't?
2. Church. I'm beginning to hate it. The institution of it at least. I love the Lord and realize that this thing we call "church" was created so that we could fellowship and grow with other believers. But I feel like it has gone so wrong. Few churches seem to really get what being a true church is about. And very few want to minister to singles in their 20s and refuse to even attempt to. Everything is about being married and having kids and such. That seems to be what ministry is about. But what about those of us who are not called to that at this time? We might desire it, but we are not there right now and are here for a certain reason. So why is this specific group so ignored and/or pitied? Jenny and I have tried several churches in the area and just are kinda frustrated and dismayed with things. We don't feel like we should have to drive 30 minutes to church every Sunday and only participate on Sundays because the church is so far from us. So whats the solution? I feel very isolated and alone and missing the community that I so strongly desire and yearn for.
3. Houston. Love it and hate it. I love being near my family and doing some things around the city. But I hate the busy-ness of it all. The fast paced life that never seems to ease up. THE TRAFFIC. Not much I can do about it, but a frustration nonetheless.

Okay thats enough griping for the day. I have a few more items that I am frustrated with but are not blog-worthy and rather trivial at best. So yeah. Since I griped, I think it is only appropriate to say what is blessing me right now and making me joyful.

1. Living with my parents (most of the time). It is so nice to not have to worry about many things that if I were living alone, would be worrysome. Sometimes its hard to live with them, but things are going okay right now. Not something I want to do forever, but good for right now.
2. Jenny Sheets. I love that we are living in the same place and are kinda in similar places in our lives right now. I don't think I would be making it very well if God had not placed her in my life, especially at this time. Really the only community I receive on a regular basis and I love this girl! I could go on, but maybe in another post, because this girl is amazing!
3. Ella. I know she's just my dog, but she brings me an indescribable kind of joy that really is comforting. She drives me crazy sometimes but am truly thankful for this extra blessing in my life.
4. Spare time. I think this will be the last time in my life for a while where I will have spare time. I am able to get in the Word on a nearly daily basis, walk my dog, go out with friends, do things on weekdays that I normally would not be able to and just relax a little. I complain about the boredom but I think I will miss this freedom when its gone in a few months.

Okay. Enough. Another marathon post for my faithful readers.

God bless!

Pretty sizzles, sexy fizzles

Modest really is hottest.... and the fashion world is starting to agree!

So, I read Beth Moore/Living Proof Ministries blog every now and then and they discussed this article in the Houston Chronicle and how the fashion world is taking a turn towards "cute" and "sweet" rather than the typical "sexy". So thats good news for us who don't think showing our butt cracks and/or cleavage is appropriate and that now when we go shopping, it might not be such a struggle to find appropriate things to wear that are stylish too! Yay!

`Pretty' sizzles, `sexy' fizzles
Designers get away from steamy looks; now `cute' is in

By CLIFFORD PUGH
Copyright 2007 Houston Chronicle

MILAN — Here in the Italian fashion capital, there's a rich history of glitzy, glamorous body-baring designs.

The late Gianni Versace and former Gucci designer Tom Ford pioneered the steamy look in the 1990s. Roberto Cavalli and Dolce & Gabbana, along with Versace's sister, Donatella, and Gucci designer Frida Giannini continued the tradition. Houston women who work out regularly and love to show off their well-toned bodies love their risque creations.

But something strange has happened with spring 2008 collections: Sex has virtually disappeared.

Retailers have used words like "pretty," "cute" and "flirty" to sum up the looks. "Steamy" and "sensual" have been missing from the lexicon.

"There's much more of a feminine spirit and a fanciful spirit in the air here," Neiman Marcus fashion director Ken Downing said. "It's more about flirting as opposed to an obvious, overt sexiness. But there's nothing better than a good flirt, don't you think?"

A lot of skimpy mini-skirts were spotted on the runways. But lengths just as often stopped just below the knee or skimmed the floor. Pants were varied, too, from skinny stovepipe legs to super-wide bell bottoms. Day dresses and evening gowns rarely hugged the body, although they thankfully no longer expand to tent size proportions.

Cavalli — who has long championed tight leopard prints and plunging necklines — was among those leading the charge. Before his show, he said it was time to rediscover the "innocence of the woman."

Instead of his trademark form-fitting gowns, Cavalli showcased demure lace dresses, whispy tunics, coats made silk petals and loosely-draped evening attire. The setting was modeled after the Hall of Mirrors at the Palace of Versailles.

While a few designs plunged to the navel — despite Cavalli's new sentiments, he just couldn't seem to resist exposing a breast or two — the overall look was subdued.

Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, whose sexy-bordering-on-pornographic magazine ads showing group couplings have been banned in some countries, also jumped on the modesty bandwagon.

The duo's top-of-the-line collection featured voluminous ball gowns hand-painted with Impressionistic flowers, while their lower-priced D&G line showcased frilly floral print dresses with gladiator sandals.

Gucci's Giannini, who has put her stamp on the company in recent years, sent out a feminine collection of frothy pink cropped jackets, short skirts and draped minidresses mixed with harder-edged attire, like skinny checked pants and a snakeskin motorcycle jacket.

Her closing statement of pretty ball gowns in dramatic yellow, black or floral black and white print seemed suited for a charity ball — not a trendy statement. Far sexier: Gucci's sky-high gold stilettos with gold ankle cuffs. Shoes are where the sex is next season.

Donatella Versace, who became Versace's chief designer after her brother was murdered 10 years ago, also showed an uncharacteristically sedate collection. Dresses and evening gowns in popsicle colors were draped loosely.

The one body part Versace seems obsessed with: the back. Many gowns and some blouses featured exposed skin all the way down the spine.

Maybe it's just all in the timing. Fashion constantly changes to lure new customers, so each season new styles are unveiled as the next great thing. But the changes often are incremental.
Downing predicts that spring will be a continuation of the "really strong glamorous woman" that appeared on the runway for fall. "The clothes are a little softer. There are not as many jackets. You don't have as many constricting fabrics. But it's still a very dressed-up spirit," he said.
Another possible explanation for more practical styles: Milan has more female designers at major houses than any of the world's other fashion centers.

Women's Wear Daily notes that a large number of family-run companies — Prada, Albert Ferretti, Versace, Fendi, Missoni, and Etro — were founded by women or now run by daughters and sisters. The contingent also includes Consuelo Castiglioni at Marni, Anna Molinari at Blumarine, and new hires Alessandra Facchinetti at Valentino and Christina Ortiz at Salvatore Ferragamo.

Women's Wear Daily suggests that female designers are often more in tune with what works for women. "Women seem to know better what other women need, want and like to wear," Angela Missoni told the newspaper.

Not every designer stuck to the "pretty" look. The Canadian designers of Dsquared2 — who are men — created a collection that would have fit right in during Tom Ford's Gucci heyday, with black teddys, minis and "trikini" swimsuits studded with Swarvoski crystals. Next to the demure looks on other runways, the clothes looked tired and tawdry.


So, its not perfect yet, but at least we are moving in the right direction! Be encouraged!

God bless!

PS - Here's the link to that article if you wanted it: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/life/style/5179253

Craig Biggio and Preemies

No, those two have nothing to do with each other. Just what has occurred in my life in the past two days.

Yesterday, I watched Biggio's last game ever (and the Astros season closer) on tv with my mom. Super sad I couldn't be there in person. I like Biggio because he is a classy guy and conducts himself in a classy way on and off the field. A role model I feel that truly deserves to be one. I also like that while he probably has a couple more good playing years left in him, he has decided to step aside for the sake of his kids and his wife. In my opinion, there's nothing more manly than that. He is laying aside all kinds of fame and glory for the sake of his family. Truly admirable. And will be very missed by Astros fans everywhere.

Today at my internship, our Child Find Coordinator (Kim - she's so sweet!) took us (the new kids) to Ben Taub Hospital to tour the NICU. We went to the Level III nursery (the most serious kids) and got to walk around. I've never seen a preemie, so it was so interesting (and sad) to see that. They didn't even look real. I was also surprised they let us get so close but I'm glad they did. I am so fascinated my the medical world, so this visit (although sobering) was right up my alley. It was also sad to hear some of the stories there because Ben Taub is a community hospital (where the people with no money/insurance are sent), so a lot of these families have sad stories anyways and now these precious babies are fighting for their lives.

Anyways, thats all really. Just some tidbits I wanted to share. God bless!

Church (and some other odds and ends)

So, I haven't really had a true "home church" since I was in high school. Mostly my fault and fear of commitment from some not so great experiences at churches. However, I deeply desire that type of community and fellowship to be involved in. And I'm just finding it sort of difficult. I'm not always sure why either. I think sometimes I'm overly critical of churches when attempting to be discerning. I am also finding it difficult to find a place in a church as a single adult. Some churches have no singles in their congregation and pay little attention to ministering to singles (which is fine - some churches have no need to do this) and others put so much focus on having a huge singles group that they are nearly a seperate entity from the church and there is very little integration with the rest of the church body and there is much lack of community because the group is so huge. Its hard to find a church with a balance. I seek a church that is doctrinely sound, its focus is completely on God and furthering the Kingdom, of moderate size, has a reasonable variety of ministries within and outside the church and the singles group (like any other group seeking to minister to people at a certain station in life) seeks to minister within itself as well as being fully integrated in the rest of the church body. I also don't want the singles group to be eharmony.com. While I think church is an optimal place to meet those of the opposite sex, I feel that singles groups are often "meat markets". I just feel that churches don't know what to do with their singles and singles don't know how to integrate within the church.

Thats just been my experience for the most part thus far. That, or the church is very far away from my house and impractical to be involved in more than just on Sundays or whatever. So what is the answer to this problem? Does anyone know of any churches for me to try? I tried a church with my sweet friend, Amy Sistrunk. It was good. Slightly more charismatic than I prefer, but still good. I'd be open to giving it some more chances. Amy said there was a small group of young singles there as well, so thats promising.

Anyways, this weekend has been okay. Its been nice to have my dad home, alhtough it was short. He came home from Brazil yesterday morning at 5:30 and left for Portugal this afternoon at 2:30. My poor daddy. Hopefully that will be the last of the traveling for at least a few weeks. We basically just ran around and did random stuff all weekend. I'm really praying for a close group of friends to do things on the weekends with so I don't feel like there is nothing to do but hang out with my parents. They are fun and all but I'd really like to have my own adult life seperate from my parents. So maybe in a month or two, I won't be spending my entire weekends with just my parents. We shall see.

I've really been struggling with a sense of purposelessness lately. I graduate with my Masters in December and have no idea where to go with it. My internship is okay but I feel that so much of it is caught up in running across the city, filling out obscene amounts of paperwork and making sure you are doing eveyrthing legal that the personal touch and connection often gets lost. I just don't know if I could love a job like that despite all the good it does for children and families. I know I'm passionate about that population, but I don't know if being an EIS (early intervention specialist) is how I want to serve them. I'm also passionate about a million other things, so its hard to choose what to pursue. I am so blessed to have the education that I do, but what do I do with that blessing that I've been given? Not only am I feeling purposeless in the long-term realm, but also the short-term realm. I only have my internship 3 days a week and am off for the other two. I applied to substitute in Cy-Fair but that won't be for another three weeks or so. So what do I do with the time off I've been given? I can only facebook/blog stalk and read for so long. I go on walks with Ella. I have no money to spend. So what should I do? How does God want me to use this time off?

I am very sad that my Baylor Bears did not beat those silly Aggies this weekend. But I can't say I'm really surprised. They did hold on well until the last quarter, so thats good I guess. Some year will be the year of the Bear. I hope its not when I'm 100.

Okay, this post has been way long enough. I'm off to get ready for bed. Have a great week! God bless!

Blah

Do you ever have one of those "blah" days where things just don't feel right even though nothing in particular is wrong? Yeah, its one of those. I'm just mopey and I dunno. It might be boredom - I really don't have much to do. I thought about putting extra hours into my internship for the next few weeks until subbing starts but oddly enough (and this may change eventually), I don't have any desire to be there. I thought about working on my Baylor/KXA tshirt quilt, but that would require buying fabric and such and I feel like any money I spend right now aside from a very occasional dinner out with a friend is wasted and unnecessary, especially since I am making $0. I dunno. I feel like I'm in a slump and like a fire has been put out in me. I want my heart to feel alive and afire.

Anyways. In exciting news, today in the mail,my new camera that I got for my birthday came. Be prepared for more picture-ful posts in the near future! Yay!

God bless!

Tilling the Soil

So lately, I have been thinking about my difficulties in adjusting to the "real world".

A couple of weeks ago, I visited a church (it was okay, maybe I'll try it again), but the message has really stuck with me. The pastor talked about tilling the soil where God has planted us. Now, I'm not always entirely happy about living in Houston, but I think I might feel this way anywhere. I feel lonely, empty, sometimes bored and sometimes frustrated and/or depressed. I think it is because I am not pouring myself into anything or doing any soil tilling. While I was at Baylor, I was deeply involved in a couple of things, especially KXA.

My question is, what do I get involved in now? How much time do I spend? I am overwhelmed by the possibilities and just haven't quite gotten the hang of managing my time in the "real world". What is too much? I know what I'm doing right now is too little.

Ideas I have come up with include being a Special Olympics coach, finding a church and getting involved in women's ministry, some type of ministry for children with special needs, getting Ella certified for pet therapy and a few random other ideas.

Any suggestions? Thoughts? I'm tired of living only within myself and doing nothing beyond, but its like I have this fear of trying anything beyond because I don't want to get in over my head. Sometimes the thought processes that go through my head make no sense whatsoever. I need help...

Hope y'all are doing well! God bless!

Birthdays, Collarbones, Bad Drivers and Mean People

So, since I decided to wait 3 weeks between posts, I'm backed up on news and thoughts and such. I really do love to blog, but sometimes get overwhelmed with the amount I would like to post about and just avoid it all together. So here are some "news briefs" to update you.

• On Labor Day, my dad was out doing his normal morning bike ride with his buddies. 2 miles before the end of a good 60 mile ride, his friend hit a rock and went down. Because my dad was only about a foot or so behind him (they were drafting), my dad had nowhere to go but over his friend. And he landed squarely on his shoulder. Now when most people break their collarbone, it cracks in the middle, the two pieces kinda slide over each other and it heals like that. Pretty simple and a recovery time of about 3 weeks or so. Well, since my dad can't do anything simple, he ended up shattering part of it and the two pieces had a significant separation between them. When my dad took his riding jersey off in the hospital I could literally see the bone sticking up (not breaking the skin though). So the only way to fix that kind of break is through surgery. So a week later, my dad had surgery in which they used some kind of tape to bring the bone back down, put the ligaments back where they needed to be and removed some pieces of bone. So now, he is on the mend but will be another 4 weeks with his arm in a sling, several weeks of PT after that and then maybe in about 8-10 weeks, he will be allowed to ride his bike again. He hates that! And a side effect of him being out is that him training me to be a rider has been put on hold. Minor issue, but I think we are both disappointed.
• My internship is going okay. Sometimes its a little boring because I'm just in training classes (helpful, but just tedious) or doing reading activities (some of which I've done nine thousand of in grad school). My time out in the field observing and participating is slowly increasing though so thats good and interesting. They switched me to an English speaking person to shadow, so that has been much easier for me to learn and understand what is going on. I've seen some interesting things out in the field, some really heart-wrenching. Anyways, everyone at my internship seems to be very nice. There is one difficult lady that I am training with, but mainly just because she never ever stops talking and it usually has nothing to do with what we are discussing, but she is still sweet and means well. The one thing I really really really hate about my internship is the driving. Ugh! The other drivers are horrible, nasty and just really bad! Complaining about it doesn't do anything, but it makes me feel a little better.
• I went to substitute teacher orientation last week. The lady who taught it was stinkin' hilarious. Unfortunately, Cy-Fair does their subs kinda screwy and I won't be able to work for 3 more weeks and won't get paid until November 15. Ugh. But it will be good and will help me save some money to pay back loans, move out on my own and things like that.
• I got to thinking the other day about society. More specifically, just how mean people have gotten. I was listening to a story on the news about something that happened in the '50s and realizing that nothing like that would every happen today. Nearly everyone seems to be out for themselves and doing only what benefits them. I dunno. I know people did mean things then. But it seems people are meaner to each other these days.
• I celebrated my 24th birthday 2 days ago. Pretty fun. Feels really old! When you are 23, it still feels like you are kinda young and close to college and whatever. But when you are 24, thats a big kid age. How did I get here?!?! Anyways, on Friday night, my family and I went out to celebrate. We went to Pei Wei (my favorite!) for dinner and then drove to The Woodlands to get Cheescake Factory for dessert. Both so delicious! After we ate our cheescake, we went on this boat tour thing around the town center area. I think they are kinda building it up like the River Walk in San Antonio. On Saturday, my family put me to work because my parents are trying to sell their house and the realtor was coming over to take pictures for the internet and flyers and things like that. Our house officially went on sale on Saturday, so my parents are very excited. That night, Jenny, Audrey, Amy Sistrunk, my brother and I drove down to Kemah and ate at the mexican restaurant there (don't recommend it - my nachos were cold and untasty!), walked around and rode some rides including a very fast, very scary roller coaster (not a good idea after dinner!). Overall pretty fun and it was nice to be out with my good buddies and my baby brother.

I think thats its for now. I'll post some cute pictures from my birthday weekend soon as well as some cute ones of Ella that I took in some moments of boredom.

God bless!

hip hip hooray!

So, I officially got offered my internship today!! So exciting! I honestly can't wait to start! Yay!

Two points of interest though. So, I had to write this essay for my application for my internship. In the last paragraph, I mentioned that I would eventually like to learn Spanish so I could reach more clients. Haha....well, I guess whoever was reading it thought I already knew Spanish, so they paired me with a bilingual EIS (Early Intervention Specialist) who has mostly Spanish speaking clients. I will be doing most of my shadowing/observation with her. And have no clue what is going on/being said! Haha...they said she would translate for me as much as she could, but she can't spend her whole time doing that. Maybe I will be picking up some Spanish sooner than I thought. Oh dear. This should be interesting.

Also, a girl a couple of years older than me who went to Baylor and was a speech path major sent me a message on facebook saying that she is actually an EIS where I will be interning. I think I've met this girl maybe once or twice (we are facebook friends, so you know that makes it official!), so I don't know her well or anything, but at least I'll have a work friend! Kinda cool how things like that work out.

The only thing I'm not excited about is the driving. Oi vey! I am splitting my time between 2 offices on sort of opposite sides of town and neither office is particularly close to my parent's house. The Buick will be gettin' a lot of miles put on her! And I thought my drive to work last year was bad...

Anyways, just wanted to update. Hope all is well! God bless!

Perspective

Came across this verse a couple of weeks ago and it has really helped to put things in perspective.

"Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." ~Mark 14:36~

This was right before Jesus' crucifixion. Basically, he knows what is happening, does not want it to happen, but humbles, yields and obeys the Father regardless. What a sweet picture of how I need to be living my life as a Christian woman. Jesus releases all control (the "cup") and surrenders to the powerful Almighty. If he can humbly submit himself before the Lord when torture and an unfathomably horrific death is about to happen to him, why can't I do that even in the small things? Using the word, "Abba" is such a sweet, endearing term for the Father and Jesus uses it even though he knows the path is full of pain and suffering. We all try to hold and balance our "cups", especially when life feels out of control. But what would it look life if we simply gave up that cup, despite what the circumstances, to someone who knows much better how to hold it than we do?

I am definitely a cup-grabber. I like my way. I like to plan and control. And I know that holding my cup is what keeps me from sweet intimacy with Him.

Anyways, I just loved this verse and picture. Its been rolling over in my mind for the past few weeks and God has been speaking to my heart through it and I wanted to share it.

Well, internship lady called today. I have a meeting with her on Thursday to get things started and set my hours, so it looks like its a go from here! Yay! I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. I have no idea what to expect. But I love the fact that I am going to get to serve these children and families and do one of the things I am most passionate about in life. I'll let you know how it goes.

God bless!

After the ride...

So this weekend was fun! Despite the fact that I spent the entire weekend with 8 men (most of whom I do not know very well), fun was still had by all. I felt like I rode decently (averaged 15-16 mph - pretty decent for a newbie) for my first ride and am not giving up on this sport any time soon! I rode the 25 mile route but added 8 additional miles to it because I missed a turn by accident. I think maybe next time I'll ride the 50 mile route because the riders on that route are slightly more experienced and tend to ride safer and are more experienced than the ones on the 25 mile course. One cool thing about the ride was one of the rest stops. It was actually right on Sheppard's Air Force Base. Amazing! When riding up to the actual rest stop we read all these signs about the base and the AF in general. A little futher down they had a bunch of planes all on display for us to see. I was so sad that I didn't have a camera! When you got to the rest stop, there were actual members of the AF there running the stop and offering their assistance. They were so friendly (and not to mention some were really cute! Maybe I should have just stopped the ride there...hehe). Crossing the finish line was a neat experience too. Everyone cheered and clapped for you and you got this cool memento pin. I can't wait til I can ride the full 100 miles and crossing the finish line will be even cooler. Thats still a bit away though, but a goal nonetheless. It wasn't too hot this year despite the name of the ride (Hotter 'n Hell!) but was told it has been miserable in past years. So that was real nice. After the ride, we just kinda hung around, ate some snacks, waited for the others and looked at the trade show. Once everyone was finished, we packed up and drove to the Ft. Worth Stockyards to eat at Cattlemen's (apparently, this is a longstanding tradition). It was cool. My steak wasn't very good but the ambiance was neat. After that, we booked it back to Houston and fell asleep very soon after! Weekends like that wear you out!

I know some of you are wondering how meeting this boy, Chris, went. It wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it was going to be. He was cute and very nice. Most boys don't talk to me and kind just look past me, but he made good conversation the entire weekend and was really a sweet guy. I don't know if anything will come of it, but he was nice and friendly. I'm also not sure where he stands on matters of faith, but maybe we'll learn more later. I'll keep you posted. Oh, and remember that time I said I wouldn't have to wear spandex in front of him?? I was wrong. He ended up staying in our hotel and started the ride with us and yes, there was me in all my glory in spandex. Good grief. But oh well. Everyone is wearing spandex at these rides and I for sure did not look the worst. Hehe... anyways.

Exciting news! When I returned last night, I checked my email and there was an email from my contact at the internship I want. She said she had been on vacation for 2 weeks and thats why she hadn't contacted me. She told me a lady would contact me this week with more details and said they looked forward to meeting me. So I'm excited! Nervous, but excited!

Anyways, my parents are on their way home to pick me up to go eat dinner, so I must go change clothes. I'll keep you updated on any more news!

God bless!

What is going on here?

So, I moved to Houston a week ago, pretty sure I was going to have an internship and ready to finish my masters and get on with "real" life. Well, the people I was pretty sure I was going to be interning with haven't contacted me in over four weeks, my application has been in for 2 or 3 weeks and they will not reply to my emails. I thought moving here was the right thing. I have a back up plan but am not sure if I should put it into action. I could take two internet classes to finish my degree, get certified to teach Special Ed and substitute teach this year until I get a job (most likely next year). There are serious financial considerations to take into account (textbooks, insurance after I finish my degree, paying off loans, etc.). I know it is in the Lord's hands. I know He has a plan. I know I'm at this point for a reason. But I also know I need to make a decision as classes start on Monday for UNT. I need to register and order my textbooks soon if I do that. I also need to sign up for certification classes and take an entrance test if I want to teach. Do I change what I thought I was supposed to be doing. Do I wait longer? I'm just not sure. I want to make a wise, God-directed decision, but it is so hard. Just pray that my heart will be open to His guidance and that I will feel a peace about the decision I do make. And pray that I will act in faith. Teaching was something I thought I never would do. But maybe that is what God wants. Anyways, just pray. A decision needs to be made in the next day or so, so yeah, I'll be on my knees!

In other news, I will be riding my first bike ride this weekend. I will be driving up to Wichita Falls, TX with my dad, brother and some of their biking buddies to ride in the Hotter 'N Hell 100 (I will only be riding the 25 mile loop, however - 100 miles is a bit much for a beginner!). I'm pretty pumped. And yes, I will be wearing the cute spandex that you see all those crazy bikers wearing. I'm not so excited about that, but if you don't wear it, you are an outcast on these rides! You think I'm kidding. Hehe... Also, my dad has this guy that he works with who has a son my age. He will be there also (he's a cyclist as well). My dad has been trying to get me to meet him for six months. Apparently he's a nice guy. Should be interesting... not a situation I am entirely comfortable with, but I am really trying to challenge myself and do things that scare me because I too often get stuck in my very narrow comfort zone. Oh, and just so you know, I will not have to wear my spandex in front of him. We are meeting him tomorrow night at the spaghetti dinner. He is riding on his own the next day. Whew....that might have been a super awkward situation! Spandex = awkward!

Went to an Astros game tonight with my parents. So fun! It was $1 hot dog night. I just love deals like that! I don't even like hot dogs that much, but had to eat them because it was the best deal going there! I'm a sucker for deals like that. The Astros lost (seems to be a trend this season...) but it was still fun. My dad splurged a little and got us pretty good seats on the first base side. I cheered. I did the wave. I sang "Deep in the Heart of Texas" and "Take Me Out to the Ball Game". Fun was had by all!

God bless!

Doggies are not allowed on the counter!

So funny story. I told you that Ella was obsessed with Ruby, the 17 year old cat and that she couldn't understand why she doesn't want to be friends with her. She also loves Ruby's food and is constantly trying to find some way to steal some. Well, we have this butler's pantry thing in our house. Its basically like a small counter top and a cabinet thing right by our dining room (it seems kinda silly to me, but its there so whatever) and thats where we keep Ruby's plate of food. Well, Ruby had finished for the night and Ella kept sniffing and walking by it. Well, while the rest of us were distracted, she climbed up the step stool and stood on the counter top like the cat does so she could eat the leftovers! Now, this countertop is probably only 2 ft. x 2 ft. Not big at all. Certainly not big enough for a 47 pound dog! But somehow, she got herself up there and ate the cat food! Good grief...

Well, thats all for today. Still adjusting to Houston. Don't have a job or internship, so be praying about that situation or what I should do next in case that doesn't work out. I cleaned out my entire room here (6 bags - big black ones - of trash and 4 of give away stuff) and it looks wonderful! I've never been so pleased with myself. All that is left to do is to clear off and take down some shelves in my room and hang up some pictures. Pretty exciting! Hope this finds you well.

God bless!

PS - I found my old GameBoy today and all the games (like 20) that I have. I played it for like half an hour while breaking from cleaning my room and beat the first two levels of Super Mario World. You just didn't know how cool I really am...hehe

Moved to Houston...

So, two days ago, I made the move. And am somewhat alarmingly unsure of what I am doing here. I have no job, no internship or anything. But I was often unsure of why I was in grad school, but figured that God would not have allowed it to happen if it isn't where He wanted me. Just pray that I have a peace about this move to Houston and that the right doors open up, even if they aren't the ones I expected or planned on.

Living with my parents has proved interesting thus far and will definitely be a test of my patience. I think it will be okay once I establish my own life outside of them, but right now I'm spending a lot (probably too much) time with them and missing my own space. But I can't really complain because I will be living for free for the next few months which wouldn't be possible without them.

One funny thing about moving to my parents house is watching Ruby, the 17 year old cat and Ella, my sweet doggy bond. Well, I wouldn't really call it bonding. Ella tries to get as close as she can to the cat and the cat just sits there and hisses and growls (who knew cats could growl!?!?) at her. Really, it just seems like a big staring contest. And Ruby, the 5 pound cat has effectively made Ella, the 47 pound dog scared of her. I think Ella is having a really hard time understanding why Ruby does not want to be friends with her. Yesterday, Ruby went and hid under the bed in hopes of escaping Ella's sniffing nose. We figured that was okay since supposedly, Ella could not get under the bed. Well guess who wiggled herself under the bed to be closer to the cat? Haha...it was so funny. She just kinda wiggled and army-crawled under there and just stared at the cat. Ruby just looked at Ella like she was ridiculous. I think Ruby was right. Haha...I wish I had a picture of this!

Anyways, I'll continue to chronicle this interesting transition back to muggy Houston.

God bless!

Tag You're It No Tag Backs!

Haha, so my lovely friend Chelsea tagged me in this game. So here goes...

1. Post the rules


2. List 8 random facts or habits about yourself.


3. If you are tagged, then you must Post the rules and list 8 random facts or habits about yourself


4. After you post, tag people and let them know they must read your blog for the rules.

Random facts....

1. I cannot stand hair in the bathroom, especially the shower. When I get in the shower, I have to check all the walls and stuff to see if there is any hair, get it off the walls (w/out touching it of course) and watch it go down the drain. Then I can start cleaning myself. Hair in the bathroom and shower literally makes my stomach turn.
2. I have to sleep in socks. Every night. I can't sleep without them on. They are kinda like my safety blanket, only just for my feet.
3. I have a girl-crush on Rachael Ray. Seriously. I love all her shows and the things she cooks. Sometimes I wish I was her! Haha..
4. Cooking and/or baking excites and relaxes me. However, I rarely do it because I'm not a good leftover eater and most recipes make too much for one person to eat.
5. There are two things in life I have a hard time convincing myself I have enough of. One is blankets and the other is jackets/sweatshirts. I'm not sure why this is as I have only lived in extremely hot places, but its true.
6. Bookstores really really excite me. I love to go in for hours and just browse and search and things like that. I don't buy books very often (as they can get expensive) but I just love bookstores.
7. I don't get hungry until about 1:30 in the afternoon. I might eat a granola bar or something of that sort around 10:00 a.m., but really, I just am not ready for food until 1:30. I eat before then sometimes. But usually because I am on a schedule that doesn't allow me to eat at 1:30.
8. Since I've been home all summer just doing homework, I've found that all I want to watch on TV (I keep it on a lot for noise, although I don't really ever "watch" it) is '80s or '90s sitcoms. Boy Meets World. Family Matters. Golden Girls. Fresh Prince. And so on. Its weird. I'm not sure why I like them so much, but I do. That and Food Network.

Okay. Who shall I tag? Umm...Audrey and Kimberly! Ready, set, go!

HAIRSPRAY!!!

So I have a very favorite new movie. Even topping the likes of Rent and Phantom of the Opera (although still at the top of my list). I don't think there was a single moment of that movie that I did not enjoy! I took myself there on a date as a reward for finishing my final paper for my grad school class work. And what a treat it was! Seriously. Its very rare that I fully enjoy a movie. I like a lot of movies, but not as much as I enjoyed this one. I will be the first one in line when the DVD comes out :0) Hehe...

Anyways, as I have finished my final paper, today was kinda weird. I had no purpose! Haha...I haven't worked all summer but homework has kept me busy enough. Today was weird! I mean, I got up and babysat this morning, so that was fun. But after that, there was nothing! I ended up working on a craft present for friends of mine, taking myself to the movies, getting some pictures developed at Walgreens and just watching TV. What shall I do tomorrow? I have almost everything packed because as usual, I did a lot in order to avoid doing school work. Well, I guess I'll just enjoy these final days of summer because I'm not so sure I'll ever have a summer "off" again!

Dear motorcycle riders...

Dear motor cycle riders,

Just because you have a smaller vehicle than the rest of us does not mean that you can break the rules of the road. Twice today, I saw two of you clearly breaking the rules of the road and putting yourself and other drivers at risk. So even though the cement truck on the two lane road is not going very fast, just be patient like the rest of us and wait til he turns so everyone can speed up to the actual speed limit.

Also, please wear helmets. I know wearing them causes helmet hair and other undesirable effects, but I would much rather have messy hair after the ride than messy brains all over the road. Congrats to the two of you I saw today doing dangerous things - you were actually wearing helmets.

Thank you,

Lara

1 post, 2 topics...I'll try and keep this one short

Two topics are really on my heart, so I felt the need to blog about them. As I mentioned in the title, I really will try to be as concise as possible.

1. Two years ago, I worked at Sky Ranch. I remember during training before camp started we were training on the ropes and challenge courses. This one morning, we were at the pole where you climbed to the top (maybe a 15-20 ft. pole?) of it and then jumped off attempting to grab on to a trapeze bar thing before your trusty belayer people started letting you down. Wanting to be cool and fit in with the camp crowd, I decided that I had enough courage to try this pole jump off thing (although, honestly, the thought of climbing up and jumping made me want to wet my pants, throw up or both) and after watching a few of my counselor friends try it, decided it was my turn. So I got all strapped into the harness and such and shakily began the climb to the top of this pole onto a tiny little platform at the top. My new friends were cheering me on from the ground, encouraging me to keep going even though the pole was shaking more than it usually did because I was shaking so much. Very hesitantly, I got up on the platform and promptly refused to stand up. I knew I was strapped in and that belayer guy had my back, but would not stand up. Finally after what seemed like a century, I stood up. Great. Now it was time to jump. Jump!?!?! Sick. So I stood there for another century debating whether I should jump or not. I would look like a wimp if I climbed down but I also was paralyzed with fear of jumping off the stupid pole. Finally, I decided I didn't want to be a wimp and would jump. However, when I finally did jump I didn't even try for that trapeze bar thing. You were really cool if you could grab on to it. You were congratulated for trying. I just kinda hopped off the platform and let belayer guy bring me down. And I was so disappointed with myself for not even trying to reach that bar. And sometimes, this story is how I feel about my approach to life. I get all psyched up about trying new things and challenging myself. I start getting ready and such. And then I hit this point where its no longer "safe". I back down. I might go a little out on a limb, but I still kinda wimpily do the safe thing. I don't even try to challenge myself or reach/explore any further. I retreat back in my safety zone and wait to safely be brought back down to the ground. And I don't trust God in any of it. I trusted belayer guy more than I trust God. If belayer guy had my back the whole time and wasn't going to let me die from falling off a tall pole, why don't I trust God with things bigger and more important? So frustrating...
2. Earlier this week, a mother in Flower Mound (about 10 min. or so from where I live) shot and killed her husband, two kids and finally herself. They were a normal family with a normal life living in the suburbs of Dallas. Sadly, this is not a new story, not even new for this year. Its happened before. What brings people to such a point that they kill the ones they love the most? How do a husband and wife come to hate each other so much that they want to kill each other? How is a mother driven so crazy by her kids that she kills them too? And why does no one notice that they are hurting?? The next door neighbor who takes care of their dogs when they vacation didn't even know there was any problem. My heart just aches deeply over this story. I ache for the friends of the kids who aren't really old enough to comprehend or make sense of such an atrocity. I ache for the parents of the husband and wife, the grandparents of these kids. I ache for the neighbors. I didn't even know this family, yet I ache deeply. I hate that we live in a society where we need to conceal all our skeletons and in the process fall deeper and deeper into things like hurt, depression, alcoholism and other wounds that are difficult to heal. I hate that we don't talk to our neighbors on a regular basis, often not even knowing their names. Anyways, my heart just has a lot of questions about this and situations like this.

Anyways, I kept it as concise as possible.

I'm just here trying to finish my sort of thesis paper and packing up for my move to Houston next week. More on that topic later.

God bless!

Confessions of a pack rat

Since I move nearly every year, there is something I sort of rediscover about myself every time I move.

I AM A RIDICULOUS PACK RAT!

I save anything and everything. Every piece of paper has a special meaning for whatever reason and I keep filling all these Rubbermaid containers with all these papers and what not.

And I don't even know why.

I guess I really like memories and stories. In the back of my mind, I want to sit down with my kids and/or grandkids on rainy days and pull out these Rubbermaid containers (maybe someday, I'll get a really cool trunk to replace the ugly plastic) and just go through these precious pieces of papers and tell my kids the stories behind them. Somehow, I don't think my kids will have that long of an attention span! Haha... Its so weird that I do this because my mom is the exact opposite. We constantly battled growing up over her trying to throw away my precious memory items. She looks at cards once, maybe lets them sit on the counter for a few days and then tosses them. I put the cards up on a bulletin board for a couple of months then take them down and put them in the Rubbermaid containers, never to be thrown away because for some reason, they are precious memories to me.

I think my lack of ability to throw things out (its not just cards folks - its pictures, tshirts, notes, certificates, little trinkets and really anything else you can think of - I truly am ridiculous) has more to do with my difficulty in letting things go and moving on. I am constantly replaying memories from the past few years (and sometimes beyond that) over and over in my head. I have a hard time moving on from things that mean a lot to me - take Baylor for instance. I still mourn the loss of college, even a year later. Every time I drive through Waco, I want to be back in college and doing the fun things I did in college with my fun friends.

Anyways, I had to take a break from the endless piles of junk I've managed to collect over the past year, so I decided to blog about my experience amid these piles of junk. I think Pack Rats Anonymous should probably be the next step.... hehe... I really need help!