So, since there is a significant amount of mental illness (bipolar, depression and the like) in my family, I always feel like I'm living under this threat that I may too have something wrong. I mostly just take that with a grain of salt but then sometimes I start thinking about and really wondering if something truly is wrong. Since I'm fairly familiar with some of the manifestations of these illnesses, I know what to look for. But I need a second opinion (I know some of you out there know a bit about this topic...). I'm thinking it may or may not be a mild form of depression, but am not sure if it is permanent or temporary and if it is a true mental illness or a misaligned spiritual attitude. Here's what I am seeing...
- Excessive sleeping and not feeling like I can ever get enough - I've never been like this up until this point.
- Apathy in some areas of my life - like working especially - I will find any excuse not to substitute and don't even care that I am losing what little money I earn (but need!) over the deal.
- Some degree of anxiety.
- Bouts of extreme frustration over small things - example: tonight I was making dinner and could not find the right seasoning that I had just purchased last week - I nearly had a melt down but talked myself out of it before I started crying.
- Sensitivity - like emotional sensitivity - this is to some degree part of how I am wired but than there are times when I know I am being hypersensitive and all around ridiculous.
Now here's the thing too. These aren't constants. They kind of ebb and flow and I never know when they are coming.
So what are your thoughts? Is there something truly wrong that I need to seek professional help for? Or am I afflicted with a sinful attitude and need to break the cycle of sin I am in? I really am baffled so any advice/experience you might have would be helpful.
So enough about that junk. In exciting news, I have an interview this week with a really neat charter school! I am going to Austin this weekend on an Extremely Short Term Mission Trip that I helped to plan (one of my favorite pastimes - planning things!) so I am pumped about that. I have a job fair on Saturday with a really good district. My dog is really cute.
That is all for now! God bless!
1 comment:
Lara~ I really support charter schools..which one is it? Let me know!! :) I will be praying for you. And also, I think I know what job fair you are going to- is it Katy? I know a few people going to that from here.
Oh yeah, and you do have a very cute dog!!
About the depression..I don't think you would have anything serious, and it could just be a stage. I have heard that many recent college grads are mildly depressed because they are trying to find their path in life, and it's really hard just starting out. Anyways, if it is affecting your work and social life, I would say you could just talk to your pastor, and then if it still doesn't go away, then maybe seek counseling. That's my advice. :)
I am personally going through a small bout of depression due to all these deaths in my family. But I know eventually it will go away. I am still going to seek counseling/advice from my pastor, and if I need more, an actual counseler.
Later girlie, love you! Hope you feel better!
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