Thursday, October 11, 2007

A little frustration

So, I've really just been struggling with a few things lately (and I've probably lamented about them before) and I just don't know how to fix the situations or what to do about them. Let me know if you have any ideas. My frustrations are:

  1. Its not just a lack of knowing what I want to do after I graduate with my Masters. Its knowing what to do with my Masters. I feel sometimes as if that program were a waste of my time and I should have done something different because so far its getting me nowhere fast. There seem to be no jobs for me that require a Masters and/or do not recognize that I have a Masters and therefore will not compensate me for that qualification. Its frustrating to feel like I have worked hard on it and put myself in debt (argh...student loans!) over it and nothing is coming of it. Now, I loved my program for the most part. I liked learning all about it and researching it and stuff. But was it really worth it?? I feel like if I had done an MSW program or something like that, I might have been better off. But I'm certainly not willing to put myself in more debt to get another degree so I am a desired applicant. I was talking to a girl the other day and she said if she had a Masters, she would accept $50-$60K/ year and no less. Its not about the money...really it isn't. But when you are looking to pay back a significant amount of student loans, it kinda has to be a little bit. So why do other people with Masters make that much but I can't?
  2. Church. I'm beginning to hate it. The institution of it at least. I love the Lord and realize that this thing we call "church" was created so that we could fellowship and grow with other believers. But I feel like it has gone so wrong. Few churches seem to really get what being a true church is about. And very few want to minister to singles in their 20s and refuse to even attempt to. Everything is about being married and having kids and such. That seems to be what ministry is about. But what about those of us who are not called to that at this time? We might desire it, but we are not there right now and are here for a certain reason. So why is this specific group so ignored and/or pitied? Jenny and I have tried several churches in the area and just are kinda frustrated and dismayed with things. We don't feel like we should have to drive 30 minutes to church every Sunday and only participate on Sundays because the church is so far from us. So whats the solution? I feel very isolated and alone and missing the community that I so strongly desire and yearn for.
  3. Houston. Love it and hate it. I love being near my family and doing some things around the city. But I hate the busy-ness of it all. The fast paced life that never seems to ease up. THE TRAFFIC. Not much I can do about it, but a frustration nonetheless.

Okay thats enough griping for the day. I have a few more items that I am frustrated with but are not blog-worthy and rather trivial at best. So yeah. Since I griped, I think it is only appropriate to say what is blessing me right now and making me joyful.

  1. Living with my parents (most of the time). It is so nice to not have to worry about many things that if I were living alone, would be worrysome. Sometimes its hard to live with them, but things are going okay right now. Not something I want to do forever, but good for right now.
  2. Jenny Sheets. I love that we are living in the same place and are kinda in similar places in our lives right now. I don't think I would be making it very well if God had not placed her in my life, especially at this time. Really the only community I receive on a regular basis and I love this girl! I could go on, but maybe in another post, because this girl is amazing!
  3. Ella. I know she's just my dog, but she brings me an indescribable kind of joy that really is comforting. She drives me crazy sometimes but am truly thankful for this extra blessing in my life.
  4. Spare time. I think this will be the last time in my life for a while where I will have spare time. I am able to get in the Word on a nearly daily basis, walk my dog, go out with friends, do things on weekdays that I normally would not be able to and just relax a little. I complain about the boredom but I think I will miss this freedom when its gone in a few months.

Okay. Enough. Another marathon post for my faithful readers.

God bless!

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